Kind of O/T: Do you feel responsible for keeping e... - Page 2

willdob3 · ‎11-01-2010

No. I do not feel responsible for making everyone else happy. I also do not need to make everyone like me.

But there was a time when my entire life revolved around those things. Thank goodness I worked on my self-esteem and let those bad things go.

Krissie62 · ‎11-30-2013

Not as much anymore, but I have to consciously stop myself, because I easily fall into that role. The thing time and much heartache has taught me is that I don't really have the power to make other people happy, and I will run myself ragged and sell myself short trying in vain to do it anyway. I am still kind to others, but I'm not everyone's Mama anymore, or babysitter, or valet, chef, errand girl, you get the picture. I take responsibility for me and they can be responsible for themselves.

house cat · ‎08-23-2012

Thanks everyone. I'm more like Melindaot.. but I'm working on it.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

On 4/18/2014 happycat said:
No. Because some people will never be happy. When my kids were small, I tried hard to make them happy. Now, they make me happy..... When I was younger, I wasted a lot of time trying to make certain other people happy. Well, some folks just don't wanna be happy and you will wear yourself out trying and not get anywhere. I will say, I do have extended family that I keep at a distance- I would go nuts, absolute nuts if I had to associate with these people on a regular basis.

Some people aren't happy unless you are as miserable as they are. You can't fix that.

Beebee2 · ‎03-09-2010

No, but I do realize that there's a lot of wisdom in the old wall plaque that says:

"If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

So, it's enough just working on ourselves sometimes, and it's probably very important to the overall picture, imo.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Oh goodness, no. I only feel responsible for keeping myself happy. Everyone else should follow in my footsteps tp keep themselves happy.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

I've never been much of a people pleaser as I've lived life on my own terms.

That may sound great but you have no idea how totally po'ed people get when you're not catering to their every whim. ${#emotions_dlg.laugh}$

Holidays used to bring out the dysfunction of a lot of family members. When the focus was on the holiday and not on them....you took the spotlight off them and wow...how DARE you be happy and celebrate!

I cook/bake/clean/shop because I WANT to. It's a labor of love I enjoy. ${#emotions_dlg.wub}$

If you don't want to join in, please feel free to excuse yourself from the day. We'll miss you but we'll be fine without you. Wink

Luvtoshopathome · ‎03-09-2010

Of course I do, I'm Italian and it's the big guilt thing that goes on!

peachesncream · ‎03-13-2010

No.

I try to spread happiness. It's up to others whether they catch it.

BonnieBelle · ‎03-10-2010

YES and I'm tired of it and want MY life back!! I've raised my kids and did everything for 25 years and have sacrificed a lot. We only get one life and I feel like I am wasting mine and have NO life!! And I am made to feel guilty and belittled by my husband whenever I try to express my feelings about it.