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[PamfromCT]

@Enufstuff 

Dear Donna,

I am so very worry for the loss of your cousin.  Where to begin?

As a Medic in Vietnam Nam, What a hero!  There is no way we civilians can understand the trauma he went through.  I am sure he has earned a high place in heaven.  And then going on to ensure the safety of the public from fires, again, what a hero, yet again.

The sudden passing of someone with no major illness is a terrible shock.  The only plus, as you know, is that he did not suffer.  But the timing, I cannot imagine what his poor wife went through.  I am glad she had some kindly folks to help her through.  Angels sent to support her.

I am also very sorry for your cousin’s wife with all her health challenges.  I can hope and pray she will be helped along by kind people.  So hard with no family at all.  She deserves some blessings - and you certainly are one.

You can take a little comfort that you saw them both in April.  Like you, I have zero interest, and DH too, of moving.  I am happy for those who fulfill their dreams, but we are “New England” people in every way.  Our family is here, and we enjoy the change of seasons, etc.  Neither of us golf, nor are we “beach people.”  

I don’t know what faith your cousin’s wife follows, but perhaps you could consider a book or two of the “Jesus Calling” books.  They are Christian, no specific denomination.

They are a series, starting with the “Jesus Calling” written by Sarah Young.  You can even buy on Amazon.

My friend who lives in Utah started me on these series.  A message for every day, and I have gifted to others who found the book comforting.  I also have more books in the series and like to start my days “in the quiet” with some inspiration.

Just a thought to consider.

I can relate to how you feel, through my own experiences.  I think one of the biggest challenges of getting older are losses of those you love.  

It’s good you have a few girlfriends to chum around with!  Of course, COVID has clipped our tail feathers.  My best girlfriends have moved away - Florida, the Carolinas, Arizona,

Utah - and my volunteer work no more with COVID.  So it is really Home Sweet Home.  I am so thankful we never downsized!  

Will comtinue with Part II next!

Your Pal Pam

[on the bay]

@Enufstuff,

Goodness! I don't know how I missed your post.  

Anyway I really enjoyed reading about your connection with all of your Native American ancesters!

[Enufstuff]

@PamfromCT 

            Dear Pam,

                    Just now, I checked the Home thread and found that

some of our posts are still here. I'm wondering if the other ones were deleted after I spoke about Julie, at Creaser's Jewelers and

her brother still living in Ukraine.

   Whatever the reason, I just decided to come back here and try again. In the last post, I read how you went back to finish your degree. That was wonderful that you were able to do that.

It is not easy to do while raising a family and taking care of a house.

   I tried to do that after the first three children. I took Psychology and Sociology and I loved it. At that time I was

also thinking that I would like to do social work. Then I had two more children and helped my husband when we opened

his print shop. I did that for a few years and then he bought a building with two shops.

   Then I opened my gift shop that morphed into an antique shop, in the other half of the building that he bought. I did that for a few years, during the children's school hours, and weekends.

    My sister in law, who is from China, worked as an interpreter

in the Chinese community in Boston. She was involved in social work in the community and she told me of some incidents that she encountered. She had to testify in court in a

couple of nasty child abuse cases. She was being stalked and threatened and decided that she would not stay in that field of work. She ended up working for M.I.T. as Director of Human

Resources. She retired the same month I did.

    After hearing her stories, I lost interest in following anything in social work with families.

    Raising a family, I was always concerned with good nutrition in feeding them and I read a lot about healing through nutrition. I thought that I would like to learn more in that field.

   At 35 I enrolled fulltime in a Food Science and Nutrition degree

program. I started out in the Nutrition courses and after working my required 1000 hours at a hospital in the dietary office, I decided that I did not really want to work in a hospital.

So I finished my degree and doubled majored in Food Science Technology. I had loved microbiology since high school.

   It worked out well, since all my children were in school, with

my youngest son being 8 years old. I would be home when the youngest two got home except for two days a week, when I had afternoon labs. I had arranged all my other classes for mornings. Then I worked at a private chemical and analytical lab for seven years, part time and after my divorce, full time.

   I loved the work, but I was watching the declining years of

a lab that began in the 1920's, by the director's father. At one time there had been 12 employees doing analytical work for

the many food companies in the Boston area. Most of those companies had moved out of the area over the years.

  He was down to just two employees, a chemist and myself doing the microbiological work. The director was in his late 70's and we could see that he was losing interest. He was not getting reports out to clients in a timely fashion. He had not paid the yearly fee to have dairy accounts and keep my Babcock license to do that work. At one time, I was doing the work for Columbo Yogurt and we lost that account.

   We were doing the micro for The Boston Sludge Project for the MWRA, Louise's Raviolo Co., 15 Purity Supreme Supermarkets and for Au Bon Pain. I also did a lot for smaller companies and water analysis for private customers.

When we had our electricity shut off one day, and then one of my paychecks bounced, I knew that my future was not with Werby Labs.

   I got a job at Kayem Foods and still worked part time for Werby. I loved working there, but there was not enough work

to keep me busy. I would bring something to read or something to sew. I knew the the director would not build the business up again. He never had any children, so no one to take over.

  It is a good thing that I left there. The next year, the director was on vacation in New Mexico and he died. That was the end of Werby Labs.

While I was working at Kayem, my friend encouraged me to take the Civil Service test, for job security and a pension. Now as a single, divorced mother, I did that and got a job in the city

school department. That was the job I retired from. I did miss the lab work and felt that this job was rather mindless. But it did provide a pension and that was what I worked for, for 32 years.

 It was through a school department co-worker that I met my present husband. After being single and working two jobs, for 8 years, I remarried and that was 30 years ago.

  Now, I'm tired and don't have much ambition to do anything.

I think that I used up all that energy and enthusiasm, when I was younger. I'm no longer that creative bundle of energy that you imagined.

   Right now, I'm tired from typing, so I'll stop here. Respond when you get a chance. No pressure. Now is a busy time, getting ready for Thanksgiving. Have a lovely holiday.

                                              Your friend,

                                                         Donna

[PamfromCT]

@Enufstuff

Hello Donna!

Wishing you and your family the happiest of Thanksgiving!

I have been a baddie here, commenting on certain issues in the news...can’t be quiet.  So, so sick of bad news that did not have to happen.  Of course, The NY Times has yet to contact me with a job offer.

How have you been?  Hope you are feeling good, as well as your family.  Of course, when we are home and not going much of any place, it cuts down on some illnesses.  

I will say you have an outstanding biography!  Wow!  You have done it all, and very well, to be sure.  And mothering five children, I don’t know how you did it.  That in itself is a job and a half.  Kudos to you!  And, of course, so many skills and interests you found time to pursue.  Wow, did you ever sleep?

My biggest challenge was my son, the second child.  When he was in first grade he was diagnosed with “mild”? Hyperactivity.  Fortunately, a friend of my mother’s was a teacher in her younger years and steered me to thinking about his diet.  I read and believe in Dr.Feingold’s theory that artificial flavors and colors can cause hyperactivity in children.  The doctor we brought him to wanted to give him medication, but I wanted to try the diet.  Well, it worked.  people can’t believe how much artificial stuff is in our food supply, but I found clear foods.  

He did cooperate, because if he ever sneaked something at school, I could immediately tell.  So he had to go to his room 

for a while.  I did find some treats that were ok - Reese’s Peanut Butter cups had vanilla rather than the artificial vanilla, so it did not affect him.  They have little hyperactivity in Europe, I have read, because they don’t add junk to their food to save money, etc.

He eventually grew out of it, Thank heaven.  I only had two children, but was crazy enough to have natural childbirth.  The choices are so much better nowadays!

We are going to our daughter’s house for Thanksgiving.  My brother, as well as our son and his family are also coming.  And of course, our son-in-law’s Dad.  I have heard he is doing less well, and it breaks my heart.  

Next Tuesday we are going to southern CT, where my uncle is in assisted living.  My mom’s much younger brother, who will be 90 next month.  I have a CD player and radio, hardly used, to give him.  And then we are taking out to his favorite little restaurant for lunch.

He and his late wife (a real sweet woman) had one child, a daughter, who lives a state away.  She and my uncle are estranged, and I don’t know why.  He is a very nice man and does not talk about it.  It makes me so sad.  

But it looking forward to tomorrow, as folks have had all shots, and I am hugging no one.  I am sure I have told you that daughter and her hubby love to cook and entertain.  They married later in life, both for first time, so sadly no children.  They have two kitties, though, who are adored.

My best wishes to you!  Oh, you might notice In my posting that I believed we should “Beat swords into ploughshares.”

Yes, if only we could.

Take care, Dear Donna!

Your friend,

Pam

[Enufstuff]

@PamfromCT

Dear Pam,

It seems like forever since I posted to you. I hope that you had a nice Thanksgiving. It is very sad that your daughter in law's

father is doing poorly. How was he on Thanksgiving?

We had a quiet holiday, just three of us. After spending two

days in the kitchen, baking and cooking, I paid the price. My right knee that has been bad for the past two years, really acted up. That is why I have not spent time sitting at my desk and on the computer.

After the weekend, the pain was so intense, I called the doctor's office and they got me in the next day for a cortisone shot. They fitted me with a new brace and I have been walking with a cane.(I'm feeling so elderly) Of course, the doctor reminded me that I need a knee replacement . I told him that I

just want to get through the winter, hoping that the cortisone will help. He wrote up orders for physical therapy. I have not called yet to set that up. I think that the cortisone is starting to

work, I didn't wear the brace today, just used the cane.

I really don't want to have surgery, but I think that I don't have a choice. I'm thinking that spring would be a better time

to do it. If there is a better time. I have had problems with anesthesia and I'm nervous about any surgery.

How was your visit with your uncle? I hope that he liked the CD player and radio. It was so nice of you to take take him out for lunch. He must have enjoyed your visit.

I missed whatever you were referring to (commenting on certain issues). Did you have posts deleted?

I'm so glad that Dr.Feingold's diet worked for your son. I also read about him when I was raising my children and they were not happy about my refusing to buy them blue or chocolate cereals that they saw advertised. I tried to give them nutritious

fresh foods, without artificial colors and flavoring. Learning a lot from reading about proper nutrition was what lead me to

pursue a degree in Food Science and Nutrition.

It seems that we lived in an era when as mothers and homemakers, we needed to do more with our lives. Many in the generation before us seemed to be fulfilled by being mothers, wives and homemakers. Of course there were women who needed to work to support their families, but there were not as many choices open to them as there were for our generation.

Women could be teachers, nurses, secretaries or nuns. Some worked in retail or service industries or factories. In the 60's it was still difficult for women to get into medical school, even veterinary school. My best friend from high school was a super brain. After graduating from Tufts University, she wanted to go to veterinary school. In Boston,women were not being accepted. She had to go to Colorado to become a veterinarian. Then she decided to go to law school in California, so she could work for animal rights. She became a lawyer and has been in California ever since. She is still a veterinarian and her practice is in Sacramento.

We were both fortunate to find something fulfilling to do

outside of homemaking. I'm thinking that you may have felt as I did , that need to do more, to achieve more, to do something that mattered. Not that raising children didn't matter, but I always had the feeling that I should do more with my life.

It was wonderful that you found volunteer work to be fulfillment for you. I'm sorry that has been lost to you, at least for now, since covid. I hope that it will go away. We have lost some freedom to live carefree. If not from covid, but also with

all the crazies and violence out there. I feel like we are not totally safe anywhere. My sister in law has anxiety to go out alone, since there has been violent attacks on Asians. We have not seen it around here, but things can happen anywhere.

Monday, I took her to Barnes and Noble and then we went to

Legal Seafood for a nice lunch. That was when my knee pain turned extreme. We parked in front of the restaurant and I could barely move my leg to get out of the car. After about five minutes, I finally got my leg out and I had to hold on to her to walk. I had to laugh and made some silly comment about her assisting "the elderly". She suggested not going to lunch, just go home. I told her, that it was still going to hurt at home and we were already there.

We did have a nice lunch and the knee doesn't hurt while sitting,just while walking. That day, I knew that I will have to

give in to surgery. But, I hope that cortisone will be effective enough to delay it until spring.

I don't know how it is where you live, but when I go into a store, I am the only one wearing a mask. At the doctor's office

and dentist, people working have masks. Remember when most were wearing masks and it was reported that there were fewer

people getting the flu? Well flu season is here and most people are done with masks. On the news, it was reported that the hospitals are filling with flu patients, the highest number in 10 years. Has everyone forgotten how masks prevented flu? There

just seems to be no common sense. I do not get the flu shot, so I will continue to wear a mask and try to avoid crowds.

We did get our last booster in November. I had a headache for five days after that one. I've had a bad reaction to the flu shot, so I don't get it. I won't get the shingles shot either. I'm so sensitive to medications, injections, anesthesia, even a tetanus shot. Years ago, when I had an injection of IVP dye, I almost didn't come home that day. So I'm very apprehensive when it comes to putting chemicals into my body.

It makes me sad, that I don't visit any of my great grandchildren. My grand daughter and her husband are anti-vaxers and have not vaccinated their four children for covid. The 16 month old has been sick with RSV and an ear infection.

She is getting better.

The other ones are out there working and some have had covid recently. The little ones are in school and they are exposed to everything.

It is sad that we can't have the big Christmas gatherings as we did before covid.

Aside from that, Katie had her mani-pedi at the vet's. She cried all the way there and all the way home. They took her and clipped her nails in about three minutes. She was probably too scared to protest. She knows that when she screeches, I

stop trying to clip them. Like you said in the other post , about animals having a 6th sense, When I went downstairs, to get the carrier, I could not find Katie. She had hidden herself under the living room couch. My husband had to pull her out.

How is your Winston? If he is anything like Katie, he is probably finding the warmest, cuddliest spots to curl up for naps. We don't have a cat bed for Katie. She has a place to sleep in every room of the house.

I hope that you have been well and stay safe from all that is out there. Take care.

Your friend,

Donna

[Enufstuff]

@PamfromCTI don't know what happened to all my indenting

and spacing between paragraphs. in above post. It is harder to read.

[PamfromCT]

@Enufstuff 

Hello Donna!

Sorry it has taken so long for me to get back to you,  it I have been praying for the best way to respond to your knee torture the right way.  I have a big mouth and can be very bossy.

I respond to stuff here on the fly, as they say.  God gave me a big mouth, and hopefully He forgives me.  Never been a wuss.

You have been gifted with bravery and grace, on the other hand.  

Our Thanksgiving was not great.  Our GS was sick, so their family could not go.  And our Tony, who is struggling more and more to breathe, upsets me so much.  

Then - too much to get Into - our DD and DS had a big argument, which makes me sad.  Our son has a temper and never knows when to be quiet.  

On the positive side, DH, DB, and I are going to visit our Uncle tomorrow before the storm.  I ordered some things for him,  but the new parka has not arrived yet!  But other things for him, which will make him happy.  He just celebrated his 90th.

We will ame it a “safe” visit.

You are so right about all the illness going around.  And I see that COVID is up again in China.  And so few folks got flu shots.  Guess they are sick of shots, but viruses never get tired.  

So so we made our Christmas donations, sent packages to a few folks who need extra love, and gave GC $ to buy what they want.  Of course, GS’s BD is in January, GD’s in February.  

We did get a few extra littles for the kiddos, mostly from Amazon.

I dohope, Donna, that you strongly consider your knee surgery.  I know you are leaning toward it.  When I read about your pain, I have felt so badly for you.  Pain is a destroyer.  I remember what I went through with my back.  And to a person like you, full of energy and interested in so many things, it is even worse.  

Speakkng cor myself, I do realize that we are all living longer.

So we are all faced with challenges and concerns.  Last spring, I remember thinking I was doing so well.  Well, bingo, I got bronchitis, took antibiotics, thought better.  Nope, it came back, then treated with high voltage meds.  Yes, I am better, but I am not as well as before.

And the. The radiologist who took my chest x-ray noted something he suggested be checked out.  A cardiac issue.  A very long story short, I have a “small” leakage in a valve -whatever - in my heart.  Inherited from my mom.  My old cardiologist’s tests revealed this and never told me.  But the good news is that it has remained the same for 10 years.  So I have a new cardiologist with an excellent reputation, connected with the best heart treatment hospital in our area.  DH switched to him, and is very happy.

New doctor says, “I think you are in good shape for a woman your age.”  Well, I don’t think so.  Oh well.  I still have places to go and people to see.  And you are younger than me, and you have the same zest for life.

It is also interesting that we both share a strong admiration for women who have taken advantage of opportunities to find ways to contribute along with raising their family.  It can be challenging, but so worth it.  

And, like you, I mask up.  Why not?  We both have much to live for.  

Wishing hou you all the best!  If your knee is bothering you, please consider takeout!  We both have to remember to pamper ourselves a bit.  

Please know now how much I care.  If you are very busy - which I assume - Have a Merry Cnristmas!  And Winston sends his best to Katie!

all my best,

Pam

[Enufstuff]

@PamfromCT 

                         Dear Pam,

  It is so nice to hear from you. I'm feeling a little sad today, thinking about all the wonderful past Christmas holidays with family.  My mother and grandmothers made it so magical as I did for my five children, when they were young and also for the six grandchildren. I also taught them about the Nativity, so they knew the meaning of Christmas.

  So many in our family are no longer here. My mother passed away in 1990, when she was 64. She had four sisters and only one is left. She is 92. My mother got to see her first great grandchild. Four cousins passed away over the last two years.

  Last week at the cardiologist's office, it hit me when he asked about my grandchildren. I just started crying and told him that

I miss seeing the little ones. I'm not a person who cries easily, about everything. (Well, maybe when I hear Andrea Bocelli sing Ave Maria).

  With half of them not vaccinated for Covid , most of them have had Covid. Two of them were sick just last month.

My grand daughter's 16 month old was sick over Thanksgiving

with RSV and ear infections. Thankfully, she is okay now.

  I had thought and hoped that Covid would be gone by now and that things would be back to normal.

   The other six little ones are in school and exposed to all the winter viruses now. I don't feel that I can visit them. My oldest

great grand daughter had her 12th birthday on the 14th. This was the first time I gave her money for her birthday. I gave her card to my daughter, to give to her. Most likely, I'll give my daughter all the gifts to bring to her grandchildren. They live in another city.

   My daughter in law, who had been hosting Christmas for the

whole family, for the few years before Covid, is cautious and not doing it this year either. The family has grown to 26 people. She works for a company that runs nursing homes and she is well aware of how Covid has picked up again since fall.

   She, my son and 17 year old grandson will come by for a visit on Christmas. Her parents will be visiting from Florida, so

they will be having dinner with them.

   I'll drop off gifts for the others that live nearby. I had accepted that things change and Christmas is different when children grow up, but this year it has really hit me that we are still not having holidays together.

                                                Enough about me.

                                                           continued in next post

[Enufstuff]

@PamfromCT 

          Dear Pam,

    I'm so sorry to learn that your Thanksgiving did not go well

and that your grandson was sick.  I hope that he is better now and that things are better between your son and daughter .

   Your uncle must be looking forward to your visit. When is your grandson's January birthday? My oldest daughter's is January 4th

and my youngest daughter's birthday is January 13th.

    I'm sorry to hear that you got Bronchitis and are still not completely well. I hope that you will feel better soon. I have only had it once, years ago and I know that it is rough.

    It is hard to imagine that your cardiologist never told you about a cardiac issue. I'm glad that you have found a new cardiologist who you can have confidence in. It's great that in 10 years, it has not gotten worse. Let's hope and pray that it

stabilizes and doesn't worsen.

   You are very complimentary, but I don't feel very brave, when it comes to having elective surgery. On December 1st, I

did get a shot of cortisone and the knee is feeling better. The doctor fitted me for a new brace and it does help if I'm on my feet for any length of time.

    The night before last, I made Pasta e F*gioli, which had many steps and I was on my feet a little too long in the kitchen.

That night, the knee was sore.

     Last night, I made a new to me, traditional French recipe,

Lentils du Puy with Sausages. I wore my brace, while cooking

and the recipe did not seem as involved as the one for the night before. Dinner was different and it was good. I wouldn't want it every week, though.

      Tonight, I am not cooking. The guys can have leftover meatloaf or food from the last two nights. I always say,"Any

night that I don't have to cook, is a good night".

        We do take out, maybe once a month. The prices have increased and take out food for three is so expensive now.

After cooking for a family for 59 years, the "thrill is gone".

When I don't want to cook, I should just have Alexa play that old B.B.King song.

        I have always enjoyed baking, especially for Christmas. I used to make about five different kinds of cookies, a candy and then my breads. This year, I can't stand on my feet for hours to do cookies. I'll just make brownies and 7 layer bars. I'll still make pumpkin bread, my kids favorite.

       Knowing that the reprieve that cortisone is giving me, is temporary, I will have to give in to surgery eventually. Then there will be take out dinners or these two spoiled men will have to cook. I'll probably pre-make and freeze some food, too.

       By the way, Pam, I never got the impression from you that you are bossy or have a big mouth. Your posts to me and others have always been respectful and kind.

        If things get too busy to post, I'll wish you a Merry and Blessed Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year, now.

         I want to have my son help me to post a picture of my

white and pink Christmas tree, one of a wreath that I made

and one of a Toni doll wearing a taffeta Christmas dress that I made. I'll post in Home or Holiday.

        Give Winston a pat and a cuddle from Katie.

         Stay Well & Take Care,

                              Love,

                                  Donna