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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,370
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

 

I don't worry about what people wear to funerals, church, etc.  I'm just glad they are there.

Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-28-2015

@wilma wrote:

I sing funerals at my church so I always dress up. I don't wear just black, but I do wear darker colors either in a dress or skirt or pants with a nice top. I don't want to draw attention to myself with a bold bright color or print. When visiting funeral homes I usually wear a nice skirt or pants and a top. 

 

I would rather not see others in shorts, ripped jeans, or club wear, but I have seen it all and more. The fact they took the time to come is great; just don't see how difficult it is to put on a decent pair of jeans and top for something like this. 


My hubby is the guy who opens the door and ushers the family thru the services. He got bored with retirement and does this a couple days a week and I agree with your comments. MOST people are dressed respectfully even if they aren't in dark colors. Then there are those who come dressed like they are going to a club instaed of a funeral. The last 2 things that hubby told me about was the teen sitting in the first row by the family eating McDonalds and the guy who came in holding a bottle of beer.....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,794
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

@Nataliesgramma wrote:

@wilma wrote:

I sing funerals at my church so I always dress up. I don't wear just black, but I do wear darker colors either in a dress or skirt or pants with a nice top. I don't want to draw attention to myself with a bold bright color or print. When visiting funeral homes I usually wear a nice skirt or pants and a top. 

 

I would rather not see others in shorts, ripped jeans, or club wear, but I have seen it all and more. The fact they took the time to come is great; just don't see how difficult it is to put on a decent pair of jeans and top for something like this. 


My hubby is the guy who opens the door and ushers the family thru the services. He got bored with retirement and does this a couple days a week and I agree with your comments. MOST people are dressed respectfully even if they aren't in dark colors. Then there are those who come dressed like they are going to a club instaed of a funeral. The last 2 things that hubby told me about was the teen sitting in the first row by the family eating McDonalds and the guy who came in holding a bottle of beer.....


Plenty of older adults do not dress appropriately at funerals. I just went to one for a dear friend where the women (all seniors) wore sloppy sweat like pants in various colors and a flowery sweater underneath ski jackets. Apparently, no one had anything black in their wardrobe and had no plans to purchase something to wear for the occasion.

 

 

Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎05-13-2010

Serious, dark business attire.  Dark hose.  Very limited jewelry.  Small handbag.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎08-23-2010

@JAXS Mom wrote:

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@italia8140 wrote:

@ECBG wrote:

Absolutely!!!  What you wear and how your grooming is an indication of who you are.  Thank goodness at least the men were properly dressed.

 

I will wear black dress slacks and a dark top, heels, and a leather clutch, in cooler weather a blouse and blazer.

 

It seems in some cases people want to come but don't have anything but casual clothes.  At least they can be clean and neat.  

 

Bare midriffs belong very few places.


Has NOTHING to do with it.


 

@italia8140   @Actually, @ECBG is correct.      

 

Everything you wear when you go out in public makes a statement about who you are.   Everything.  

 

I find it mind boggling that people don't realize this.  Perhaps it's because so many twentysomethings think whatever they wear is a way to "express themselves" ....  giving no thought to what is appropriate for the occasion.   

 

I can't help but wonder .... who raised these clueless people? 


Huh? Your "20 somethings thinking whatever they wear is a way to express themselves" is actually an example of "how everything you wear when you go out is a statement". It's not the exception to the rule as you seem to be trying to make it. You may not like that some people don't follow your idea of appropriate but that doesn't change the reality of clothing being personal expression. Personal expression includes not following societies arbitrary rules on dress. 


I was replying to the above comment that what you wear, does tell people who you are, especially when you disrespect the event and the people attending.   

 

I'm not sure what you think is societies' "arbitrary" rules on dress.   No one should wear shorts and flip flops to a funeral.  No one should wear a bathing suit to a formal occasion.  No one should wear casual clothes to a company that has a dress code (like a big law firm, for instance).

 

Yet, there are always the fools that think they should be able to wear anything they want, any time they want, even if it's not appropriate.   

 

That was the point I was making.  Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,773
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Thought about this some mpre. Yesterday I bought a spring suit. It is navy blue and depending on what i would wear underneath it could be worn to a funeral. Depending on who is being mourned I think it would be ok to navy or grey. My Mom was always fussy about black and felt only family members should wear black.

Oh by the way she called it a "viewing".

When I lose the TV controller, it's always in some remote destination.
Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎04-04-2014

A funeral is about grieving our loss but it's also about celebrating the life our loved one.

Given that shouldn't our attire honor the individual (who died)? How would he/she want us to look at their service?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,338
Registered: ‎06-20-2010

Personally, I would wear a nice black dress and black mid heels, but I had to comment about a recent funeral my sister attended.  Some of the family members of the deceased showed up wearing pajama bottoms!  Yes, you read that correctly.  My sister wondered if they'd just rolled out of bed for the service.  I have seen people show up in jeans, but they looked nice and were clean in appearance. It was nice that they took the time to come to the service and they might not have dressier clothes.  Pajama bottoms on the other hand are downright distasteful. 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 236
Registered: ‎03-24-2010

When my father passed away 12 years ago I wore a simple black dress and low black chunk heels to his funeral. My aunt (his sister) came up to me in her pink dress and flowered scarf and asked me why I was wearing that. She told me she dressed cheerfully because it was a celebration.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,812
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

it's showing respect for the deceased and the family and i guess some would appreciate just the fact that you showed up.  to some, dress is not all that important.