Fashion

[haddon9]

I must be naive.  I don't think of "giving up" as only belonging to women.  I see plenty of men who appear to have given up too...or maybe they never tried...who knows?

[ALRATIBA]

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@151949 wrote:

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@ALRATIBA wrote:

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@traveler wrote:

I am always confused by this phrase  Is it strapping your feet into painful shoes?  Being attractive to men?  Is it tight clothing?  What?

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@traveler

 I think it's related to the phrase "trying too hard."  Just another snide remark, another put-down.  They use that on QVC frequently

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Isn't "giving up" the polar opposite of "trying too hard" ? I do agree both are a put down.

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@151949   .... yes they are opposites ... but related in the sense they are both snide remarks and put downs.

[NicksmomESQ]

 I think that the term "giving up"can apply to men & women. 

  When I give up on something I let go of the need .I have never given up on trying to look my best everytime that I leave the house.I've given up on certain friends who I feel are toxic.I'm no longer waiting for them to change because they won't.

  I've learned that life is to short.I try to make the most of everyday.I try to focus on what I can do & I've "given up" on the rest.It's very freeing!

  My mantra: The Serenity Prayer.

   " May G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.The courage to change the things I can.And the wisdom to know the difference ".

   I'm a happier person now.I'm surrounded by love & positive energy.

[Trinity11]

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@151949 wrote:

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@IMissSuperPoke wrote:

I've heard the term letting yourself go more often. I usually think of no more shaving, not caring about your weight, & appearance too. 

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On this board you have to wear 15 layers of skin care & makeup - dye your hair and be anorexic to avoid being told you have given up. It's really pathetic.

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That's a gross exaggeration. There are many posters here who share their imperfections and I include myself in that group. Life isn't perfect and everyone has their challenges... 

[reiki604]

The only thing I have given up is caring what other people think about me. I color my hair because I like it and want to. I wear makeup when I am in the mood to. I dont wear it when I dont want to. My choice and nobody else's.The only opinions I care about are DH's and those I love. Anyone else is irrelevent. 

[jubilant]

Maybe we should start a new thread on "Things You Have Given Up!  It might be interesting what some give up and what  some keep!   

[151949]

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@jubilant wrote:

Maybe we should start a new thread on "Things You Have Given Up!  It might be interesting what some give up and what  some keep!   

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That would be interesting. I have had to give up eyeliner because I can't see well enough to put it on anymore.

[noodleann]

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@traveler wrote:

I am always confused by this phrase  Is it strapping your feet into painful shoes?  Being attractive to men?  Is it tight clothing?  What?

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I'm a bit confused by these proposed examples, but nevermind.

I once knew a woman who'd been recently widowed, and didn't miss a beat in anything she did--hosting dinners, her academic work, her devotion to her children. Beyond her ability to achieve perfection in anything she set her hand or mind to, she was always impeccably turned out. She once said that she had never washed her own hair; she went from her mother or nurse washing it for her to having it done weekly at the salon.

A few weeks after her husband was laid to rest, she confided to me that she briefly thought that now she could "relax" the way some women who'd lost their husbands did, but decided against it. I knew in an instant what she meant; she'd start wearing casual clothing instead of her smart tailored outfits with matching Gucci bag and shoes. She'd stop giving dinner parties, or have them catered instead of doing all the work (she was a Cordon Bleu-level cook). She'd allow herself to put on those 10 pounds she was vigilant about keeping off. She wouldn't be so manic about the housekeeping.

But no, she did not "relax," and maintained her life and the family home as it had always been until cancer, too, claimed her.

"Giving up" seems like something you'd think of yourself, but it's really an other-directed judgment. What looks like "giving up" on the usual conformity to appearances and activities may instead be the beginning of a reimaginging of yourself, a reinvention. Far from indifference or despair, it's about deciding to engage the world on different terms.

[mstyrion 1]

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@151949 wrote:

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@IMissSuperPoke wrote:

I've heard the term letting yourself go more often. I usually think of no more shaving, not caring about your weight, & appearance too. 

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On this board you have to wear 15 layers of skin care & makeup - dye your hair and be anorexic to avoid being told you have given up. It's really pathetic.

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Utter nonsense.  I've never seen anything near what you are alleging,

151949.

I agree with IMissSuper Poke's assessment of letting yourself go.  If you stop caring about maintaining a healthy weight, ignoring good hygeine and dressing in dirty, rumpled clothing, then you are letting yourself go.

The most strident person about coloring hair on these boards is usually you, 151949. 

[AngelPuppy1]

Giving up?  I am not sure what the original post means.

I guess it can mean many things, can't it?

For instance --- I will say --- I give up -- when I have reached a point where I am getting no where with something I am trying to accomplish or when I am trying to get a point across to someone or something of this nature.  

Also, it can mean --- that you no longer want to put forth any effort to enhance or keep up your appearance.  You just decide --- this is it.  I look this way --- and so be it.  Or I have always carried extra weight or I have always been thinner than I want or whatever it is and you are tired of battling it or any other battle.  So, you just --- throw in the towel --- or give up.  The effort no longer seems worthwhile to you.