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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,203
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

On 12/26/2014 Scotnovel said:

No it is not rude. Most everyone I know asks visitors to remove their shoes and no one thinks anything negative about it.

How can you possibly know what other people think?

It's rude to ask a guest to remove any article of their clothing. I don't want to walk bare foot on your floors where people with who knows what foot disease have walked. I don't want to see or smell the feet of other guests. If you are that rude and inconsiderate, do everyone a favor, and don't entertain, don't invite others to your home.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

As far as the request to remove ones shoes when entering a home, and whether it is considered rude by friends, neighbors and acquaintances, it all boils down to what is usual and customary according to the *majority* of residents in the city or town where you live.

The custom is common in certain countries and in certain cultures, yes. If I were to visit those countries I would follow the custom, though it would be physically uncomfortable for me due to musculoskeletal conditions I suffer from. But when in Rome ....

Anywhere in the US, however (with the probable exception of Hawaii), it is NOT the custom of the majority of the population. It is a custom practiced by some people because they want to keep their carpets clean, some to protect hardwood floors, some who believe they have germ issues, and some who feel it marks them out as trendy or upper class, or just because the neighbors do it. Okay, fine, and as it has been said in many posts here, a homeowner can do as they like. But it is NOT the norm just because some folks do it, and it is not odd or rude or tacky to be nonplussed or annoyed when asked to remove one's shoes. To put the "blame" on those who take issue with doing so, for whatever reason, is a cop-out so that the homeowner does not have to consider or acknowledge the feelings of their guests.

I wonder what those so insistent on no shoes in the house would do if the head of the household's boss or company head and spouse was invited to their home and expressed shock/displeasure at being asked to remove their shoes. It is not wise to tick off your job superiors. But I'm sure the Barefoot Brigade would think nothing of it.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,203
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

On 12/26/2014 JJ said:

While I agree with the "your house, your rules" concept, that was not OP's question. She asked if it was rude. And the answer to that is yes, it is rude. There are several legitimate reasons why some people need to wear shoes all the time. And even if it is just their personal comfort, I would never want a guest in my house to be uncomfortable in my home.

I guess I was raised to be a good hostess. A good hostess does not want her guests to be uncomfortable. And I will say, that most guests who are uncomfortable taking their shoes off, will do it anyway if they are asked, and most likely will not say anything to you about it because, they want to be a good "guest".

And frankly, it does not matter what the custom is in Hawaii. Unless you live in Hawaii, the Hawaiian custom is irrelevant.

I'll second the well said.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,646
Registered: ‎07-29-2014

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

I would just have really-effective door mats outside every entrance, for myself and anyone else to use. Really no biggie.

"Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people only from their own experiences."
Super Contributor
Posts: 771
Registered: ‎04-06-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

I don't think it is rude or unreasonable and the reason and traditions of doing this vary for many legit reasons. I have had a lady take her shoes off here and told her to put them back on, I stay on top of my carpeting. I am not above asking them to take it off it need be though. It seems not that important either way. Now if your feet get cold, thats another story.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,721
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

On 12/27/2014 occasional rain said:
On 12/26/2014 JJ said:

While I agree with the "your house, your rules" concept, that was not OP's question. She asked if it was rude. And the answer to that is yes, it is rude. There are several legitimate reasons why some people need to wear shoes all the time. And even if it is just their personal comfort, I would never want a guest in my house to be uncomfortable in my home.

I guess I was raised to be a good hostess. A good hostess does not want her guests to be uncomfortable. And I will say, that most guests who are uncomfortable taking their shoes off, will do it anyway if they are asked, and most likely will not say anything to you about it because, they want to be a good "guest".

And frankly, it does not matter what the custom is in Hawaii. Unless you live in Hawaii, the Hawaiian custom is irrelevant.

I'll second the well said.

I agree with this also! I could never see making any guest that I invite to my home uncomfortable in any way.

The big thing with the OP is not in wanting others to remove their shoes even though it seems in poor taste, but in the need to inform guests prior to arriving at her door that this is the rule at her place. She can tell them to either bring slippers, socks or a pair of clean bottomed shoes to wear so they can choose to either come or not and so they won't be blindsided with this request. and if they choose to come then they can be prepared.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 101
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

On 12/27/2014 occasional rain said:
On 12/26/2014 JJ said:

While I agree with the "your house, your rules" concept, that was not OP's question. She asked if it was rude. And the answer to that is yes, it is rude. There are several legitimate reasons why some people need to wear shoes all the time. And even if it is just their personal comfort, I would never want a guest in my house to be uncomfortable in my home.

I guess I was raised to be a good hostess. A good hostess does not want her guests to be uncomfortable. And I will say, that most guests who are uncomfortable taking their shoes off, will do it anyway if they are asked, and most likely will not say anything to you about it because, they want to be a good "guest".

And frankly, it does not matter what the custom is in Hawaii. Unless you live in Hawaii, the Hawaiian custom is irrelevant.

I'll second the well said.

I will third that. I do have friends where I know wearing shoes in their house would send them over the edge so I know in advance to bring my arch support slippers. But I have had three foot/ankle surgeries and have been told to never be without support on my feet unless I am non-weight bearing or taking a shower. And honestly, the slippers are right by the shower for immediate wearing.

I live in a home, not a house. I have a lovely home and I am not sure what "upscale" means except it seems to me there seems to be a lot of bragging here to use that word.... I live in the real world where lord know what the dogs and kids bring home. I own a steam cleaner and non-toxic cleaners. Feel free to visit me in my house. I can clean after you go home. (past- I clean bathrooms after you all leave too because lord knows what you do in there).

But the question asked was is it rude? Yes. But if you simply can't tolerate it than go ahead and ask. It is your house. But yeah, it is rude - not the most rude I have seen but it is hardly what gracious hostesses do.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 38,108
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

i am with the "it isnt rude" group although most of my friends and family already remove shoes when they enter my home......and i do the same in their homes.

i dont force the issue, but i certainly prefer it.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,607
Registered: ‎09-22-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

On 12/28/2014 memyselfandI said:
On 12/27/2014 occasional rain said:
On 12/26/2014 JJ said:

While I agree with the "your house, your rules" concept, that was not OP's question. She asked if it was rude. And the answer to that is yes, it is rude. There are several legitimate reasons why some people need to wear shoes all the time. And even if it is just their personal comfort, I would never want a guest in my house to be uncomfortable in my home.

I guess I was raised to be a good hostess. A good hostess does not want her guests to be uncomfortable. And I will say, that most guests who are uncomfortable taking their shoes off, will do it anyway if they are asked, and most likely will not say anything to you about it because, they want to be a good "guest".

And frankly, it does not matter what the custom is in Hawaii. Unless you live in Hawaii, the Hawaiian custom is irrelevant.

I'll second the well said.

I will third that. I do have friends where I know wearing shoes in their house would send them over the edge so I know in advance to bring my arch support slippers. But I have had three foot/ankle surgeries and have been told to never be without support on my feet unless I am non-weight bearing or taking a shower. And honestly, the slippers are right by the shower for immediate wearing.

I live in a home, not a house. I have a lovely home and I am not sure what "upscale" means except it seems to me there seems to be a lot of bragging here to use that word.... I live in the real world where lord know what the dogs and kids bring home. I own a steam cleaner and non-toxic cleaners. Feel free to visit me in my house. I can clean after you go home. (past- I clean bathrooms after you all leave too because lord knows what you do in there).

But the question asked was is it rude? Yes. But if you simply can't tolerate it than go ahead and ask. It is your house. But yeah, it is rude - not the most rude I have seen but it is hardly what gracious hostesses do.


I think it is rude but I think if your carpets are more important than your guests that is certainly your right.

Super Contributor
Posts: 403
Registered: ‎09-03-2010

Re: Is it rude to ask visitors to take off shoes at the door if circumstances warrant it?

Absolutely, positively RUDE!!!