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08-29-2019 09:24 PM
I came down with a very bad cold this week. DH is leaving on Tuesday to visit relatives. He has a number of health issues, so traveling can be hard on him. In an effort to protect him from my germs, I separated our adjustable bed to create two twin beds. We slept in them for the first time last night and you know what? It was lovely. No arguments about the covers and no encroaching on my space. I didn't even wake up when he came to bed hours after me, and that's very unusual. Honestly, if it were up to me, I'd leave them this way, but it's not worth hurting his feelings and I know for sure, his feelings would be crushed.
So, I'm not posing a question here... just thought I'd mention it, lol.
08-29-2019 09:35 PM
@house_cat ...I have to agree with you....my dh is a snorer and also 'talks and thrashes' sometimes in his sleep...so years ago when I was sick with a nasty cold I opted to sleep in the other bedroom....never looked back.
As we got older, we don't sleep as well as we once did so I think the separate rooms would have eventually happened. We are both awake a different times during the night now, and no one would get a good nights sleep.
When I got married never in my wildest dreams would I have thought we would be sleeping in separate rooms!! It's not what we wanted but that was the best solution for us.
Hope you are feeling better, summer colds seem to be the worst.
08-29-2019 09:43 PM
@house_cat , why not propose a trial, say a month of the split beds. Talk it over not as rejecting him, but embracing an idea promoting better sleep. Acknowledge DH’s feelings or objections, point out a couple of positive aspects like you’ve mentioned, propose a month of tryout and then candid, open-minded reviews in 30 days.
If he admits to greater comfort, but feels it’s less romantic, or less cuddly or less “inviting”, it’s a valid reason to going back to one bed setup. But if you both find your way to better sleeping and there are still gentle fun means to marital fulfillment, it might be worth continuing. Sleep is important.
It’s only a discussion. A healthy partnership can accommodate a discussion without trampled feelings. Yield as needed, but worth the ask.
I hereby readily agree, offering my opinion is an overreach. Separating beds is very personal.
08-29-2019 09:48 PM
08-29-2019 09:52 PM
@house_catYour post reminds me of a very funny episode of King of Queens, where both characters came to the same conclusion you did!
Wow! That's funny! DH and I both grew up in Queens. Maybe I should find the episode and just "accidentally" watch it with him 😉
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