Home and "Family"

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

Maybe some of you have gone through this. I have a death (FIL) that me and my husband are going through. I'm referring to the paper work to die (lots), paying any outstanding bills, getting the ceremony ready, and all the legal items and the household goods dispersed. NO HELP FROM THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LATE FIL. They didn't help at all nor lift a finger last year when the MIL passed away last year either. Their own mother. They disappear when we need them.

I'm tired and worn. Those daughters are 65 and 63 years old - no Spring chickens. I would think that if they loved their mother, some small effort would be made. None has been, none will be.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

I'm sorry for your loss. I've been through this, and if there is any consolation at least there is no fighting over details. Sometimes death brings out the worst in people.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Perkup · ‎03-09-2010

Been there, done that. I have lost everyone in my family older than me, but was lucky in an odd sort of way that I am an only child. No help for me, but none of the "family frustrations" either. My former husband, however, had two half sisters, who were consumed with lack of interest during the work phase and greed during the division of assets. There was never much to divide, but they did everything they could to get the lion's share of whatever was left.

I truly sympathize with your situation, and hope that you will stick with your DH through the coming months - I am sure he will look back with gratitude when everything is done. Nobody ever said life was going to be easy.

Marsha2003 · ‎03-12-2010

My sympathies for your loss.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

My DH's family member died recently, and she lived in the same small town we do. Her children and grandchildren all live thousands of miles away. Now that her house is sold the family keeps wanting to give all her things they can't emotionally let go of to us because they don't want to pay to ship things but they want to keep them in the family.We live in a small villa and don't have room for any furniture or other large items, we will store smaller things that can go up in the attic as we don't use that space anyway, but we had to give away a lot of our own belongings when we moved into this place to keep it from being small and cramped.We hope they understand in their hearts that what is precious to them is not to anyone else and we just can't take it on. A different sort of problem for sure than the usual fighting to get things.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@151949 wrote:
My DH's family member died recently, and she lived in the same small town we do. Her children and grandchildren all live thousands of miles away. Now that her house is sold the family keeps wanting to give all her things they can't emotionally let go of to us because they don't want to pay to ship things but they want to keep them in the family.We live in a small villa and don't have room for any furniture or other large items, we will store smaller things that can go up in the attic as we don't use that space anyway, but we had to give away a lot of our own belongings when we moved into this place to keep it from being small and cramped.We hope they understand in their hearts that what is precious to them is not to anyone else and we just can't take it on. A different sort of problem for sure than the usual fighting to get things.

I wouldn't even store the smaller things. You know they will be up there forever if they don't want to pay to ship any of the other things.

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

It's my experience that people disappear because:

1) You might have to ask for a hand meaning physical labor

Or

2) You might need financial help with their final expenses giving them a decent burial.

Makes you feel warm & fuzzy all over knowing they won't even return a phone call.

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

@Snowpuppy wrote:
It's my experience that people disappear because:

1) You might have to ask for a hand meaning physical labor

Or

2) You might need financial help with their final expenses giving them a decent burial.

Makes you feel warm & fuzzy all over knowing they won't even return a phone call.

So very true. Getting up off their backside would be global news. Well, the show is goig o this tuesday ad it will be what it is - criticism comes cheap.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

@ Celtic Crafter and 151949

Today their aren't many folks who are under 50 who want trikets. They are a thing of the past. We plan o callig in a charity with a moving truck to come and haul off everything. Maybe some small sector of society might appreciate the dust collectors but not me. It's good to clean up and clear away the clutter. Many photos that make no sense to me are also goin gto be shredded and sent off in the garbage. They are ot wanted by anyone.

Interesting how things are seen today.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
@ Celtic Crafter and 151949
Today their aren't many folks who are under 50 who want trikets. They are a thing of the past. We plan o callig in a charity with a moving truck to come and haul off everything. Maybe some small sector of society might appreciate the dust collectors but not me. It's good to clean up and clear away the clutter. Many photos that make no sense to me are also goin gto be shredded and sent off in the garbage. They are ot wanted by anyone.
Interesting how things are seen today.

I'm not talking about trinkets - they want to give me rooms of furniture. Thanks but no thanks.

My DH the semi hoarder has a drawer full of wedding pictures and he doesn't know who the people are but he absolutely refuses to throw them away. I bet someone wonders where their wedding pictures went. They are from WW11 era.