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Honored Contributor
Posts: 54,389
Registered: ‎03-29-2012

What do you wear to a funeral?

Today I went to one where the viewing was from 11-1 and the service followed. Even though it was Valentine's Day, I wore my black dress, black boots, and a black cardigan to the service. I saw a little bit of everything, but not too many people were dressed "appropriately". I saw jeans, bare midriffs, summery shoes (black/white polka dots with open toes), black/navy pants with white athletic socks, hooded sweatshirts/zip up jackets, and one woman had a white lace tank top.

So, do you think the rules have changed, or because it's in the middle of the work day people just came from work and didn't wear anything special?

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,616
Registered: ‎10-01-2014

@lolakimono, I resurrected this old post of yours because I went to a funeral today and saw a wide array of clothing choices. I guess I am "old school" in that I wear some type of (appropriate) dress, not pants, to a funeral. Now, if it was a snow day, I might opt for pants. To me, dressing nicely is a sign of respect to the dearly departed and family. Today I saw lots of faux sheepskin boots, thigh high dresses, skin tight everything. Most of the men were dressed in suits or sport coats, a very few had jeans on.

 

What do you think? Or wear to funerals? Are clothing choices a sign of respect or simply meaningless at funerals anymore?

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,781
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I don't think the rules have changed that much -- just a little. I remember when slacks on women would be a big NO NO. I think one should dress nicely in whatever. When my MIL passed her son (my DH) wore nice slacks, a sport coat and a shirt but no tie. He looked good and I think it was ok. If I would have been able to attend (just gotten out of the hospital) I would have worn a pants suit in navy blue and a blouse.

And things that go bump in the night!!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,339
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Absolutely!!!  What you wear and how your grooming is an indication of who you are.  Thank goodness at least the men were properly dressed.

 

I will wear black dress slacks and a dark top, heels, and a leather clutch, in cooler weather a blouse and blazer.

 

It seems in some cases people want to come but don't have anything but casual clothes.  At least they can be clean and neat.  

 

Bare midriffs belong very few places.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,704
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Back in the day you would never go to a funeral in clothes that were not dark to match the mood of the day. Consequently people who did not have the appropriate clothing did not attend. I'm glad people do not follow the rules in that regard today, as long as they are clean and neat it's nice they show up.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,812
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@MaggieMack

 

my husband definitely wears a suit and i have a funeral dress, shoes and a pants suit.  we just had a memorial service about a month ago and i wore my dress and shoes that i save for these unfortunate occasions. 

 

i didn't see anyone inappropriately dressed thank heavens.  i have seen it in church, though.  some people just don't have any sense.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 859
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Last one we attened was in Colorado in July out of town.  Nearly all men wore suits and ties and women dresses, some older ladies had on pants suits.  The prayer service was night before and men again wore suits and ladies dresses for most part.  Alot to take when traveling for just a few days on plane to take two suits, dress shoes, etc. and dresses, shoes, etc. but we wouldn't have missed my sweet cousin's services for anything.   Again, few people were under dressed, may have to do with the profession someone is in and coming to/from work to attend.  This was a very large funeral, all family (even cousins and spouses, neices/nephews) rode in limo's to service and cemetary.   I guess it was a very formal, traditional type service.     

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

Re: Funeral Attire

[ Edited ]

@lolakimono wrote:

What do you wear to a funeral?

Today I went to one where the viewing was from 11-1 and the service followed. Even though it was Valentine's Day, I wore my black dress, black boots, and a black cardigan to the service. I saw a little bit of everything, but not too many people were dressed "appropriately". I saw jeans, bare midriffs, summery shoes (black/white polka dots with open toes), black/navy pants with white athletic socks, hooded sweatshirts/zip up jackets, and one woman had a white lace tank top.

So, do you think the rules have changed, or because it's in the middle of the work day people just came from work and didn't wear anything special?


 

Someone brought this thread  back from the dead. It's from 2013.

We've become a much more casual society. I can't say if that's better or worse or makes no difference, but I think that if my loved one died, I'd be happy my friends showed up to support me and would remember that, not what the person wore.

 

As for me, when I was at my grandfather's funeral many years ago, I decided that I would want everyone to attend my funeral in a Hawaiian shirt and that they should play all my favorite rock songs and drive me off in a hearse dragging tin cans and a "Just Died" sign. Because I want people to remember and celebrate my life, and that should include bright colors, happy songs, and the fun we all had.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,185
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@ChynnaBlue wrote:

@lolakimono wrote:

What do you wear to a funeral?

Today I went to one where the viewing was from 11-1 and the service followed. Even though it was Valentine's Day, I wore my black dress, black boots, and a black cardigan to the service. I saw a little bit of everything, but not too many people were dressed "appropriately". I saw jeans, bare midriffs, summery shoes (black/white polka dots with open toes), black/navy pants with white athletic socks, hooded sweatshirts/zip up jackets, and one woman had a white lace tank top.

So, do you think the rules have changed, or because it's in the middle of the work day people just came from work and didn't wear anything special?


 

Someone brought this thread  back from the dead. It's from 2013.

We've become a much more casual society. I can't say if that's better or worse or makes no difference, but I think that if my loved one died, I'd be happy my friends showed up to support me and would remember that, not what the person wore.

 

As for me, when I was at my grandfather's funeral many years ago, I decided that I would want everyone to attend my funeral in a Hawaiian shirt and that they should play all my favorite rock songs and drive me off in a hearse dragging tin cans and a "Just Died" sign. Because I want people to remember and celebrate my life, and that should include bright colors, happy songs, and the fun we all had.


 I get your point, but I wouldn't want to try to have a party when a beloved relative had passed.  I'd be sad and would want to be sad.  To me, the best is make sure the people who might be left understand that at this point it is about them, so give them the freedom to do what THEY won't do.  Your shot at it is over by this time!  LOL!!!!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,586
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

....a retread from 2013...lol  Really?