Years ago a mentor helped me to see that if we want someone to actually hear and think about our point of view we need to be mindful of the way we present it.
We should "attack" the topic, we should not "attack" the other person or people in the discussion.
If you watch for patterns, you'll see what I'm referencing.
Abusive, unkind remarks make ears close and hearts shut down, no one learns anything, no one comes away enlightened or enriched, and over time friendships can be lost.
When this happens, either the only goal is to agitate, poke, and insult (which is trolling, whether it's a new poster or established one), and they don't care if anyone "hears" them -- or the posters aren't aware how their comments come across.
And yes, here on the Community many really wonderful people are gone as a direct result of the manner in which threads are disrupted, hijacked, and the way posters are subjected to personal unpleasantness.
It's a real shame.
The Q moderators have a wide range of responsibilities far beyond trying to watch all the sub-forums, all the threads, all the replies to each thread, and then trying to weed out problematic patterns.
They also can't function the same as someone with a general chat site, because they answer to a global retail corporation.
I think, probably, when we have questions such as those raised in this thread the best avenue is to write respectful, carefully considered email messages to them. They are a thoughtful, kind-hearted, experienced team of people who will listen... but we do have to be mindful that there are considerations and constraints they can't tell us about.
If we really do care about the health and well-being of the Community and the people who populate it... each of us -- including moi -- must pay attention to and own up to the part we play. The kind of energy we bring to each discussion.
I think if we all take responsibility it would help improve and lighten the atmosphere.
I do worry that continued negativity and disruption may very well result in Qurate closing the Community.
Other forums have been shut down in favor of other social media, and we have no reason to think this one couldn't follow suit if it becomes more of a liability than an asset.
Thank you for an interesting thread, @Mimi 1883. I share much of the same frustrations. Good wishes to you and to all who read and post here. Be well, safe, and protected.❤️
Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
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