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@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:

The host might be picturing a 'light, fresh, Spring' looking table and brownies may not fit the color scheme. This is a chance for dear daughter to learn how to be gracious and that not everything is about her. These life lessons are more important than whether or not you might offend the host. She can have her brownies at home later.


@ThinkingOutLoud The host is not fussy about how things look as far as color scheme, we will be eating on paper plates. She is more about the fellowship. My daughter has eaten things she does not like before as to not offend the

host. She would feel awful if she knew she hurt someones feelings. 

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@Eileen in Virginia wrote:

We used to participate in an "orphans' Thanksgiving" with DH's carpool members where everyone was assigned a dish to bring. One woman was a great baker, so she always made the desserts. Since she didn't bring breads or rolls, I brought a couple of loaves of bread from a really good bakery in addition to my assigned dish. My reception was decidedly frosty. I'd hate to think what she would've done if I had brought a dessert. I didn't think to check ahead of time because I didn't think I would be stepping on anyone's toes. That taught me. 


@Eileen in Virginia WOW that is too funny. Were you ever tempted to bring a dessert? I guess your bread took the attention away from her stuff. 

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@50Mickey wrote:

It depends on the situation. If the host is a very close friend or relative it might be OK. But you should definitely bring the dish that you were assigned. If your daughter shows up with brownies the host may think it is a gift and put is aside and not on the dessert table. It might be awkward. Basically she is saying to the host I don't care for you selection of food. I really don't think is a good idea. 

If your daughter is an adult I would tell her that she can eat her brownies when she gets home. No one will force her to eat dessert at the dinner. 


@50Mickey The woman is my son's MIL. We are bringing our assigned dishes this would be extra. There will be young children there so they most likely will be eaten. 

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@Janey2 wrote:

Never heard of being invited to dinner and " being assigned to bring something". I guess everyone does things differently. What if everyone decides to change their assigned dish? I imagine a grown up can go with one meal and not have dessert. When she gets home she can have whatever dessert she chooses.


@Janey2 We have made no changes, we are bringing what we were assigned, brownies are extra.

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@mspatmac wrote:

Since she is not baking for herself but for others IMO she should stick with something on the host's suggested list.  


@mspatmac  We deffinately are sticking to the assigned food, brownies are extra.

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@Janey2 wrote:

Never heard of being invited to dinner and " being assigned to bring something". I guess everyone does things differently. What if everyone decides to change their assigned dish? I imagine a grown up can go with one meal and not have dessert. When she gets home she can have whatever dessert she chooses.


@Janey2 

 

Families "assign dishes" for large family dinners often and many friends whom know another well do as well.

 

Many ladies can't cook the large amounts needed to feed some families, no do they have the availability to store some things.

Many will ask you bring that "good salad you make", maybe you do very well with pecan pies, the other person makes a casserole with potatoes which will feed a lot and so on.  

 

In addition, people will often ask if they can bring something because they can't cook or may not be equipped for entertaining.

 

Also, let's not forget the clean up.  The day is nice and no one gets taken advantage of if everyone pitches in.

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Well, if I assigned dishes and someone brought something extra, too, I would be delighted for their enthusiastic participation.

 

There are always takers for leftovers, when there's too much. It's better than not enough. We over think things too much. So, take your assigned dish AND the brownies. I'm sure they will be welcomed.

 

The host sounds like a lovely person. Just enjoy the holiday and the company. That's always far more important than the meal itself, or who brought what. 

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@panda1234 wrote:

@50Mickey wrote:

It depends on the situation. If the host is a very close friend or relative it might be OK. But you should definitely bring the dish that you were assigned. If your daughter shows up with brownies the host may think it is a gift and put is aside and not on the dessert table. It might be awkward. Basically she is saying to the host I don't care for you selection of food. I really don't think is a good idea. 

If your daughter is an adult I would tell her that she can eat her brownies when she gets home. No one will force her to eat dessert at the dinner. 


@50Mickey TShe woman is my son's MIL. We are bringing our assigned dishes this would be extra. There will be young children there so they most likely will be eaten. 


@panda1234     Since the host is your son's MIL I would definitely call and just ask if she would like to have an extra dessert of brownies. If she she yes then OK. But please ask your daughter NOT to add nuts to the recipe especially as there will be young children there. You never know when a child with a nut allergy might spy the brownies and help themselves.

Hope you have a great time at the dinner.

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@panda1234 wrote:

@Eileen in Virginia wrote:

We used to participate in an "orphans' Thanksgiving" with DH's carpool members where everyone was assigned a dish to bring. One woman was a great baker, so she always made the desserts. Since she didn't bring breads or rolls, I brought a couple of loaves of bread from a really good bakery in addition to my assigned dish. My reception was decidedly frosty. I'd hate to think what she would've done if I had brought a dessert. I didn't think to check ahead of time because I didn't think I would be stepping on anyone's toes. That taught me. 


@Eileen in Virginia WOW that is too funny. Were you ever tempted to bring a dessert? I guess your bread took the attention away from her stuff. 


@panda1234  I had thought about bringing a dessert the first time we went, but her desserts were so great (chocolate cheesecake, cream puffs, etc.), all made from scratch, that I ditched that idea right away. I really didn't think 2 loaves of bread would be a problem because she never made the breads or rolls, but I was wrong. 😕

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Re: Easter dinner

[ Edited ]

@Eileen in Virginia wrote:

We used to participate in an "orphans' Thanksgiving" with DH's carpool members where everyone was assigned a dish to bring. One woman was a great baker, so she always made the desserts. Since she didn't bring breads or rolls, I brought a couple of loaves of bread from a really good bakery in addition to my assigned dish. My reception was decidedly frosty. I'd hate to think what she would've done if I had brought a dessert. I didn't think to check ahead of time because I didn't think I would be stepping on anyone's toes. That taught me. 



@Eileen in Virginia - because nothing says spirit of Thanksgiving more than someone giving you a frosty reception for daring to bring a few loaves of bread in addition to your assigned dish. So ridiculous. 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?