Holiday

[LizzieInSRQ]

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@Sooner wrote:

I can be very honest here.  I am older, I have things I want and don't want to replace them with things someone else wants.  I don't want pictures in frames--I am very picky about who I want to see, loved ones or not.

I don't want scented things or things I have to dust, display or eat.  Stuff.  I sure don't want clothing.  And I've been "throwed" to death.

So is that just because I'm old, or a trend in this time and place?  I'm being very honest here.  I wonder if the days of gifting are changing or is it me?  Which is usually is. . . 

Seems gifting could be replaced with a visit, drop by during the holidays and see the friend's kids or younger relatives, out to lunch, just a nice visit and you bring the agreed on snacks, etc.  A phone call, card, or zoom. Gift card for books and music. Things like that.

And of course, I'm someone not fond of baked things. . .   Always too much of that during holidays. 

My gift giving rule?  Ask.  You won't be disappointed and neither will the giftee if you ASK and do as they respond.  

@Sooner for you in particular, TELL them.

"At my age, and you'll understand as you get older, I don't need more stuff. If you insist on giving me something, give me your time, an experience with you, or just sharing a meal, or a visit with you and____ ". 

All said with a great big smile with positive enthusiasm and loving tone. 

Its a great post @Sooner. I wish my best friend and my brother understood this. I might have to have a discussion soon.

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[walkingal]

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@RetRN wrote:

For me it is an age thing, I know longer need anything as I am downsizing. In looking back I believe many gifts I have given in the past were not appreciated or used so I wasted a lot of money. Family gift exchange was stopped and it was a relief. 

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@RetRN  Wasted a lot of money AND time, right?  I've been there, done that.  Since I retired in 2010, it's been all about downsizing, streamlining, and getting rid of junk and stuff for me!  My parents we always bought for, but the rest of the family, friends, and I haven't exchanged gifts in years.  None of us needed anything, we all worked!  Sad to say though, it is a relief.  

[justK]

So many responses!

No longer fift exchange with anyone, I remember years

past where the gift wasn't really my style or taste

so was donated which I feel bad that money was spent.

I am 64 and last year I purged my "hostess gift tote", felt the need- some of the items were ornaments from Pier One, Scented candles from Bath & Body, holiday kitchen towels, wine bottle toppers etc to name a few. Seems the friend circle has gotten smaller when it comes to getting together, we all are busy with our grown children and grands! 
my husband and I give our daughters and husbands cash for a "couples gift" sometimes it's for a needed vacuum, lamps, outdoor landscaping or whatever and then gift cards to favorite coffee shop, restaurants and their salons for hair cuts, they love that! 

I think I commented on one

of VPH's posts to please stop selling us things in multiple quantities, give us the option to just purchase 1 at a lower price...I don't want to gift the 2nd and 3rd to someone that doesn't have the same style or space as me!

[DearPrudence]

It's been said that we spend the first half of our lives acquiring things and the last half getting rid of things.

[Effie54]

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@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:

I think gifts should be based on 2 things...

> the person's love language (quality time, service, affection, words of affirmation, physical items)

> their type

    - loves surprises/something to anticipate (ie concert, movie, etc)

    - appreciates sentimental things

    - practical (things to use)

    - intellectually interesting (ie books, museum tickets, games, etc)

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@ThinkingOutLoud  Yes, I'm with you. Well put! 

[Jo1313]

Just gifts for my kids and their wives and my grands..I've told them for years..don't buy us anything..it will be less you have to toss in the dumpster when we're gone.

[haddon9]

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@rockygems123 wrote:

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@Biftu wrote:

I don't want any gifts UNLESS someone can give me a new bathroom remodel ~$15,000, a new driveway $8,000, or a new mattress ~$2,000, a new car ~$30,000.  I'm good.

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@Biftu 

Santa Baby ha

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@BiftuSome lottery tickets....you just never know!

[haddon9]

My daughter and her family finally bought a house and moved near us!  So they could use a lot of things for the house even if it's just Home Depot gift cards for her DH.

My son is a bit of a challenge but I usually ask him.  I'm at a loss with my nephews.  All three are brothers and two are married with kids.  Two of them come to our home for Christmas but the oldest doesn't.  We haven't seen him in years.  I stopped with the cards & gifts for his kids' birthdays but will mail a gift card for the family for Christmas.  I have no idea what they want or like.

As for the other two, I give gift cards with some candy and a gift for their child.  My one nephew's wife's birthday is on Christmas so I give her a gift card too.  She is so sweet and will write a thank you note to me for hosting, the gifts and having them over!

My one friend and I have been exchanging gifts for years and it had gotten out of hand.  We were spending too much and I suggested that we keep it small.  I could tell that she was relieved.  Instead we will try to have a fun time by going out to eat and seeing some holiday displays.

As for me, I don't really want more junk.  I can buy what I want and while it's nice to get a few meaningful surprises, I would rather get nothing than something silly....A gift card to a local restaurant is always useful.

[Sooner]

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@LizzieInSRQ wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

I can be very honest here.  I am older, I have things I want and don't want to replace them with things someone else wants.  I don't want pictures in frames--I am very picky about who I want to see, loved ones or not.

I don't want scented things or things I have to dust, display or eat.  Stuff.  I sure don't want clothing.  And I've been "throwed" to death.

So is that just because I'm old, or a trend in this time and place?  I'm being very honest here.  I wonder if the days of gifting are changing or is it me?  Which is usually is. . . 

Seems gifting could be replaced with a visit, drop by during the holidays and see the friend's kids or younger relatives, out to lunch, just a nice visit and you bring the agreed on snacks, etc.  A phone call, card, or zoom. Gift card for books and music. Things like that.

And of course, I'm someone not fond of baked things. . .   Always too much of that during holidays. 

My gift giving rule?  Ask.  You won't be disappointed and neither will the giftee if you ASK and do as they respond.  

@Sooner for you in particular, TELL them.

"At my age, and you'll understand as you get older, I don't need more stuff. If you insist on giving me something, give me your time, an experience with you, or just sharing a meal, or a visit with you and____ ". 

All said with a great big smile with positive enthusiasm and loving tone. 

Its a great post @Sooner. I wish my best friend and my brother understood this. I might have to have a discussion soon.

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@LizzieInSRQ I'm out of people except hubby to buy for, so my post was about the recent past for me, and now for so many.

Oddly the last person-friend I bought for was a few years ago.  With issues with my elderly mother, and the fact that I ran out of enthusiasm and ideas about what to buy, I said hey let's not exchange gifts this year, I'm not into shopping and the holidays at this time.  So she stopped speaking to me.

My thought was I should have done it sooner if it was that big a deal.

[pdlinda]

@geezerette   

I agree that there are times I need help.  HOWEVER, I prefer to pay the people who are helping me with jobs I cannot do myself. 

That way, I don't have to think of other ways to acknowledge my appreciation for the help (like taking them out for lunch or inviting them for dinner or giving them a gift card, etc.)  

I always remark to these dear people:  "Thank you for accepting cash for the help you gave me.  They always answer:  "Thank YOU!"  That works for both of us!