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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,208
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

@debc wrote:

@Sooner wrote:

@feline groovy wrote:

@Karnerblue wrote:

Wow, people can't even accept a nice gesture?  How cynical.


 

I know; negative skepticism is alive and well.

And although that's important in some instances, unexpected kindness and generosity is not one of them.

 

Simply take the gesture for what it is; don't think that those gifting you have any ulterior motives.

 

More and more people in this world instantly assume-then-judge, and that breeds a lot of bad vibes.

 

 

I clicked on your avatar, BTW - gorgeous butterfly!


Hold on a minute here.  You are judging me here.  I feel it is an invasion of me to assume that you, as a stranger, are free to pay my bill for me.  I don't want or need your interference in my evening out.  It is an intrusion and an unwelcome one.  To me it is a matter of respect for others.  You can't assume you can do something that affects others and it will be welcome.  You did not ask them.  You instantly assumed then judgedsomething about me.  Just as did the person who would pay for my meal without asking.  It's just wrong TO ME.  And it is my right to feel that way.

 

All of us are wrong to assume so much about others and how t hey feel.


....

Wow 

 


 Double WOW - always negative posts.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,572
Registered: ‎07-29-2012

Re: Our lunch was paid by a total stranger today, RAK!!!! 😊 😊 😊 😊

A few years ago, before cell phones, my car died on a highway in Ct.  It was raining and I started to walk to an exit.  A young man  picked me up, took me to a gasoline station so I could call AAA and then took me back to my car and waited till AAA showed up.  I offered money, but he told me to help someone else instead.  

About a month later I was on a somewhat deserted road and saw a woman with her car hood up.  I gave her a ride home so she could get help.  She was very grateful, I told her my story and to pass it forward.  Many people have benefited from that young man's original kindness to me.

i believe we all benefit from these acts of kindness in the long term and should not read too much into people's attempt to do something good.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,413
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@italia8140 wrote:

@debc wrote:

@Sooner wrote:

@feline groovy wrote:

@Karnerblue wrote:

Wow, people can't even accept a nice gesture?  How cynical.


 

I know; negative skepticism is alive and well.

And although that's important in some instances, unexpected kindness and generosity is not one of them.

 

Simply take the gesture for what it is; don't think that those gifting you have any ulterior motives.

 

More and more people in this world instantly assume-then-judge, and that breeds a lot of bad vibes.

 

 

I clicked on your avatar, BTW - gorgeous butterfly!


Hold on a minute here.  You are judging me here.  I feel it is an invasion of me to assume that you, as a stranger, are free to pay my bill for me.  I don't want or need your interference in my evening out.  It is an intrusion and an unwelcome one.  To me it is a matter of respect for others.  You can't assume you can do something that affects others and it will be welcome.  You did not ask them.  You instantly assumed then judgedsomething about me.  Just as did the person who would pay for my meal without asking.  It's just wrong TO ME.  And it is my right to feel that way.

 

All of us are wrong to assume so much about others and how t hey feel.


....

Wow 

 


 Double WOW - always negative posts.


Again, people have a right to feel how they feel about something without being slammed by others--don't they?  I don't understand what is wrong with having an opinion around here.  Just let us all respect how others feel. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,974
Registered: ‎06-13-2011

When I read the replies to this post I guess I wasn't surprised.   However I do resent being told that I am ungrateful.  You don't know me and you certainly don't know anything that has happened to me in the past.  

 

A few years ago I was shopping at my local Safeway store.  It was in the summer and very early in the evening so it was still light outside.   I came out of the store and there were two young man standing by the door.  One of them asked me if I could spare a dollar because their car needed gas.  I didn't believe their story but I thought I'd give them a dollar.   As I neared my car I felt a presence behind me and within a second the first guy grabbed my arm and the second one pulled my purse from my shoulder.  Their action made me lose my balance and I fell to the concrete and hit my head.   I was so angry that I jumped back up and screamed at them, not a good thing to do, however they were running with my purse and quickly were out of sight.   

 

After a police interview and a trip to the ER and a CAT Scan to make sure that I didn't have any head injuries I had the joy of calling all of my credit card companies to report the theft.  In two hours they had already used my cards at three different places.  Fortunately I didn't have to pay any of the bills.  I did lose the cash that I had in my wallet.  I had about $100.00.  That was my reward for trying to do something nice for someone.

 

So skeptical, you bet I am.  

 

I realize that a mugging and paying someone's restaurant tab is not the same thing.  But it does say that you have to be cautious in life.   Many people are not what they appear to be.   

 

A few of you have offered situations where someone you knew did something nice for you.  I have no problem with that.  I worked in a veterinary office where occasionally someone would come in and help to pay a friends veterinary bill.  That is a completely different story than some random stranger paying a bill for me.   

 

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned is how does the person you are paying this bill for view this RAK?    Yes, most people would just say thank you and continue with their day.  However, as the news stories will confirm, there are many unstable people in the world that would see your kindness as something altogether different.  How many times do we hear of someone trying to help a person and they end up dead because of it.   

 

In conclusion, if you want to help and you can afford a few extra dollars there are many organizations that would benefit from your kindness.   As an animal lover, and in particular a guinea pig lover, I sponsor a foster guinea pig for the OCCH with a monthly check.   

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,407
Registered: ‎03-03-2011

Re: Our lunch was paid by a total stranger today, RAK!!!! 😊 😊 😊 😊

One time when DH and I were out to lunch I saw an elderly lady dining all alone and she looked so much like my Mom (who had passed a year earlier) that as we left we picked up her lunch check but told the waitress not to tell her who did it. As we left she was beaming and looking all around the place trying to figure out who did it. Bet she never guessed us! lol  I hope we made her day. It SURE made mine!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,428
Registered: ‎07-02-2015

I totally identify with the need to be a little cautious and suspicious about overly kind strangers.

 

  If you've ever been hit on by members of the opposite sex in a store or out on the street,  or tracked down and surprised at your office by some fellow who "seemed so nice in the grocery store", you might not feel all warm and fuzzy about seemingly random acts of kindness. 

 

I also felt pretty bad at receiving  all the gifts of items AND money that an elderly widow neighbor kept showering on us after my children were born.  And that nice elderly woman in the ice cream store at the mall,  who was watching me feed spoonfuls of ice cream to my son in his stroller, when  she proceeded to drop a handful of change on our table and left the store before I could open my mouth and decline her graciousness.

 

These kindnesses might make the giver feel good, but I don't feel comfortable being the taker. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,178
Registered: ‎09-02-2010

@Sooner wrote:
Again, people have a right to feel how they feel about something without being slammed by others--don't they?  I don't understand what is wrong with having an opinion around here.  Just let us all respect how others feel. 

.....

 

True and we have equally the right to express our's about your post.  

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,112
Registered: ‎12-08-2014

Re: Our lunch was paid by a total stranger today, RAK!!!! 😊 😊 😊 😊

It's nice but it makes me wonder why a church would pay for lunch for 5 people who don't appear to be in financial straits. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,572
Registered: ‎07-29-2012

Re: Our lunch was paid by a total stranger today, RAK!!!! 😊 😊 😊 😊


@chrystaltree wrote:

It's nice but it makes me wonder why a church would pay for lunch for 5 people who don't appear to be in financial straits. 


 

 

A couple of years ago a woman moved across the street and when I introduced myself she quickly told me that she belonged to a certain church - non-denominational.  

For the next few months she would bring me food gifts on the same day I would find information about the church in my mailbox.  I had to tell her to stop because I had no interest in her church and believed the food was just a friendly bribe to visit the church.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,278
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Our lunch was paid by a total stranger today, RAK!!!! 😊 😊 😊 😊

I think that Sooner has gotten a spanking that she absolutely does NOT deserve.  Her opinion is just as valid as any.

 

I'll go ahead and admit that I got a bad vibe feeling about this (no disrespect AT ALL toward the OP, btw) but I just decided to keep my trap shut.  

 

I'm all for good deeds and the whole 'paying it forward' concept.  But sometimes I get the feeling, NOT related to this particular deed, that for some people it is just all about THEM and not about the person/s on the other end.  I'll leave that at that.

 

But my point is that Sooner had a valid opinion and I think it's wrong to give her grief about it and to imply that she is being negative.

 

To the one poster who implied that Sooner is always negative - REALLY?  Pot kettle black much?