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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,097
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?


@Eager2Learn wrote:

I almost cringe when I hear of someone getting rid of candles. I love candles! If I were a neighbor to any of you, I'd probably be standing there with my arms out saying "I'll take them"! Smiley Happy

Anyway, today I wanted to tidy up under the kitchen sink. I found an old sample of Finish Quantum Power & Free. It had a coupon with it that expired 12/31/14. I have to wonder why we set samples aside and never use them.


 

@Eager2Learn

 

Oh I've done the same with samples. 

 

In my mind the are a little back stock for when I run out of something or don't have any money to buy something. Then, 10 years later, I find them stashed in the closet. 

 

I dumped 90% of what I had, as they were way beyond probably being good anymore. And I tend to not keep sample things anymore. If I get them, I either use them up right away or toss them. 

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,948
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

@rnmom  and @mominohio

 

It is a shame that adult children leave their belongings at their parents home. When I moved out on my own soon after I turned 20 into my own apt, everything of mine went with me to my tiny apt...my choice. I couldn't imagine leaving anything back at my parents home. But everyone is different...and that was me about 40 yrs ago.

 

I understand some adult children have certain issues...like going into the one of the armed services straight from high school or if they are still in college, etc.

 

Some parents take comfort their children's things are still in their home. If I was a parent I would be annoyed by it unless it was under certain circumstances. I've read so many posts over the years, watched hoarder's shows and even shows like Clean Sweep of adult children in their late 20's to over 50+ yrs old still have their things in their parents home...LOTS of STUFF...not just a bike or a teddy bear.

 

It's like their kids are using their parents home as a free storage so they don't have to pay monthly for a unit. I even saw a few shows that their kids had most of their belongings in their parents home while their parents had one or more storage units they were paying thousands of dollars on yearly because they had no space left at home.

 

These are extreme cases of coarse, but still eye opening situations. The only time I ever used a storage unit was for 2 weeks while DH and I were settling into a home after we 1st got married and I moved from CT. 

 

I would get no comfort as a parent having my children's clutter around. Dealing with my own was quite enough.

 

I'm sure I'd be attached to many belongings of my children (if I had any), but I would take pics of most of them, make a scrapbook and 'let them go'. 

 

I guess if it was me, I would give adult children a timeline of a year to find a solution. Maybe it would be their 1st time in their own life to learn to purge, give to charity, or if they want to keep everything to still sort through what they really may not even need anymore.

 

The truth is, everyone will do purging/clearing clutter on their own timeline. It is sad that clutter is a taker of mental and physical health. I hated how it effected me and grateful it is over.

 

For those still daunted by the volume of clutter they still have, be rest assured when you clear out all the excess, that stress is gone and you will have peace.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,097
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?


@Susan Louise wrote:

@rnmom  and @mominohio

 

It is a shame that adult children leave their belongings at their parents home. When I moved out on my own soon after I turned 20 into my own apt, everything of mine went with me to my tiny apt...my choice. I couldn't imagine leaving anything back at my parents home. But everyone is different...and that was me about 40 yrs ago.

 

I understand some adult children have certain issues...like going into the one of the armed services straight from high school or if they are still in college, etc.

 

Some parents take comfort their children's things are still in their home. If I was a parent I would be annoyed by it unless it was under certain circumstances. I've read so many posts over the years, watched hoarder's shows and even shows like Clean Sweep of adult children in their late 20's to over 50+ yrs old still have their things in their parents home...LOTS of STUFF...not just a bike or a teddy bear.

 

It's like their kids are using their parents home as a free storage so they don't have to pay monthly for a unit. I even saw a few shows that their kids had most of their belongings in their parents home while their parents had one or more storage units they were paying thousands of dollars on yearly because they had no space left at home.

 

These are extreme cases of coarse, but still eye opening situations. The only time I ever used a storage unit was for 2 weeks while DH and I were settling into a home after we 1st got married and I moved from CT. 

 

I would get no comfort as a parent having my children's clutter around. Dealing with my own was quite enough.

 

I'm sure I'd be attached to many belongings of my children (if I had any), but I would take pics of most of them, make a scrapbook and 'let them go'. 

 

I guess if it was me, I would give adult children a timeline of a year to find a solution. Maybe it would be their 1st time in their own life to learn to purge, give to charity, or if they want to keep everything to still sort through what they really may not even need anymore.

 

The truth is, everyone will do purging/clearing clutter on their own timeline. It is sad that clutter is a taker of mental and physical health. I hated how it effected me and grateful it is over.

 

For those still daunted by the volume of clutter they still have, be rest assured when you clear out all the excess, that stress is gone and you will have peace.


 

@Susan Louise

 

I think unless you are a parent, have loved and raised children, you probably would have no idea what you might feel for their things, what those things might mean to the children, what importance there might be to keeping them for passing down to their children, or which might be less favorable, storing them until they are settled into their own home, or knowing you gave away everything that connects them to their childhood and maybe even generations before that.

 

Not everyone that saves a few tubs of kids toys, a bicycle, and some boxes of books is on tap to be featured on Hoarders, any more than the person with cabinets full of collector glass, or someone with a beanie baby collection. 

 

Some people get on the purge thing, and tend to carry it too far. They end up regretting some things they purge, in what can become a frenzy to just be minimal (often only because it is seen as the 'it' thing to be right now). There have been one or two people here over the years that shared just that sentiment. Some see their purge journey, processes, and outcome as the only thing that is right for everyone, when in fact it will not be. 

 

Parents who have children in their 50's who are still storing their children's things (and there are some that post on here that do) do so because they want to or feel some need to do so, and if they don't want to do it, they need to step up and make the change. 

 

I too am on the quest to weed out almost 30 years of over consumption. I think everyone that participates on this thread is doing the same. The process used, the depth of the purge, the ease or pain felt in doing it will be a unique story for each person.

 

I read here, the various things that others struggle with purging, and even when it isn't something that I struggle with, even when it is something I can easily walk away from, I try not to trivialize their struggle and realize I haven't walked a mile in their shoes, so can't presume to understand why some things mean more to them than other things, or why things in general mean nothing to some others.

 

One person's clutter is someone else's joy. Someone's minimal bliss, is another person's feeling of insecurity and not enough to get by on. It is indeed a very personal journey, and for most, the definitions of these things change in different stages of life. 

 

I won't claim to tell others what will be freeing and create peace for them. I'm just here to share what I'm doing, get ideas from others, and support those in any stage of the journey, not to advocate for more or less than they are ready to live with. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,948
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

[ Edited ]

@mominohio wrote:

@Susan Louise wrote:

@rnmom  and @mominohio

 

It is a shame that adult children leave their belongings at their parents home. When I moved out on my own soon after I turned 20 into my own apt, everything of mine went with me to my tiny apt...my choice. I couldn't imagine leaving anything back at my parents home. But everyone is different...and that was me about 40 yrs ago.

 

I understand some adult children have certain issues...like going into the one of the armed services straight from high school or if they are still in college, etc.

 

Some parents take comfort their children's things are still in their home. If I was a parent I would be annoyed by it unless it was under certain circumstances. I've read so many posts over the years, watched hoarder's shows and even shows like Clean Sweep of adult children in their late 20's to over 50+ yrs old still have their things in their parents home...LOTS of STUFF...not just a bike or a teddy bear.

 

It's like their kids are using their parents home as a free storage so they don't have to pay monthly for a unit. I even saw a few shows that their kids had most of their belongings in their parents home while their parents had one or more storage units they were paying thousands of dollars on yearly because they had no space left at home.

 

These are extreme cases of coarse, but still eye opening situations. The only time I ever used a storage unit was for 2 weeks while DH and I were settling into a home after we 1st got married and I moved from CT. 

 

I would get no comfort as a parent having my children's clutter around. Dealing with my own was quite enough.

 

I'm sure I'd be attached to many belongings of my children (if I had any), but I would take pics of most of them, make a scrapbook and 'let them go'. 

 

I guess if it was me, I would give adult children a timeline of a year to find a solution. Maybe it would be their 1st time in their own life to learn to purge, give to charity, or if they want to keep everything to still sort through what they really may not even need anymore.

 

The truth is, everyone will do purging/clearing clutter on their own timeline. It is sad that clutter is a taker of mental and physical health. I hated how it effected me and grateful it is over.

 

For those still daunted by the volume of clutter they still have, be rest assured when you clear out all the excess, that stress is gone and you will have peace.


 

@Susan Louise

 

I think unless you are a parent, have loved and raised children, you probably would have no idea what you might feel for their things, what those things might mean to the children, what importance there might be to keeping them for passing down to their children, or which might be less favorable, storing them until they are settled into their own home, or knowing you gave away everything that connects them to their childhood and maybe even generations before that.

 

Not everyone that saves a few tubs of kids toys, a bicycle, and some boxes of books is on tap to be featured on Hoarders, any more than the person with cabinets full of collector glass, or someone with a beanie baby collection. 

 

Some people get on the purge thing, and tend to carry it too far. They end up regretting some things they purge, in what can become a frenzy to just be minimal (often only because it is seen as the 'it' thing to be right now). There have been one or two people here over the years that shared just that sentiment. Some see their purge journey, processes, and outcome as the only thing that is right for everyone, when in fact it will not be. 

 

Parents who have children in their 50's who are still storing their children's things (and there are some that post on here that do) do so because they want to or feel some need to do so, and if they don't want to do it, they need to step up and make the change. 

 

I too am on the quest to weed out almost 30 years of over consumption. I think everyone that participates on this thread is doing the same. The process used, the depth of the purge, the ease or pain felt in doing it will be a unique story for each person.

 

I read here, the various things that others struggle with purging, and even when it isn't something that I struggle with, even when it is something I can easily walk away from, I try not to trivialize their struggle and realize I haven't walked a mile in their shoes, so can't presume to understand why some things mean more to them than other things, or why things in general mean nothing to some others.

 

One person's clutter is someone else's joy. Someone's minimal bliss, is another person's feeling of insecurity and not enough to get by on. It is indeed a very personal journey, and for most, the definitions of these things change in different stages of life. 

 

I won't claim to tell others what will be freeing and create peace for them. I'm just here to share what I'm doing, get ideas from others, and support those in any stage of the journey, not to advocate for more or less than they are ready to live with. 


 

@mominohio  I will just say that although I never had children, my understanding of having children, my maternal desire to have them was no less than any mother/parent who had children of her own. I couldn't conceive. The Lord had other plans for me.

 

We couldn't adopt because I was too old. We got married when I was 40. We spent 2 yrs going to specialists. Then I was 42. I was then too old to adopt unless it was through adoption agencies out of the country. That was fine. However, we didn't have the tens of thousands of dollars and the luxury of having jobs that would allow us to travel out of the country frequently through the long process.

 

To me, you saying I don't know what it's like to have children is the same to me as someone telling me I don't know what it's like to have a family because I'm not a blood relative of theirs (I'm adopted). My desire to have children was so strong I had to go to counseling to 'get over it'.

 

By my trying to help others is nothing more than expressing my opinion like anyone else here in this thread or in these forums. I have mentioned in my posts that either folks can use my info/help or not...that everyone purges/declutters at their own pace...to the beat of their own drummer. I have been doing no more than trying to give what has worked for me and for those to take of it what they want or not at all. If you reread my posts, that is exactly what I have said.

 

I stand by my thoughts on 'if I had children' about clutter. That is how I personally would be handling those issues. I have nothing to feel guilty about. Everyone has their own way of dealing  with issues. You expressed your feelings on it and I did the same.

 

 

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 8
Registered: ‎01-08-2017

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

Each year I do anannual decluttering of closets, drawers etc.  Since we have living in our condo for 8 years I took everything out of all kitchen cupboards pantry shelves and drawers.  I then cleaned out inside of each space, purged many items and restocked items i kept.  Also I had an extensive Hallmark ornament collection that I wasnt using anymore which just sat in a plastic bin in the garage.  Decided to give some sentimental ones to my kids and sell the others on ebay.  I was surprised that I made over $350 just on the ornaments.  I figured lets see what else I can sell.  I found some Beanie Babies that my son had collected when he was young.  I am now selling those, hopefully another $350 would be nice.  It's amazing that one persons trash is anothers treasure.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 979
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

@danusz- I had a small Beannie baby collection about 20 years ago, have since given them all to my kids to play with or donated them. Now I'm kinda wishing I had kept them!

Valued Contributor
Posts: 979
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

@Susan Louise  @mominohio

 

I'll just have to wait and see how things play out when my kids are actually old enough to move out on their own. It's going to be many years before they are out of college and out of the house, (probably at least 12) so there is really no way for me to plan until it's closer to that time.

 

I know for myself, after I got out of college and got married and moved out at 22, my parents sold the house that I grew up in and built a new house. So I had no choice but to take anything that I wanted to keep out of the house, everything had to go.

 

I'm actually thinking that will be the case with my kids too. I'm thinking that after my boys are grown that hubby and I will sell our house and move to a smaller place that is easier to keep up. If that ends up being the case, then they will have no option but to take their items with them if they want them. I'm also thinking about moving out of state, so IF that happens, (big IF), then I definitely won't want to be moving a bunch of unnecessary items.

 

If we stay, then I will certainly have enough room to keep their items here for a bit if I choose to. Honestly though, I don't think we're overly attached to a lot of stuff. There are a few toys and books that I think they might want to keep, some sentimental items too, but I don't think there will be mountains of belongings. I'm sure I could organize it neatly and store it in the basement or one of their rooms if need be.

 

But like I said, it's still way too early to make any decisions about that yet. I'm just getting thru day by day now and year by year and seeing what happens. Just thinking about a future someday without so much "stuff". I guess I should have known, but kids (and hubby) sure do generate a lot of "stuff".

Super Contributor
Posts: 454
Registered: ‎10-21-2011

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

10/13: I have such a stockpile of facial cleansers that the one I'm using in the shower now was purchased in 2012. I had been storing it upside down in the shower caddy and started to notice a darkening where the cap meets the bottle. I opened it up and there was mold all over the threads! Gross I know, and I'm so embarrassed. That makes 14 items out so far.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 772
Registered: ‎04-03-2016

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

@ Mominohio
@ Susan Louise

Both have good insightful thoughts.
Stuff from kids is ONE of my issues. I saved school papers, artwork, etc. I have to admit they aren’t interested and now I should pull snd trash. My issue. I did shred two years worth of bank statements a week ago from DS. I really wanted him to do but....he also left musical instruments, etc .
I enjoy looking at kids memory boxes with T-Shirts, awards, etc but there is a limit. My issue.
I know getting rid is freeing but it takes my effort. Thanks for insights and encouragement.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,969
Registered: ‎04-14-2013

Re: Declutter 2019: What have you purged today?

DH voluntarily gave up about a half dozen old baseball caps.  I tell him, I could care less if you keep and enjoy them, but if they're not being worn, or if you've gotten your use from them, get rid of!

I laid down my hammer, and I saw ~ ancient proverb