Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,687
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

I sort of understand, because when I worked I wore scrubs. Now that I'm retired I wear the at home equivalent of scrubs, jeans and a tee shirt, or yoga pants. I still drool over fashion mags. and catalogs, and lust after clothes for the life I never had.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,892
Registered: ‎07-03-2013

I understand the quandary.  You may have to get another hobby.  I'd give up shopping in a heart beat to work full time at home.  😀

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,613
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

@Stormygirl wrote:

I miss shopping too but not for the same reasons. Your job sounds fabulous though and I wish you the best. We grieve what we used to do/ in my case who I used to be and what I used to do...those things that gave us pleasure and joy. Right now I miss walking and being well bodied. I know the feeling of seeing something and putting it back. My thinking is I never get out and my prognosis is so poor so why even bother buying? Situations are diferent but the grieving is still the grieving for what once was. Through my hospice therapy I have had to practice living in the moment and writing my "gratitude list" every time I get in my space. Is perfectly fine if you really want an item to buy it. WHen I was well and working I rewarded myself for a job well done! Hugs to you



     Hugs to you too!  And thank for the wake up call .  I know it was not your intent but your post certainly put things in perspective for me.  Here I am wbining because I can't justify buying clothes I don't need and there are so many other women who aren't or can't buy new clothes for some very real and very serious reasons.  Thank you for reminding me about what is really important in life.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  You are a very special lady.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,673
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

I really had a hard time accepting that I was buying career clothes for no reason after I retired. I have a handle on it now.  I still buy a few things which are a bit more stepped up than casual, but the amount is drastically reduced. 


The item I hardly ever buy anymore is handbags.  One reason is some of places I go, the size of the handbag is restricted, and in other instances, I don't need a large fancy bag. If I'm just out shopping, or at a medical appointment, I don't really want much more than a small crossbody to hold my wallet, phone, and glasses (readers/sunglasses).  Travelon, Baggallini, and Vera Badley are the brands I carry the most these days.  


I wear makeup everyday, so I still buy the same amount of makeup and skincare as always.   

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,909
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I miss shopping !

[ Edited ]


When I retired, one thing I missed was being able to buy lots of pretty clothes - and the budget to afford them! (I also missed the daily interaction with coworkers who had become good friends.)


Anyway, I've decided that each season of life brings new challenges and, hopefully, its own special pleasures. I like to focus on the good in my life right now.


One thing I have now that I didn’t have before is the luxury of time, and it means a lot to me.


I’ve also discovered that having something new once in awhile makes me just as happy as the more-or-less constant shopping I used to do. 


OP, I hope you love your new job, and that it will have compensations for what will be missed. Smiley Happy



Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,613
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

@QVC kitty 1 wrote:

I sort of understand, because when I worked I wore scrubs. Now that I'm retired I wear the at home equivalent of scrubs, jeans and a tee shirt, or yoga pants. I still drool over fashion mags. and catalogs, and lust after clothes for the life I never had.



     Yes, fashion mags and catalogs.  When I was a sahm and even when I first went back to work and wasn't making much money; I satisfied my love of fashion by pouring over fashion magazines and catalogs.  I subscribed to every magazine there was and I would get 10 or 15 catalogs a week.  I couldn't afford to buy things, so I looked.  And it was ok.  It helps to remember that.  I was thinking about "the life I never had" and wondering about how many people shop for that un-lived life.  I remembered my dear friend's mom who passed away about 10 years ago.  She was a widow, 70ish, financially comfortable but not wealthy or anything.   She had a small life.  A few lady friends, church on Sunday and her soaps and quiz shows.  She certainly didn't need a fancy wardrobe and I don't recall every seeing her all dressed up.  But after she passed away, her daughters found a treasure trove of amazing clothes, shoes, bags and jewelry in her home.  All of it was beautifully arranged and organized in her closets and drawers and she had jewelry boxes full of all types of jewelry.  Yes, most of it was from  shopping channels but that is irrelevant.  She could afford everything she bought.  I don't even know if ot is sad or not but it was apparent that she was buying things for the life she wished she had.  My friends and I have a sort of catch phrase now "shop for the life you have, not the one you wish you had"  whenever one of us talks about buying something that really is outside of our reality.  So far this fall, I have been able to control myself.  And I know  that I'm just in a period of adjustment.  I'll be fine this time next year.   But that is exactly what I am struggling with....the urge to shop for a life I don't have anymore..  I've been on a very strict diet for the past few months.  Can't eat....can't shop.   No wonder I'm depressed   lol