Kitchen

[Chrystaltree2]

She's a friend, I don't understand why you didn't say something while you speaking. But you didn't. So, since you are already bringing dessert, I would bring a chicken breast or pork chop for myself and explain that I brought my own meat because I don't care for corned beef. I would not fake it! That's rude and insulting and wasteful.

[reese2]

Assuming that you're really looking forward to her company and the movie, why let one food item stand in the way? I'd never ask if I can bring something for myself rather than eat what she's planned and prepared.

I would put everything I like on the plate and not worry about the corned beef.

Your friendship is worth way more than one meal.

Have fun!

[queendiva]

On 3/18/2015 Chrystaltree said:

She's a friend, I don't understand why you didn't say something while you speaking. But you didn't. So, since you are already bringing dessert, I would bring a chicken breast or pork chop for myself and explain that I brought my own meat because I don't care for corned beef. I would not fake it! That's rude and insulting and wasteful.

OMG- bringing my own substitute for the hostess's entree is what is rude and insulting and would guarantee never receiving an invitation from her ever again!

[RespectLife]

On 3/18/2015 Chrystaltree said:

She's a friend, I don't understand why you didn't say something while you speaking. But you didn't. So, since you are already bringing dessert, I would bring a chicken breast or pork chop for myself and explain that I brought my own meat because I don't care for corned beef. I would not fake it! That's rude and insulting and wasteful.

Chrystaltree...she said she received an EMAIL invitation (she also posted the email invite above) They DIDN'T speak.

I don't think it is rude or insulting to try and avoid hurting someone's feelings. Every year I make St. Pats traditional dinner for my entire family. Many years later, I found out my BIL hated corned beef (or any meat that remains 'pink' even when fully cooked). He always just ate the other items and I never noticed. He didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I agree that being honest is best. It is a lot of work and expense as someone mentioned to make a corned beef dinner. I would be sad if I found out later my ONLY guest didn't care for my meal after all that work.

I would offer to bring the pizza AND the dessert! Hopefully, she could reschedule her corned beef for another time for her and her son. If not, at least she will know ahead of time you won't be eating it. If she stills wants to cook it...she probably won't mind then if you bring a sub. At least she knew and won't be shocked. It will be HER option.

[Mj12]

On 3/18/2015 reese2 said:

Assuming that you're really looking forward to her company and the movie, why let one food item stand in the way? I'd never ask if I can bring something for myself rather than eat what she's planned and prepared.

I would put everything I like on the plate and not worry about the corned beef.

Your friendship is worth way more than one meal.

Have fun!

^ this.

[Mj12]

On 3/18/2015 Hoovermom said:

On 3/17/2015 FunkyHulaGirl said:

Well, it's going to be just the two of us (unless her son doesn't have to work and joins us), so I can't really hope she'll get distracted while I feed the food to her dog. Frankly, boiled potatoes and cabbage don't appeal to me either; I think I might just go with the suggestion that I tell her I "can't" eat corned beef, tell her I'd love to spend the afternoon with her, and ask if she didn't mind if I brought something else for me to eat - I could pick up a sub or a pizza or something.

I figure if she already has the corned beef she's going to cook it anyway, so she can have it for a few meals, but I'm not putting her on the spot by expecting her to provide something else for me. Of course I'll bring a dessert.

I would be very careful feeding her dog the food you would not eat. What happens if he gets sick?????

Oh that is such a good point, Hoovermom!

[LeaLeander]

Those are pretty pungent items; not something you can just choke down. That said, it's poor form to, as Miss Manners says, "treat an invitation as the opening salvo in extended back and forth negotiations." You respond to what you are offered and there is nothing rude in declining.

I'd say "I'd love to see you for a movie night but I couldn't do justice to your St. Patrick's Day dinner -- let's plan to get together another time. Why don't you come to my place March 28 for pizza and wine?"

Then she can either say "Sure, see you then!" or "Oh, I know corned beef isn't for everyone; how about if we get pizza this weekend and I'll make the beef dinner on Sunday for myself?"

Etiquette and good manners do not require us to ingest (or pretend to ingest) items that we don't like.

[missy1]

I can't believe all these replies after mine. If she is a friend, you should have emailed her/called/text about your concerns about the menu promptly. That's so she can plan something differently to eat. Did you tell her what type of dessert you are bringing? It's a 2-way street.

I think op was kidding about feeding the dog.

[Andreatoo]

It's not the same but worth mentioning since someone suggested disguising the taste:

Many years ago, and it was actually the club atop the World Trade Center (W.O.W.), my boyfriend at the time, who was the executive chef at an affiliated club, and I were treated to a tour and a meal in the restaurant. This dummy ordered the clams but clearly didn't pay attention because they were raw! I abhor raw clams but since it was comped I had to choke them down quietly. I loaded them up with fresh shaved horseradish!

[mstyrion 1]

On 3/18/2015 Hoovermom said:

On 3/17/2015 FunkyHulaGirl said:

Well, it's going to be just the two of us (unless her son doesn't have to work and joins us), so I can't really hope she'll get distracted while I feed the food to her dog. Frankly, boiled potatoes and cabbage don't appeal to me either; I think I might just go with the suggestion that I tell her I "can't" eat corned beef, tell her I'd love to spend the afternoon with her, and ask if she didn't mind if I brought something else for me to eat - I could pick up a sub or a pizza or something.

I figure if she already has the corned beef she's going to cook it anyway, so she can have it for a few meals, but I'm not putting her on the spot by expecting her to provide something else for me. Of course I'll bring a dessert.

I would be very careful feeding her dog the food you would not eat. What happens if he gets sick?????

^^^This!

Corned beef is rich and fairly highly spiced. Please, please don't feed it to her dog if you decide to go.