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05-19-2023 09:53 AM
We recently went through this with my MIL. It is sad when your precious belongings just get tossed. None of DH's siblings wanted any of it at all and didn't help us either. We kept a few small things and gave my son a bureau but oh my, so much stuff. I do try to streamline and keep things in check........it's hard as DH is a pack rat and wants everything so it does not go over well when it's him and I doing it together, LOL!
Anyway, I try to not pile up things (always have) especially since we downsized a few years ago. We had to get rid of so much stuff it was ridiculous! I don't want to go down that road again or leave it to my kids to deal with. Keep it on light side for them at least.
05-19-2023 09:54 AM
Lots of Books and Beauty products, but they won't be surprised by it....lol!!!!!
I am trying to get better by not buying so many, but I am such an avid reader...
I have gotten much better with Beauty products, but still have a way to go......
05-19-2023 10:10 AM
I have a lot of stuff and often think about decluttering so that DS's won't have so much to do when we're gone. I already know they don't want my China or the zillions of photographs that I have in a tub. My youngest son no longer gives me cards for every occasion because I have every card they've ever given me(among others) including my baby shower cards from 42 years ago! He's always telling me to throw them out and just keep the special ones. Well, they're all special to me! The last time he bought me a card, it was a very large(poster size) card for Mother's Day. He said, "Now you can't save this!"(it's under the dining room tablecloth!)😅 And now, I have a new generation making cards for me to save. My 4 and 7 year old granddaughters! I'd also like the house to be less cluttered for myself. But, when I look around at all that has to be done, I feel overwhelmed and say, "Tomorrow, I'll start!"...Oh well!😂
05-19-2023 10:15 AM
I feel your pain. Thankfully, we have a full basement in this house and DH has his own room full of his collections, which include film editing equipment from his career, hundreds of baseball caps, a giant box of Pez dispensers and I can go on and on. He keeps it clean, but there's just too much stuff. He has a HUMONGOUS size tv there and often invites me to watch movies with him, but the amount of stuff in the room makes it hard for me to relax.
05-19-2023 10:26 AM - edited 05-19-2023 10:27 AM
We just moved across the country for the second time. Both moves together, though 20 years apart, cost us more than $25,000. I gave away my son's piano before leaving California. He hasn't used it since leaving home at 19 years old and he's 36 now. DH was livid about this and I can understand how he felt, but if you add up what it cost us to move it the first time and what it would have cost this time we could've bought him a new piano. In fact, once his house is built I will buy him a piano if he has room for it.
For years I've been conflicted about what to do with the journals. I posed the question here once and the consensus was that I should keep them. I thought my boys wouldn't be interested, but now that I have a granddaughter I'm mostly glad that I kept them, though I hope she waits until she's an adult to read them because they are painfully honest. Marriage and motherhood are difficult and it's all in those journals. I'm afraid some of it might cause hurt feelings.
05-19-2023 11:26 AM - edited 05-19-2023 06:06 PM
I would write your GD an intro letter about life being in stages and how we grow within those stages. People have personal feelings, sometimes stemming from their younger years, but we all grow and learn through life.
If necessary, wait until she reaches age 21.
I would give anything, anything to have such a treasure from the grandmother that I spent every minute I could with.
05-19-2023 01:05 PM
I don't think there will be any surprises for my heirs. I expect they will call an estate sale service or just hire a dumpster. I am in the midst of downsizing to a house that is half the size of the one I have been living in for the last 20 years. I'm leaving behind some beautiful antique furniture and lots of linens, china and decorative items.
I had planned to have an estate sale, but the owner of the estate sale company never finalized the process, thus I was left in the lurch. I found a house clear-out service which paid me a tiny percentage of the market value of the items, but will save me the cost of a dumpster and mover hours. As my realtor reminded me, time is money when you are approaching prime selling season and delaying the house clean-out to find another estate sale company and waiting for them to hold the sale, etc. would have delayed listing the house for sale by 60 days or so.
I'm just thankful that I have the financial resources and emotional equanimity to absorb the loss,
05-19-2023 01:31 PM
I've done hands on full house clean out 3x and partial assist on MIL's house. I DO NOT want my daughters to deal with my stuff to that degree, so I am sending it out piece by piece as soon as I get tired of looking at it.
The surprise will be the amount of random genealogy notes.
05-19-2023 01:53 PM
I don't know why I concern myself with that issue but I do. I have two step children, no children of my own, and I want to make sure the family pieces stay with my family, and my husbands stay with his family...and if they are not interested the step daughters can have my family items.
I have photographed and printed out all the furntirue in the house, so the kids know what is what, that way there will be no issue as to what piece goes to what family. There is a description of each item and when we purchased it.
I did the same with my jewelry...I just wanted to have in inventory of what I had. The kids will just laugh when they see what I have done
I also have started taking apart photo albums. Each family will get a box of their family photos, otherwise, am sure the albums would have just been pitched.
I like to be organized.
05-19-2023 02:00 PM
I guess my daughter, DIL and grandaughters will like the jewelry. As far as anything else, they're all welcome to it. I HOPE they hire a servicee to clean out the rest cuz I wouldn't want any of them to be stuck with that job. Then I assume my son/grandsons would paint it (or have it painted) before selling it. I don't care what anyone does with anything I leave behind cuz I have a mansion waiting for me.
"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." (John 14:2)
I CAN'T WAIT!!!
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