Holiday

[Estellee]

It seems that money and gift cards are much appreciated 

[DJs mom]

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@Tricia from TN wrote:

I have 7 adult children plus spouses.  This will be the first year I am not buying 

for everyone.  Instead, I am joining them for Secret Santa using "Elfster." It is online, and my daughter enters all of our names and emails in September.  The computer program sends you an email with who you have,  It is a secret until Christmas morning.  Elfster allows each person to form a gift list for links to gifts you want.  It is always

so fun, and my kids come up with fun and meaningful gifts.  I am sad not to shop for everyone, but excited to be a part of it this year.  Elfster keeps up with who has been picked in prior years so you don't get the same person.  Highly recommend!

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@Tricia from TN for the past 4 years my colleagues and I have been using Elfster for our office Christmas exchange. I am in Philly but we also have 2 colleagues in our Pittsburgh office, so this makes it possible for them to participate. We create our wishlists on Eflster and are able to send the gift ahead of time and we open them during one of our weekly Zoom meetings close to the holiday.

[deeva]

Nothing.
We stopped buying Christmas presents for them when they turned eighteen.
They live in different states, so when we see them throughout

the year, we usually give each one $500 .

[wagirl]

I have 2 adult kids--for b-days/xmas I give each $100. I now have a new DIL so will add her to the mix too. No grands in the picture, but I do have 4 nieces and nephews and if all are present at XMAS--I do a $25 amz card per each.

[wilma]

We don't give Christmas gifts to adults in our family anymore. We only give to the children which in our case is the children of our nieces and nephews. Everyone else is an adult.

We don't have adult children, but if I did I would give them money on their birthdays to spend as they wanted. I currently do that for my adult nieces and nephews. 

[Sakuya]

When the family gets together we do a grab bag game. $20 limit. If roll 7, 11 or doubles you get to either steal a present already opened or choose a wrapped present to open. If your gift is stolen, then you can steal from someone else or open a new gift. Once the same gift has been stolen 3 times from you, it can't be stolen again. It is actually a really fun game and everyone likes it.

[Mom2Dogs]

@Sakuya. I wish my family would play games...honestly they are not a lot of fun.

I am the step mother (dh and I do not have kids) and do my best to host an enjoyable evening but like I said up thread....I feel like I am juggling balls all evening to keep things moving.

 My step daughter's son in law does not really like her and we have nothing in common with him...They are good people and parents.... just not much interaction thru the year and then Christmas is expected to be magical.  

[Sakuya]

@Mom2Dogs - I am sorry. I don't even know what to suggest as possible ways to get everyone more interactive with each other. Your description of the day sounds so stressful as you try so hard to make it enjoyable for everyone. Bless you for caring and continuing your efforts.

[Sakuya]

@Mom2Dogs - Okay I went back and reread your post. I wonder if putting on a cheery Christmas movie on TV in the background will lighten the mood. Have Elf playing and adults and kids can pay attention as they wish.

Have holiday coloring books out with crayons or markers or pencils on the coffee table. If it is the kind with tear out pages could have some pre-torn so are sitting there inviting a person to sit down and work on one. Maybe have a plate of cookies on the table too.

Do you burn any holiday candles or have anything out that brings the scent of the holiday to the room? I personally find seasonal scents add a lot of ambiance.

Maybe have music playing softly in the background in kitchen or living room. Simple little nuances add to a festive atmosphere.

I know you said no one likes to play games, but maybe could just go online and print out some Christmas word searches or crossword puzzles or mazes. The kids will be drawn to them and the giggles from the kids might draw in an adult to partake and do a game or sit with a child and color.

And if you do all that and still no one is interested, then sit back and relax and enjoy the movie. You tried!

[Mom2Dogs]

@Sakuya   Thanks for your reply....our house is decorated and festive, favorite foods, cookies are made...plenty of food.  Christmas music is paying and the kids are gifted with things they can play with during the evening.  The two adult grand kids have a few favorite foods made by their mother...the problem is an underlying current of issues with their mom....there are never harsh words or fights..if that happened it would be the last Christmas at my house!!!

The biggest issue is the  adults girls just don't seem to know how to keep a conversation going, or how to just have a back and forth talk with out me asking 20 questions.

I just cannot explain it well...The girls always ask when we are celebrating, but I am glad when it is over.

I am the step mom, been married for 45 years and obviously have been in the grand kids lives since birth...I really think the issue is their issue with their mom....they keep her at  arms length..which in turn keeps us at a distance with the grand kids and great grandkids....we rarely see each other.  My step daughters mother lives in another state...far, far away.  I am close with my stepdaughter...no issues with her.

 One of these holidays I need to pass the hosting to the oldest granddaughter...mom lives in a small house..and I mean small, no way can she host.  The older grandduaghter has no desire to host and she would be a nervous wreck.  I just need to buck up put on a happy face and move forward...which I always do.  

I know they appreciate the evening, so maybe it's me.