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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,838
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

I don't walk much. At the same time I don't continue a conversation with those that attack. I will continue with someone who can debate respectfully. Those are the people who's opinions I value.....even if we disagree. I guess as I have gotten a little older...not too much shocks me or bothers me all that much. Of course you have to allow for those who are just having a bad day. We have probably all said something we wished we hadn't.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,270
Registered: ‎04-20-2012
On 2/28/2015 jubilant said:

I don't walk much. At the same time I don't continue a conversation with those that attack. I will continue with someone who can debate respectfully. Those are the people who's opinions I value.....even if we disagree. I guess as I have gotten a little older...not too much shocks me or bothers me all that much. Of course you have to allow for those who are just having a bad day. We have probably all said something we wished we hadn't.

What I don't like is the threads that are created for the sole purpose of riling people up with an author who is an expert at debate who just waits for the fur to fly. I think many people end up biting the dust because of that person's threads and yes, she is one who debates respectfully....pushing many buttons along the way while espousing her contrarian point of view.

Super Contributor
Posts: 261
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

IlikeshadeSmiley Happy one of those times when I'd reached that point and vented with sarcasm.....

Thanks for letting me know I gave you a chuckleI had forgotten all about that post but can remember it now that you've jogged my head. Sure sounds like me.

Super Contributor
Posts: 578
Registered: ‎07-30-2011

I've discovered that the best way to avoid being hit with onrushing opposite opinions is to stay out of the middle lane!

As far as changing/not changing minds--99 year old activist Grace Lee Boggs said, "Once an idea is fixed, it is already dead".

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,838
Registered: ‎06-10-2010
On 2/28/2015 Ilikeshade said:
On 2/28/2015 jubilant said:

I don't walk much. At the same time I don't continue a conversation with those that attack. I will continue with someone who can debate respectfully. Those are the people who's opinions I value.....even if we disagree. I guess as I have gotten a little older...not too much shocks me or bothers me all that much. Of course you have to allow for those who are just having a bad day. We have probably all said something we wished we hadn't.

What I don't like is the threads that are created for the sole purpose of riling people up with an author who is an expert at debate who just waits for the fur to fly. I think many people end up biting the dust because of that person's threads and yes, she is one who debates respectfully....pushing many buttons along the way while espousing her contrarian point of view.

For me, if I know that a thread is meant to "get us going".... I simply state my opinion and refuse to argue. It is my right to have my opinion no matter how good of a debater she is. Someone can be "respectful" (or appear to be respectful) in a debate and still be way too adamant about getting their point across. When that goes on for too long....I know it's no longer a debate and it is a matter of control and having to be right. That is not allowing room for other peoples opinions and, while this poster may not be using harsh words, the abuse is still there....it may be subtle...but it is abusive none the less. If we keep feeding the discussion, at that point, we are just as guilty of stirring that pot as she is....imo.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,471
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

I used to try and dispute things a lot more than I do know. Most of the time no matter how much you would try and defend your position or try to clarify how you felt, it just seemed to escalate. I will totally avoid a lot of subjects that upset, anger, or perturb me because I know if I throw my two cents in, it will just snow ball.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010
On 3/1/2015 jubilant said:
On 2/28/2015 Ilikeshade said:
On 2/28/2015 jubilant said:

I don't walk much. At the same time I don't continue a conversation with those that attack. I will continue with someone who can debate respectfully. Those are the people who's opinions I value.....even if we disagree. I guess as I have gotten a little older...not too much shocks me or bothers me all that much. Of course you have to allow for those who are just having a bad day. We have probably all said something we wished we hadn't.

What I don't like is the threads that are created for the sole purpose of riling people up with an author who is an expert at debate who just waits for the fur to fly. I think many people end up biting the dust because of that person's threads and yes, she is one who debates respectfully....pushing many buttons along the way while espousing her contrarian point of view.

For me, if I know that a thread is meant to "get us going".... I simply state my opinion and refuse to argue. It is my right to have my opinion no matter how good of a debater she is. Someone can be "respectful" (or appear to be respectful) in a debate and still be way too adamant about getting their point across. When that goes on for too long....I know it's no longer a debate and it is a matter of control and having to be right. That is not allowing room for other peoples opinions and, while this poster may not be using harsh words, the abuse is still there....it may be subtle...but it is abusive none the less. If we keep feeding the discussion, at that point, we are just as guilty of stirring that pot as she is....imo.

You said it well, Jubilant. My sentiments as well. And the pot-stirring thread-starters (there are a recognizable handful of them) are so sure that no one could possibly see what they're doing (and continue to do, week after week). Riiiight. You can instantly see by the thread title, the original poster and the original post what the ultimate purpose of the thread is. For some posters, it is simply to get other posters to be delete-worthy so the OP can opine about how mean and nasty other people "always" are to them, and chortle with glee over being able to coax posts or threads to the point of deletion. Really pitiful - and very, very obvious.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,838
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Thank you, moonchilde. You're right about it being pitiful. They are the type that end up lonely old people and wonder why no one calls on them.{#emotions_dlg.confused1}

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,250
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Sometimes I would like to post my thoughts but think ""What is the point"".

I wish we could express our feelings without the thread getting rude and hateful comments.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,358
Registered: ‎02-21-2014
On 3/1/2015 Sister Golden Hair said:

Sometimes I would like to post my thoughts but think ""What is the point"".

I wish we could express our feelings without the thread getting rude and hateful comments.

Ita.


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