Kitchen

[LilacTree]

n 3/20/2014 focksie said:

In this day and age, I think it would behoove every woman to focus on her studies in college so that she has the ability to be independent (both financially and emotionally) for the rest of her life.

Absolutely 100% correct. Every girl and woman in our family has been taught this. In fact, two of my girls, now divorced, supported their families and their husbands (and that's why they are now divorced). Good educations, but not smart at picking men.

Unfortunately, the job situation is not cooperating for my granddaughter, who graduated college last year and although she is working, she is underemployed . . . hopefully it will get better.

[Vivian]

My daughter met her husband at their Ivy League college. He was her intellectual equal but they were ill suited in ever other way. Two weeks after the wedding she said she had made a big mistake. Within a year they were divorced. I don't think that going back to 1950s values serves young women today.

[ChynnaBlue]

Is she a time traveler from 1956*? If you go to college and find a husband, good for you, but that's not the reason for going to college.

This woman is setting us all back by decades and it makes me very sad. This isn't what my mom fought for and it's not what I've been fighting for.

*Oh, I just saw her hairstyle. She's clearly a time traveler from the 60s, not the 50s.

[little miss sunshine]

I went to college and, in addition to a degree, I looked over the pool of eligible men whom I would consider husband material. I knew what I wanted in a husband and did find him, not in the college I attended, but from my social circle. My 2 daughters both went to college and I told them that always to depend on themselves, not on a man. Both graduated, have always worked at jobs they love, and have found husbands to their liking (before the age of 30). They know that they will not have to worry about being supported by anyone. And, if the situation arises, they can also support their family. In addition to the degree, they are what they call themselves, "educated women" and I like that. As for "smart", that comes with life experiences.

[willdob3]

Wow. What an awful mindset.

I went to college for an education not a man.

[pinkskates4]

I think many are missing the larger point that it would behoove women to think about what they want in a husband - rather than just go with feelings of the moment - particularly if they are looking for someone who will be a good father to children.

And also to consider where and when they might have the largest selection.

Of course, there are no guarantees that this will happen in college - and she is certainly not advising anyone to "settle" - quite the opposite.

I think it's women who just wait for "magic" who are the dinosaurs - and unfortunately it's primarily their kids who end up paying for it.

[suzyQ3]

I read the interview, and I've read about this woman previously. I think she has "issues," to be kind. She has every right to make big bucks with her angry and divisive words. And I have every right to dismiss her as a crank trying to extend her 15 minutes.

And talk about cheesy -- she puts down men who don't go to Princeton-quality colleges and refers to date rape as "mistake s-ex." Perhaps she might have felt differently had she had daughters.

This is one reason that I tend to avoid any and all such books or articles that purport to be "self-help" guides, especially when they are written with an ax.

[CJC]

On 3/20/2014 bonnielu said:

Interesting post. I am from the generation who did go to college for the MRS degree and a day has not passed that I have regretted that mindset. Good marriage after all these years. Four beautiful daughters and many wonderful grandchildren. And I did have a career for myself along with three degrees. I see nothing wrong with it. I was able to find someone of like mind who valued me as both a homemaker, mother and career woman.

I could not agree more. I guess you and I are relics from the stone age when meeting a guy in college who had intelligence, ambition, values, and character was an admirable goal right along side that degree. Many of my friends and sorority sisters married their college beaus, and none of us are divorced. It's a far cry from what I observe today....serial divorces; children and grandkids with several different combinations of parents & grandparents; celebrities getting pregnant, then thinking about getting married MAYBE and being proud of that; single parents living in poverty; bar hopping & online dating, and on & on. Give me that college guy in my physics class any day!

[lilypad3]

I'd say spend 75% of your time studying. I married my college sweetheart. The education lasted, not the marriage. Young women today need to value their education and not have to depend on someone else to provide for them.

[suzyQ3]

On 3/20/2014 CJC said:

On 3/20/2014 bonnielu said:

Interesting post. I am from the generation who did go to college for the MRS degree and a day has not passed that I have regretted that mindset. Good marriage after all these years. Four beautiful daughters and many wonderful grandchildren. And I did have a career for myself along with three degrees. I see nothing wrong with it. I was able to find someone of like mind who valued me as both a homemaker, mother and career woman.

I could not agree more. I guess you and I are relics from the stone age when meeting a guy in college who had intelligence, ambition, values, and character was an admirable goal right along side that degree. Many of my friends and sorority sisters married their college beaus, and none of us are divorced. It's a far cry from what I observe today....serial divorces; children and grandkids with several different combinations of parents & grandparents; celebrities getting pregnant, then thinking about getting married MAYBE and being proud of that; single parents living in poverty; bar hopping & online dating, and on & on. Give me that college guy in my physics class any day!

There's nothing wrong with meeting your soulmate in college. I met mine when I was still in high school (he was a college guy). It's probably one of the biggest social settings you'll ever be in, so of course you might meet someone.

But that shouldn't be the reason or impetus for attending college. It is, first and foremost, an institution of higher learning, not a matchmaker site.

I guess I think it's a shame for someone to take up a much-desired seat in a classroom if that person is solely interested in the dating material.

As an aside, my mother was of the mindset that college is a waste for girls because they'll just end up married with kids anyway, so what's the point. Thankfully, her point of view spurred me on even more to get into a good university, get a degree, and use it.