@MildredM wrote:
I want to thank everyone for taking the time to post advice for me. The range of the replies was very enlightening to me. I expected some harsh comments as that goes hand and hand with posting on a forum.
To answer a few questions:
-No carpet, just 4 types of increasingly ugly tile and the old style laminate.
-No grass just gravel and desert trees and plants. Very low maintenance. Once a year landscape professionals come to skin the palm trees, trim back the trees and bushes, etc. This is standard for desert landscaping. My neighbors do the same. The yard is not unkept at all, the city is very strict.
-The house looks like the other original houses in the subdivision. We do need a new mailbox and some touch up paint to the facia.The main complaint is that my DH leaves the hoses out and the irrigation lines stick up too far.
-I spoke to my next door neighbor and she has also received complaints about her similar desert landscaping. One person went to her house and demanded she plant trees along the street outside her block wall because he didn't like the way it looked. I found this very bazaar and she was very frightened.
-the house is a ranch all on one level so no stairs.
-Yes, it makes perfect sense that real estate/builders are making the negative comments. It is not our fault they overbuilt a house at the back of the subdivision that is more than double the value of the other new builds and ugly to boot. One complaint is that they didn't want their clients to drive past our house to get to one for sale.
-Yes, we need new kitchen and bath remodels along with new flooring. I do get new appliances when needed. I wanted a gas cooktop and there is gas to the house for the water heater which is on the ajoining wall to the kitchen. It turned into a much bigger deal then it warranted. We settled on induction which I do like but it hums. Yes, we are both strong willed. Yes, our finances would allow it.
I do see that I am dug in and so is my DH. I expect nothing will be agreed upon anytime in the near future. The thought of packing up all the stuff and having to dispose of my dining room set and other furniture so we can fit into a smaller house does make me depressed. I also watch too much HGTV and suffer from remodeling envy.
@MildredM I have a theory in life that people by and large do what they want to do. So to me it seems, please forgive me, that you and your husband are far more happy arguing than doing something about this issue.
I cannot see any reasonable explanation for living in a house in such bad repair that the neighbors complain when one if able to do something about it. Or living with outmoded rooms that need a re-do to be good to live with, and so forth.
So let me toss out this point: Is it simply fear that somebody will "win?" If so let me say that I feel sure that any house you would choose to move to will have SOME things that you don't like, so you all can continue to fuss and blame one another should you get up the gumption to move. And maybe you two would be "happy" with that.
I knew a couple like that. Actually they did live in a house that sounds a lot like yours and the quarrled a lot about various things to do with the house. However, I feel confident that had they moved and been more comfortable, they would have still been happier with their quarreling than staying where they were.
I myself can't fathom staying where the neighbors complain about your house when you are perfectly able financially to do otherwise.
And moving is no exuse because many of those small moving companies are wonderful and will move you room by room, pack and unpack and it isn't THAT expensive considering.
I hope I haven't hurt your feelings, but I am being completely honest because I have seen this once from some relatives of mine. Sounds exactly like your situation except the outside of the house was one of the nicer ones in town.
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