Home

[JeanLouiseFinch]

My DH had a procedure done yesterday so he's not to do anything strenuous for a few days.   I did get a few things taken off the family rooms walls.  I think we need to have a better plan though, to systematically complete a room at a time rather than haphazardly jump from one thing to the next because it's something we can see and do immediately.  

[JeanLouiseFinch]

I just hauled a kitchen garbage bag full of random skincare and "beauty" items out to the trash.  I should have done that a long time ago.  Still not done.  I hate the thought of money wasted but that's in the past and I'm moving on. 

[tsavorite]

I have a donation of candles plus some kitchen pans....everything is new.  I will never burn these candles and just need to pass them on to someone who would enjoy them.

Tomorrow is drop off day...still looking around for items that are new or barely used to drop off.

[gidgetgh]

I've mentioned this over the years here, so it's time for my seemingly annual post. 

I'm a really good de-clutterer. I don't struggle with it much.  But....I always struggle with items I've received as a gift and I don't care for the item. I really don't keep things just to keep them but it makes me feel guilty and have angst when I receive something I know isn't my taste or I won't use.  I'm really not a put it in a closet and let it sit there for years person. That goes against my nature. THAT gives me mild angst. 

How do you all handle this?  If you donate, do you wait a specific amount of time so you'll feel less guilty?  I have some items I'd like to part ways with and I just can't seem to do it. In total, it really doesn't amount to all that much in terms of numbers of items, but boy do I feel guilty.

Anyone want to weigh in with opinions on this?

[Coastalcarolina]

@gidgetgh, I started years ago telling those that wanted to exchange gifts or simply giving one to me, no.  Just a hard no.  No exceptions.

I explained that I was de cluttering, I had no more space for items.  Unless it was food or a disposable item, no more.  If they didn't believe me, I took them on a tour of my home. (Family).  If others didn't respect my wishes, in the trash or donation pile it goes.

Respect yourself and what you want in your life.  Tell them that is what you really want.👍

[gidgetgh]

---

@Coastalcarolina wrote:

@gidgetgh, I started years ago telling those that wanted to exchange gifts or simply giving one to me, no.  Just a hard no.  No exceptions.

I explained that I was de cluttering, I had no more space for items.  Unless it was food or a disposable item, no more.  If they didn't believe me, I took them on a tour of my home. (Family).  If others didn't respect my wishes, in the trash or donation pile it goes.

Respect yourself and what you want in your life.  Tell them that is what you really want.👍

---

@Coastalcarolina - well......I hear you. But, 2 of the items showed up out of the blue and an out of state family member had made them for me.  We never had exchanged gifts before. She makes things and sent me 2 so there was really no way of stopping that because I didn't know the items were coming. Same with a gift I received a few months ago from an old friend, from out of state. Out of the blue. These 2 people have no idea that I live a pretty lean life possessions wise. They'd have no way of knowing. They just wanted to do something nice for me. And, if it makes any sense, I appreciate the thought, that they thought of me, way more than the actual gift. I appreciate the effort they made. To me, THAT'S the real gift. 

It's a little tricky because, since my husband died and I'm alone, I celebrate literally one holiday all year, Christmas. That's it. And I still enjoy giving gifts for that. I have no ego. If you don't like a gift I give you, do with it what you will. Since I celebrate only one holiday, it's nice that someone thinks enough of me to give you something. But sometimes, it's something you don't like. So, I can either live with it or say no gifts to me ever, but that makes me a little sad to be honest, on a grander scale than just the gift. 

My sister and I have already talked about Christmas for this year and cutting back some on the gifts and I'm all for that, but I don't want to cut it out all together- makes me too sad. 

i appreciate you commenting. 

[Coastalcarolina]

@gidgetgh, I understand.  Everyone has different situations in life.  I still have family and my DH.  So I can see that one size doesn't fit all.  Well, if they are out of state, could you store them for a time, and then donate?  If you know they aren't coming to visit, maybe they will never know.

You could possibly mention next time, due to your lifestyle changes, that you love a pretty bouquet of flowers.  That's what I did.  It made me think of them.🥰 good luck.

[lynnie61]

@gidgetgh   I love your lean lifestyle.  Many friends and family, we have asked to REALLY cut back on gifts.  Like you, I also won't go to NO gift, because, yes, it makes me kind of sad.  Family and close friends, we try to get a useable gift (coffee, tea, a food item, that WE know they enjoy).

Our gifts are starting to be a lunch together, maybe a theatre show, a gift card to a garden center, or an event, etc.  We ALL have too much stuff.  I do have a friend that still gives random stuff, and I've asked that we stop.  In that case, I don't have a problem donating. We (this friend) talk about decluttering, then a big bag of random stuff.   I'd rather spend an hour or two to catch up and  enjoy a meal together.  

As for out of town people, it would go in the donation pile.  Homemade items would be a little harder for me.  

[amyb]

Started the process of looking at new flooring again and it went well...I like the place I decided on, which was who I started with pre-Covid, then things got shut down and put aside for these past years that flew by. Determined it will finally get done now!! I'm so ready for this old carpeting to come up and hardwood to be put down!! Everything else (but kitchen) is up to date, but the flooring drags it down! Now to pick a wood color....and type of wood, and size of plank, so many options!! But like everything, it's a process....step by step, just move forward, it gets figured out eventually!!The guy from store is coming to measure and talk more today. Yay!

I know that's not a decluttering thing, but part of why I've been on a tear to get rid of more stuff, is knowing I want to do these updates, and want to have less un-needed stuff around as I refresh.

Yesterday I did a lot of papers in my office, filled the shredder, organized my desk with what needs to be looked at and actioned next. Went through and shredded 2024, '25 statement files. More paper to do, but made a good dent to get things in order yesterday, and rid of junk on my desk.

Tossed one more book, not donate worthy.

Doing more try-ons at some point...I do have a "summer" appt. on July 8th with the new consigner, so setting aside anything I may have for then...so far 3 items and pretty sure one more dress will be added to it. Got plenty time to get things together for then.

Happy weekend, declutter peeps~keep on keepin' on!

[amyb]

@gidgetgh I totally get your dilemma, and I love the advice you've already been given, though maybe not totally a fix for you, in particular.

What I heard loud and clear in your posts..."it make me sad" to "stop with gifts entirely" and I totally feel that for you...so please don't just stop. Celebrate Christmas, give the gifts, and "trim back" as you need to. If someone, like your sister or friends are close by, I love the "experience ilo a thing" solution. I've always loved spending on experiences more than "stuff", but particularly at this stage, where I'm not in "accumulation" (especially of random stuff) mode. A time of life when precious time spent with loved ones has taken priority.

With your husband recently gone, and you still adjusting to what that means in terms of your celebrations and lifestyle...don't take out anything that makes you feel sad or like you're "stopping everything" in life.

As for the recent random gifts...if you don't see these people, it really won't matter...though like someone else said...the homemade thing I'd keep a while, try to use in some way. They really meant well, and did what they thought would be something special for you. THAT is the most important thing to treasure in that "thing", more than the thing itself. So I'd keep it a while. Without knowing what it is, hard to say more than that...but I'd try to use it a while, or display it maybe for just a bit to think of their thoughtfulness sending it to you. If you take all that away I can see why it'd make you sad...don't be so quick to discount it all yet. 

Try not to fret it too much. As for your lean life and not wanting these things to infringe on that...again...if you're not going to be seeing these people, you don't have to display those things. If it's just a store bought item you really don't like, appreciate their thought, but I wouldn't feel you have to hold onto it. The homemade thing I'd keep a while and treasure the effort in their making & sending their handiwork to you.

I hope that makes sense and helps a bit. I know you'll feel it out for yourself. But don't do what makes you sad. ❤️