Mom to Mom

[sandy53]

Run.  Run from this BF.  You will never agree with this situation and it will cause resentment forever if you stay in this relationship.  His DD will probably continue to make choices and demands that will cause you to questions BF's decisions.  Get out of this drama for your own sake.

[StephaniM]

No.  What she is doing is committing to be a built in babysitter and providing a roof and food For her adult employed daughter.  This is your friends time to enjoy her life and do what makes her happy and whole.  This is an infringement on your friends life.

Your friend will will end up,being the one who gets the granddaughter ready for school, will be the one driving her to her dance lessons and making her dinner.   She will become the main caregiver and your friend has already don’t that!!!  

No!  Please don’t do it.  

[Mz iMac]

@temptations fan 

"Blood is thicker than water."

Find another bf w/no baggage.

[dex]

@temptations fan @I wouldn’t try to stop this from hapoening as it is his daughter and that could make problems in your relationship with her in the future.I would ask her to be responsible for their own lives while living there...cooking,cleaning and daycare.I would offer to do some family dinners and babysitting here and there but just not a full time responsibility..It might be fun to have them.

[tucsongal]

FYI I think some posters are interpreting BF as best friend rather than boyfriend. 

[GCR18]

It doesn't sound like a good arrangement.  When my sister got divorced, she moved in with mother with her 2 kids (10&13).  Nobody cleaned up after themselves, didn't help with house hold chores, over took the house, didn't put anything back in it's place, lights on all the time, bathroom floors with wet towels on floor, washing machine running non stop, no help with yard/house work, drove my mother's car and emptied tank.  Mother was miserable in her house, but she didn't want to say anything.  Oh and the bills.  Electric bill soared, had to buy new washer, garage door broke.  They stayed three years.

I really think you should have rules, boundaries written into a contract that everyone agrees to and signs.  I.e. Contribute to bills, rent, meal time, chores, baby sitting, driving kids around, kids bringing friends into the house, you pay it you break it, etc.

I listened to drama unfold, as I don't live close.  Sure you want the daughter and kids to feel at home, BUT they need to understand it's the grandparents house and they need to treat it with respect.

[Abrowneyegirl]

HaHA HAhaa

Give a BUS and 20 minutes I can fill it with parents in this same situation and BONUS points for everyone who says, "this was only supposed to be temporary"........

This is so socially acceptable that there is no peer pressure to move out.

My friend is dating a guy, well educated a MS and a MBA comes from a very good family, makes a great living.  Drives a car worth more than many peoples home.  38 years old.

She found out he still lives with Mommy and Daddy!  And she is fine with it!!!!

[silkyk]

---

@tucsongal wrote:

FYI I think some posters are interpreting BF as best friend rather than boyfriend. 

---

I think so too. BIG difference if she is talking about her boyfriend or best friend.

[chrystaltree]

Did the young woman tell you that herself????   Or are you just assuming all that stuff?  However, even if it is true, it's absolutely none of your business.  It doesn't impact your life in any way.  As long as this is something that the mother and her daughter want, what could possibly be wrong with it?

[temptations fan]

I know this for a fact, it is my boyfriends daughter and she has said all of this. As I said my boyfriend is not thrilled with this but he doesn’t tell her.