Holiday

[Mominohio]

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@Sooner wrote:

To be really honest, since our families are mostly dead, we simply have learned that we must change our expectations of the holidays on all fronts.  It sure beats being unhappy and wistful doesn't it?

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@Sooner

This is so on point and really the only thing people can do when life circumstances change (and they will, and they do). 

If people wish to be alone, and miss their past and those folks gone on, so be it, we all deal with our losses and changes in different ways and at different paces. There is nothing wrong with recognizing sadness in our losses at any time of the year. 

Society's expectations of the perfect holidays don't need to be accepted by us, when we can't or don't want to make them our expectations and realities. 

Part of being continually happy in life, is understanding that our expectations need adjusted as life changes, and that our reality isn't necessarily what society says it should be, or even what we might really wish it to be, and only we can control our attitudes and happiness.

[Mom2Dogs]

@Sooner. @Mominohio.....points well taken, my biggest issue about switching things up this year is worrying about her being alone for the holiday....I am pretty much a realist, I know things change and I think I am pretty adept at going with the flow...especially as I have gotten older.

I appreciate all the replies!!

[Mominohio]

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@Mom2Dogs wrote:

@Sooner. @Mominohio.....points well taken, my biggest issue about switching things up this year is worrying about her being alone for the holiday....I am pretty much a realist, I know things change and I think I am pretty adept at going with the flow...especially as I have gotten older.

I appreciate all the replies!!

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@Mom2Dogs

I hope my post didn't seem directed at you, especially in any negative way. It certainly wasn't, but was just more an observation about folks in general, and myself specifically, as I've seen a big change in the way I feel about the holidays, and the people that are now left to spend them with, since so many have passed away or moved on. 

It was more a commentary on your friend and her need to not rely so much on others to fulfill what she needs or wants the holidays to be, and to be grateful when others include her, instead of critical or judgemental. 

[Mom2Dogs]

@Mominohio....I did not take your remarks in a negative way....years ago before both parents passed away, holidays were much different and more enjoyable....15+ years ago two sisters became so difficult that I no longer associate with them...especially sad for me because I lost contact with all but two of my sisters children (I have no children).  Thank goodness my brother and I get along just fine.

The first 5 years after we parted ways were difficult to say the least......I since discovered my happiness did not rest in their hands and have moved on....my friend needed a place to spend the holidays around the same time and so we sort of forged this Christmas day bond...