What would you do: rude comment on my clothing

carlycat · ‎06-07-2010

I am 62 and retired from 1) teaching and 2) HR in a public utility. I work as a paraprofessional in a high school in order to get health insurance, frankly, as my retirement did not include it. I have worked in this school for 4 years . It’s an easy job and I enjoy working with the kids without the stress of teaching.

Today when I came in I overheard the receptionist saying “oh, she’s always so dressed up,” and then she flipped her hair, like “snotty.” Yes, she was talking about me. There is no dress code at this large school, and many of the teachers wear shorts and school T-shirts every day, men and women alike. I continue to dress professionally, not like I did in HR, but I wear a nice top and pants and often a cardigan every day.

I’m hurt, because I thought we were friends. Secondly, I really don’t want to wear shorts and T-shirts to school no matter what my job is. I wanted to say something to her but haven’t yet.

What do do you think?

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

@carlycat That was a catty remark. Sounds like that fact that you dress less casually bothers her. It's HER probelm. Consider the source. BTW, she does not sound like my definition of a friend.

You may want to re-think your "friendship" with this snot.

Just do as you have been and don't let on that you heard what she said!

CAcableGirl2 · ‎06-03-2010

@carlycat sounds to me like she's jealous.

Continue to wear what makes you comfortable, and let her admire your good taste.

......You look like I need a drink.....

patbz · ‎03-10-2010

@carlycat : Sounds like your school personnel aren't doing a good job of looking professional. When my Son was in middle school and high school the teachers frequently looked almost slovenly and in mho weren't modelling how one should look in the workplace. I'm not talking three piece suits but decent jeans and an appropriate top.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

@carlycat wrote:
I am 62 and retired from 1) teaching and 2) HR in a public utility. I work as a paraprofessional in a high school in order to get health insurance, frankly, as my retirement did not include it. I have worked in this school for 4 years . It’s an easy job and I enjoy working with the kids without the stress of teaching.

Today when I came in I overheard the receptionist saying “oh, she’s always so dressed up,” and then she flipped her hair, like “snotty.” Yes, she was talking about me. There is no dress code at this large school, and many of the teachers wear shorts and school T-shirts every day, men and women alike. I continue to dress professionally, not like I did in HR, but I wear a nice top and pants and often a cardigan every day.

I’m hurt, because I thought we were friends. Secondly, I really don’t want to wear shorts and T-shirts to school no matter what my job is. I wanted to say something to her but haven’t yet.

What do do you think?

I wouldn't give it a second thought, evidently she doesn't think of you as a friend and you don't need friends who talk behind your back anyway. If she's commenting on something so trivial as a clothing choice, what else is she saying about you. I used to work with a bunch of vipers who were smart enough to manipulate me, until someone who wasn't a "friend", called it to my attention. I watched my back and kept to myself after that until I was able to retire early. Good luck

dex · ‎03-09-2010

You choose to dress differently than they do and they are taking notice.I don’t think the comment that you are always so dressed up is a negative comment but a fact.I bet you look so nice that more than one person has noticed.

RoughDraft · ‎03-09-2010

I sense that you're too nice to do what I'd dream of doing, which would be to thank her for the "complement," flip my hair back at her and ask her if she'd like some help in dressing properly for the job. I've never had teachers that can wear shorts and tees on the job unless they worked in the gym! Sounds like an interesting school.

In reality, I'd just let it pass and let her wonder why I give her wide berth in the future.

~The only difference between this place and the Titanic is that the Titanic had a band.~

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

Odd that she finds dressing nice a fault. Just ignore her as she is the one with a problem. Don’t lower your standards to please her.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

jellyBEAN · ‎04-03-2010

Yeah, my first thought was she's just jealous. Women (despite what you may hear on TV about women empowering each other) are very often catty. Maybe you look better in your clothes than she does, maybe they are a better quality or more stylish. I am around your age but I do not work any longer. I have a beautiful wardrobe that I can really no longer wear anywhere because these days everyone is SO casual.

She's not much of a friend. I'm not sure how I would respond. I would be so taken aback by the comment I wouldn't know what to say and probably would have pretended I didn't hear it. But it would have hurt my feelings as well. Consider the source.

Interested to read what others have to say about this.

Flowers are nature's way of laughing