Re: DH: Helpful or Useless?

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

On 11/30/2014 Hayfield said:
My DH is wonderful and very helpful. Does he sometimes do things his way and not mine? Sure, but right now as I type, he's decorating the tree since I have to go to work in a couple of hours. Last night I was trying to get my Xmas card done on the computer and having trouble and he came and figured it out after I gave up. I have a friend who has a husband that doesn't like to help much around the house but he's willing to pay anyone else to do it. She always says "he's great at writing checks!".

This describes my DH. He is great at fixing things but when I told him I am not able to do some of the housework and he was going to have to start helping me he hired a housekeeper instead. Fine with me - she does much better than he would have done.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

I guess every person does have their strengths - my DH seems to be able to get stains out of everything and anything. I give him something that has a stain that did not come out in the wash and he takes it out to the garage and when I see it the next time that stain will be GONE. I don't know how he does it but he does every time. I think he has a magic wand out in that garage.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

If a man, husband or otherwise is useless? He was and probably still does have an enabler. Who might that be? I have and will always(when physically able)clean up after myself and my wife and our big furry feline family.xxxx'xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If a spouse or SO is not happy?

hckynut(john)

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

On 11/29/2014 shoekitty said:
On 11/29/2014 chickenbutt said:
I think that some people might not understand the 'constant questions' thing because maybe they don't live with somebody who is always (!) asking questions. It can become annoying. My husband is more of a talker than I and he asks sooooooo many questions sometimes that I really have to keep myself from exploding much of the time.

The thing is, with him anyway, most of the questions are repetitive. I do get tired of answering the ridiculous line of questions and I have been known to ask 'what do you plan to do with that information?'. It's always 'oh, I just wondered'. I guess I don't get it because I don't ask questions unless it's for a specific reason for which I need that information. I have to remember that that is just part of his 'need to talk'.

Hahaha, I do know what you mean. My husband answers questions about 24 to 48 hours after I ask them, or after I have explained something to him. Then when I am stressed trying to do something, he comes in and says, "did you say--?" What was that about so and so"?

OMG, you will not believe this! As I was writing the above paragraph, my husband came in and said, "what was that you were telling me this morning?". I am laughing so hard. I had to read him what I wrote. He laughed and said he has "selective hearing, and delayed hearing as well". I said, "well, it was a quicker response this time. Only 9 hours, instead of a day or two!" LOL!

Ha! Yeah, that can be the other part about all the questions - they don't actually LISTEN to the answer. After a bunch of years of this you realize that whatever you say is just going in one ear and out the other, anyway, so it can become frustrating.

Now that my tinnitus has gotten so much worse I really do realize the 'selective hearing' that he has. He will say 'can you hear that siren?'. Uh, no - I can hear the loud ringing in my ears and I can hear you talking right here. Otherwise I don't hear a single thing. Yet he can hear a siren a mile away.

That brings me to the memory thing - he can remember a play in a football game from 40 years ago, yet he cannot remember to lock the door.

But I digress - I'm not bashing. I'm just being honest and venting. Nobody gets hurt.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

When i was working our doctors would constantly ask us questions about our patients and then not listen to the answers. It was very frustrating.They would ask the same question over and over. Generally, those who repeatedly did that I would not bother to answer and they never even noticed. Eventually they would look whatever it was up on the chart if it was important to them. or they would start bugging the intern - asking them the same question over and over.

HonnyBrown · ‎11-23-2013

On 11/30/2014 chickenbutt said:
Ha! Yeah, that can be the other part about all the questions - they don't actually LISTEN to the answer. After a bunch of years of this you realize that whatever you say is just going in one ear and out the other, anyway, so it can become frustrating.

Now that my tinnitus has gotten so much worse I really do realize the 'selective hearing' that he has. He will say 'can you hear that siren?'. Uh, no - I can hear the loud ringing in my ears and I can hear you talking right here. Otherwise I don't hear a single thing. Yet he can hear a siren a mile away.

That brings me to the memory thing - he can remember a play in a football game from 40 years ago, yet he cannot remember to lock the door.

But I digress - I'm not bashing. I'm just being honest and venting. Nobody gets hurt.

My love can remember every single baseball play, but where is the sweater my Mom gave him for Christmas? Where are his keys?

Get your flu shot...because I didn't.