Holiday

[Sweetbay magnolia]

We just give to the most special people in our lives, and I really enjoy it.

I don't feel obligated.

Most of our family is far-flung, geographically.  I wish we could share Christmas dinner!

[jlkz]

When my nieces and nephew were young, they got lots of wrapped Christmas gifts from me and DH.  As they grew older and their mothers became difficult to deal with, the estrangement caused the gifts to cease.

One niece remains extremely close to me and she gets “ packages “ throughout the year.  Two cousins are in difficult situations and they get gifts as needed throughout the year.  

I told all the others giftees that it seems crazy to keep giving gifts when neither they nor I really didn’t need anything.  They seemed to be happy that I brought it up way before any holidays or birthdays were on the horizon.

It makes holidays less stressful for them....they are all still working and I am retired.

Most of the holiday gifts now are for hairdresser, pedicurist, doctor and her receptionist, etc.  As one poster noted already, the amount given for the needy has been significantly increased.  I feel best after sending the check to local and vacation food banks.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@staciesmom wrote:

Good for you! I'm happy the others agreed. I suggested our family adopt a needy family through our church rather than buying "things" for each other that no one needs or wants. My suggestion was met with dead silence. This was several years ago and I haven't brought it up since. DH has a sister who lives in another state and their birthdays are within a week of each other, he sends her a $25 gift card and she sends him a $25 gift card! How silly is that? 

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I don't think it's silly; I think it's cute.

[CAcableGirl2]

@Nataliesgramma  Don't feel like Scrooge!  I brought this up to my family a few years ago after Thanksgiving dinner, and was met with "I guess", "hmm, not sure", etc..  but I can honestly say that it was the best idea (was my son's idea) and now everyone who was not so excited to stop the spending agrees that we should have done it years ago.

Everyone agrees that it reduces the stress around the holidays.  What we do it the "show and tell" version of no gifts.  Everyone buys a gift for themselves and spends what they want to spend and then unwraps it after dinner so there is still some gift unwrapping.

Everyone still donates to help others during the holidays, so the only thing that has changed is the stress of trying to buy gifts for family members that really don't need anything.

Best thing we ever did, and now we can just enjoy getting together and having a fabulous meal. 

For the young kids, I buy them a couple of small gifts and put the rest of the $$ that I would spend on them in their savings accounts.   They get so much from the in-laws that they don't even know what they got, and maybe when they get to be driving age, all those deposits from Grandma will get them a car.  

[panda1234]

It's all about the fellowship and food @Nataliesgramma.

[Othereeeen]

CAcableGirl what a great idea!

If you want the "feel" of Christmas Gifts around the tree, wrap up EMPTY boxes and such and place them around the tree...it will make it "feel" like Christmas, yet there is no competition, hand wringing, etc over gift givng!

You MAY want to put a little hand printed cute card among the faux gifts, where it can be SEEN by everyone who looks, that they ARE "fake gifts" so people don't feel like you got gifts for others and not for them!

I stopped the gift giving years ago. I have TOO MUCH STUFF. I spent the year up to Christmas telling everyone who was into the gift giving thing that I was NOT going to do gifts this year, did not EXPECT gifts from anyone, and hit the note HARD that I have TOO MUCH STUFF and need no more of ......ANYTHING.!!!!! ( Which is true too.)

Spent that last three years getting rid of not only my own ridiculous excess, but a house full of my Mom's too after she passed. I'm single, and the way I figure, unless I just want something "new", I will NEVER have to purchase new "things" again for me, EVER!!!

Some didn't get it the first year. But they caught on when I did not give anything in return, and by the next year, it was pretty much over. Anyone who can't "Get it", well, I accept a gift graciously, don't make them feel bad about it, and give it to the Salvation Army after Christmas. THere is no need ot hurt people's feelings. Gift Giving Guilt dies hard!

[CAMOGIRL]

🎄We started to cut back like three Christmas’s ago now.

 The first year, well I could of done better. The second, I did pretty good I must say. . Last year I did much better, excellent actually I must say.

This year, I am going to be cutting back a little more I think. Or, at least give it a good try! 

We all love Christmas - giving and receiving presents way too much to give up this tradition completely though.

A set limit for oneself is an amazing thing!!! - makes you really realize how much money you really have spent on this holiday in the past - and, think “Was I completely crazy or what???”. And, there is really no need to overdue it. (Hmmm, should of had that thinking all along I suppose ... ha, another case of “should of, could of”.)

Do whatever works best for you and enjoy the holiday, that it was counts!🎄

[GCR18]

OP you shouldn't feel like a scrooge.  Why don't you put your energy into the get together.  Ask everyone who's coming what their favorite dish is for for the holidays and incorporate it into the menu.  

[homedecor1]

@Nataliesgramma

I think you're smart ... not a Scrooge!!!  I bet all those in your family "breathed a sigh of relief someone finally had the common sense to bring it up!"

Our family stopped giving as not only was a "challenge" to buy what "I thought they'd like" to only find out ... thrown in a closet.

Now, and much simplier ... everyone gets a check or Visa gc (only 5 people in my family) except for GD who is wanting her own tablet this year.  I think a IPad is a little too much for a 7 year old...but, then again, its a family gift. 

There is no more "simplier" times where one waited for special occassions for something they wanted ... those days are long gone!  

I'm taking my family on a nice vacation next year ... that's a perfect way to celebrate a week at the shore!  So, Christmas this year is Christmas Eve dinner with family ... and look forward to sunny beach days!

[Pook]

SO and I quit giving gifts many years ago when a coworker/friend's husband had cancer and even with insurance had so many bills and expenses so we gave them the money we would have spent on gifts for each other.  Besides helping them, it was such relief.  SO would always tell me what he wanted and I think if I have to pick out my own gift then what's the point?!  We always buy what we want all year.  He would stress out so much insisting that he needed to  spend exactly what others spent on him so much so that we couldn't enjoy the holiday.  We finally suggested not giving gifts with his family and one of his sisters raised such a fuss but finally agreed to picking one name and giving a $50 gift.  Then we started writing 3 things we want on the exchange slip.  That to me is senseless.  Then it turned into mostly Amazon gift cards for $50 being exchanged.  How silly that is.   Finally the hold out sister gave in and now only gifts for the children.  Instead of wasting time with gift opening, we now each bring $10 in instant lottery tickets and give them out as prizes.  We put them in the middle of the table and play simple games using the tickets as prizes.  Winnders pick the ticket they want but can take one someone else already had.  We write on a post it the journey of the ticket and so much fun is had when someone ends up with a winning ticket that they took from someone.  We get to really get to have fun and catch up with each other's lives.  It's no longer rush to eat so presents can be opened individually - then some have to leave - now everyone stays for the games.  No more stuff to find a place for.  It's great enjoying each other's company more than we ever did.  Christmas is not about the presents and some seem to measure the holiday by how many gifts are under the tree!!