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[lynnie61]

@amyb   You just weren’t ready, it’s ok!    The coat sounds lovely, and you have fresh memories about it’s last wearing, etc.  it’s ok, maybe next year you will feel different.  22 years later, I have one denim shirt my mother loved.  It had embroidery around the yoke, and she loved it.  

Years later, I try to toss, but it’s my only piece of her clothing I still have. I just can’t part with it.  It’s one hanger.  It still makes me smile, knowing how much she loved it.  

[amyb]

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@KBEANS wrote:

@amyb  You did good!  Any chance that you're able to fit into Mom's puffer and wear it in her honor/memory? Or a dear friend that could fit it? 

I ask you because I noticed that if my husband or other son can wear his clothes; I am not at all bothered by it.

As a matter of fact; I wish they could wear everything, but some things don't fit. 

I don't feel bad when his items are worn by them (his loved ones) and then worn out. I just can't bear giving them away to strangers right now. 

Down the road I plan to make a quilt with his favorite shirts. 

I know all this sounds strange...but my grief journey is strange and was so unexpected.

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Thank you @KBEANS!

And as for you...

Not. strange. at all. Not to me, anyway. And everyone, of course grieves differently, is sentimental or not etc.

I mean you don't sound strange, not that your "unexpected grief" is not strange, if that's how it was for you, I'm not discounting that...only commenting on all the other things you mention here that you feel or need to do, or are or aren't bothered by. 

I can't fit in it, I'm more petite than mom was, and right now, no one I know will fit it. So for now...I'll just keep it. What I didn't realize until today, was how it felt to me, as I hadn't taken it out of the closet in a while. When I need that sense memory again...it is there, and that brings me comfort. Mind you...I have other things of hers, some are clothing pieces...that were her favorites, and she looked so pretty in. (I gave tons away, to a woman she knew, who was in dire need, at her assisted living, that made me feel good, and mom would have been happy to help her), but kept a very select curated, small collection of her things.

Mind you...mom and I loved shopping for clothing together my entire life, from when I was a very little girl, we both shared a love of fashion, style. So clothing to some might just be just "a top, or jacket" etc...but to me it's memories of shopping together, or things I know she felt so happy getting and stylish wearing. I have a few of my favorites, that were her favorites, and, to me, were "my mom." 

The jacket just gave me a "cozy, visceral" memory today...so I'm glad I kept it.

Thanks for your suggestions. Best to you on your journey too. 

[amyb]

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@lynnie61 wrote:

@amyb   You just weren’t ready, it’s ok!    The coat sounds lovely, and you have fresh memories about it’s last wearing, etc.  it’s ok, maybe next year you will feel different.  22 years later, I have one denim shirt my mother loved.  It had embroidery around the yoke, and she loved it.  

Years later, I try to toss, but it’s my only piece of her clothing I still have. I just can’t part with it.  It’s one hanger.  It still makes me smile, knowing how much she loved it.  

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Aw...thanks @lynnie61 ....I so "get" that. Don't ever toss that shirt. ❤️

[rnmom]

@amyb - I'm actually glad to hear that you changed your mind and decided to keep some things that you weren't ready to let go of.

I'm all for decluttering items that aren't getting any use and that we don't love, but I sometimes think that we get rid of things that we actually don't want to in the spirit of having to declutter and then we regret it, and I don't want anyone to have regrets.

I don't regret getting rid of many things, but there are a few things that I can think of that I wish I had kept. A couple of things from my childhood, one thing from my grandma who I didn't even know, a recipe box, etc. 

None of it had any real practical value and I know my family would just toss it when I'm dead anyway, but a part of me wishes I had still kept it. 

So anyway, I'm glad you kept it. You will know if/when you are ready to let an item go. 

[amyb]

Thank you so much, @rnmom ...for the validation and encouragement! I agree!

For the most part, in my decluttering, I rid myself of things I no longer need, want, like, use etc, and feel great to let them go and free up space!

But I so relate and agree with you, that sometimes...in the spirit of "I need to get rid of stuff!!", I have tossed some things and later said...why oh whyyy didn't I keep that?! A few sentimental items I let go of when I was at the end of a verrrrrry long, emotional journey of cleaning out my family home to sell. At that point on the last items, as we stood in the garage, with the truck filled to go to a storage unit for what was left and needed to be sorted, but we were out of time.....I made some quick decisions in the garage that day. I was overwhelmed, tired and a bit under the gun.

Nothing earth shattering was let go of...maybe that beaded ornament I made as a girl, that bottle brush Christmas tree...so in style and trending again now, and it reminds me so of my childhood Christmases...a few little such things.

Trust me.....I kept enough to remind me of so much! Lol...but yes, sometimes I want something I tossed, in the spirit of "letting go", or a clothing item I realized...."ohhhh now I'd style it this way, wish I had it!"

Anyway...all to say...thank you. I appreciate your input. That's what we are all here for and I love sharing and hearing everyone's perspective. Appreciate you all here. Happy weekend! 🍁🎃🍂

[KBEANS]

When I get caught up in feeling guilty over something I got rid of; I remind myself that I wasn't using it, it was packed away and not seen, or whatever the issue was that made me think I should get rid of it. 

I don't have that problem with my own things, but when it comes to my deceased love one I do. 
I am in a different mindset now because of it.

My things don't matter so much anymore. That's a good thing I guess. Now, in my mind, there are memories attached to my loved ones belongings and that's what makes it hard. It will always be a struggle! 😞 

This morning my son was saying that he has so much laundry and that he seems to find things he doesn't wear anymore in his laundry bin.

I told him it's time to get rid of those clothes then. "If you're not wearing them, they shouldn't be there for you to fret over."  He just looked at me and I saw the light go off. 😝 

Today, I don't know what I'm going to tackle but it will be something, The place looks a bit untidy. So I will start there.

[2Doods]

This thread is so inspiring!  I collected many boxes and bags for our church's Trash and Treasure sale.  Over 800 families donate and the money is used for missions, local food pantry, and church projects.  I finally donated 3 bags of stuffed animals that I have collected.  I used them to introduce subjects that we were studying in my elementary school classroom.  I've been retired for 16 years! Yikes!!

I also took everything out of our kitchen junk drawer.  Discarded old pens, markers, recycled the many, many notepads, and found 6 pairs of scissors. 

My goal is to find a "home" for things.  I have a tendency to go to the store and buy an item I can't find at home.

[rnmom]

@2Doods - Welcome to the thread! I hope to see more of you here!

[rnmom]

My son gave me a pair of flannel pants that he can't fit into anymore to donate, they look like new.

I tossed a pair of slippers that were past their prime. I had 2 other brand new pairs already here. 

[KBEANS]

We had to dump our Curtis Stone oven.  I broke the glass door on it. I loved this oven!  I don't see it offered on HSN anymore.  It had a great rotisserie feature, and did roast beef and chicken wonderfully.

I have 2  different kind of Ninja air fryers but they don't have the rotisserie feature. 

I refuse to buy a new one at this time. 🤞  I will make due with the appliances I have. 

I can see me kicking myself on Thanksgiving day when I don't have an extra oven for sides...or when I make a frozen pizza.

I was very lazy this weekend and did not do any housework at all.  Good for me!!