update on my highly sensitive co-worker - Page 7

bikerbabe · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/20/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/20/2015 4KICKS said:
Terrier3:

Your experience has me just shaking my head. I am so glad I am now out of the working world. There are words I would use to describe your former co-worker, but not here. I admire your patience and how you handled the situation.

Wow, just wow.

Based on what this OP is going through - and my personal experience - "highly sensitive" appears to be a code word for bi-polar, schizophrenic, or just plain batty...

Am I mistaken or did you mentioned previously that you've acted as a counselor? If so that's an inappropriate statement for a counselor IMO.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

I just took that test and checked 12 of them. I don't think it's very definitive, however. Some of the things I had to check had nothing to do with personality traits. Some of them were about sensory situations due to my tinnitus and some of them were due to childhood trauma.

I don't even know if this thing is legitimate or not but, based on their test, I have my doubts.

There are all kinds of personality traits and combinations of personality traits. I don't think we need to label them all, otherwise there would be a LOT of labels!

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

On 3/21/2015 chickenbutt said:
I just took that test and checked 12 of them. I don't think it's very definitive, however. Some of the things I had to check had nothing to do with personality traits. Some of them were about sensory situations due to my tinnitus and some of them were due to childhood trauma.

I don't even know if this thing is legitimate or not but, based on their test, I have my doubts.

There are all kinds of personality traits and combinations of personality traits. I don't think we need to label them all, otherwise there would be a LOT of labels!

I don't know about highly sensitive but from your posts you seem highly empathetic. A good thing.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

That means a lot to me, Occasional Rain. I feel like I mostly come off as cold, distant, and uncaring to most people. I guess it's just part of the survival mode that I've been in since I was a small child. But I do strive to be empathetic. It matters how others feel and WHY they feel that way. Sometimes it seems like people who have never lived through hardship don't understand that different people have different feelings that are just as legitimate as theirs.

kdgn · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/21/2015 chickenbutt said:
That means a lot to me, Occasional Rain. I feel like I mostly come off as cold, distant, and uncaring to most people. I guess it's just part of the survival mode that I've been in since I was a small child. But I do strive to be empathetic. It matters how others feel and WHY they feel that way. Sometimes it seems like people who have never lived through hardship don't understand that different people have different feelings that are just as legitimate as theirs.

Not here, chickenbutt. That's just the opposite of how I "see" you-

moonstone dunes · ‎11-06-2011

On 3/21/2015 kdgn said:
On 3/21/2015 chickenbutt said:
That means a lot to me, Occasional Rain. I feel like I mostly come off as cold, distant, and uncaring to most people. I guess it's just part of the survival mode that I've been in since I was a small child. But I do strive to be empathetic. It matters how others feel and WHY they feel that way. Sometimes it seems like people who have never lived through hardship don't understand that different people have different feelings that are just as legitimate as theirs.

Not here, chickenbutt. That's just the opposite of how I "see" you-

I too see you as a fun, empathetic personality Chickenbutt.

I enjoy your posts ! and if I didn't read your posts I never would have known about the chalazza !

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/21/2015 moonstone dunes said:
On 3/21/2015 kdgn said:
On 3/21/2015 chickenbutt said:
That means a lot to me, Occasional Rain. I feel like I mostly come off as cold, distant, and uncaring to most people. I guess it's just part of the survival mode that I've been in since I was a small child. But I do strive to be empathetic. It matters how others feel and WHY they feel that way. Sometimes it seems like people who have never lived through hardship don't understand that different people have different feelings that are just as legitimate as theirs.

Not here, chickenbutt. That's just the opposite of how I "see" you-

I too see you as a fun, empathetic personality Chickenbutt.

I enjoy your posts ! and if I didn't read your posts I never would have known about the chalazza !

Thanks, Ladies. It means so much to me that I'm not always seen as cold as I do know sometimes I seem to be. If I can make one person a day feel like they're not alone, or make at least one person laugh - it's a very good day!

OMG, the chalaza! Oh, it corrected me so I guess there's only one 'z'. Who knew! Anyway, well just - UGH! Every single time I pull out eggs to cook with (they gross me out so I don't eat them but I use them in baking and making omelets for the bird) out comes my 'Tidee Egg'. Best thing ever! I cannot stand to leave that stuff in there. I'm a nut, I know.

adelle38 · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/21/2015 terrier3 said:
On 3/21/2015 YorkieonmyPillow said:
On 3/21/2015 adelle38 said:
I'm glad you ladies find this amusing but to a survivor of abuse being touched suddenly by someone you don't know or barely know isn't a laughing matter. Just because terrier's coworker, according to her, carried it to an extreme, it doesn't make it OK.

This thread isn't about abuse. Clearly, there was no abuse during the incident.

If you find a touch difficult to allow in a friendly or helpful circumstance...I have to wonder if you are a "survivor" of abuse. It sounds as if you still have many unresolved issues and may need some outside counseling to learn how to interact in the world.

I am not saying this to be flippant or to deny your pain when being touched on the arm or tapped on the shoulder in a friendly manner. But no one deserves to have to remain in that state of hypersensitivity...you need to continue your healing process to be able to accept friendly gestures.

First of all, I never said there was abuse during the incident.

Second, you are inferring that I was abused when I was merely saying that people who have a history of abuse can find any type of touching by a relative stranger as threatening even if you perceive it as a "friendly gesture".

Third, to get back to your original story, every HR person I know has stressed that it's never OK to touch someone in the workplace without their consent no matter what your intentions may be.

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

If someone flips out over a friendly tap on the shoulder, what do they do when someone accidentally bumps in to them? Have a melt-down?

There is nothing wrong with a friendly "excuse me" tap.

That's not invading someones "personal space".

I'll even put my hand on someones back, to let them know that I am behind them.

Horrors!

Have me arrested!

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/21/2015 Plaid Pants said:
If someone flips out over a friendly tap on the shoulder, what do they do when someone accidentally bumps in to them? Have a melt-down?

There is nothing wrong with a friendly "excuse me" tap.

That's not invading someones "personal space".

I'll even put my hand on someones back, to let them know that I am behind them.

Horrors!

Have me arrested!

While I understand what you're saying, I also understand the other POV on it. I live inside my head a lot and I'll jump when somebody comes up behind me or suddenly touches me if I didn't know they were there. If that makes me a freak, that's ok. I know I'm messed up but people feel the way they feel, so there ya have it.

My husband routinely scares the krap out of me. He doesn't mean to and it's actually not him, but me. I'll be going along, probably thinking about something because I'm always thinking, and he shows up in the room and I jump a foot. Every time. You'd think I would get used to him showing up suddenly. But I don't after all these years.

Nothing wrong with what you do, as long as it doesn't startle somebody. Some of us just startle easier than others and it's usually for legitimate reasons. It still doesn't mean you (the other person) did anything wrong. It just is what it is.