Re: to love OR to be loved?

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@fourpaws56 wrote:
I would choose a cat

Another vote for a cat!

candys mine · ‎08-20-2012

Like the songs say..Love hurts. and You can't make someone feel something they don't. To love is your own personal truth. It is to give rather than expect to recieve. At the start it would be easier to take the one she loves. Safer to take the one who idolizes her. Either way It's a bitter life ahead. Can she choose to leave them both behind?

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@mollybgood wrote:
I would choose the man who loved me more
than anyone else ever had, even though I loved
him less. In any relationship, the love is not
divided up evenly.

Very interesting way to look at it @mollybgood. I feel the same way.

*Call Tyrone*

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@esmerelda wrote:
That was the choice a character in a book I'm currently reading needed to make.

To choose a man she loved more than anyone she'd ever loved and who she felt didn't love her as much as she loved him, or to choose the man who loved her more than anyone else ever had, even though she loved him less.

How would you choose?
@esmerelda

What book are you reading?

If I am understanding your comparison correctly, the man she loves deeply loves her "a little". She loves the man who loves her very much "a little".

I've been in a situation where the man loved me more, and it's sad to not be able to return those feelings. To love a man deeply and he's not feeling that way is also rather sad.

IMO, these are not the only possibilities .... I think she should just move on and look elsewhere to find a relationship where there is more balance. With either of those two men, someone is going to get short-changed in love.

@Tinkrbl44 The book was The Last Town, last book in the Wayward Pines trilogy on which the FOX TV series of 3 or 4 years ago was based. I avoided the series; but since reading the books I've added it to my Netflix list.

The one guy that she loved more than anyone else was her husband and they had a child. So the possibility of her moving on probably wasn't there.

The guy who loved her more than anyone ever had...they knew each other, he was her husband's boss, he pursued her. I think her love for him, was more like gratitude or appreciation. I don't think it was love love.

For myself...if I loved someone who was everything I wanted, I hope he would love me as much or more. But if he didn't, as long as he loved me some, and respected me...I'd still love him.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Susan in California · ‎06-02-2014

When I was younger, a dear friend's mother always said to marry someone who loves you more than you love him. I guess I always remembered this. My mother always said to marry someone who is a friend first.

My friend followed her mother's advice: She married a man from a very wealthy,

old money family. When she married him, she told me she wasn't that crazy about him, but her mother kept pushing her to marry him. She had met him when she was a college student, but never dated him until they ran into each other rather unexpectedly in NYC. He pursued her relentlessly.

When they married, there was a bi-coastal write up in the newspapers about this wedding. Within four years, she divorced him. I remember visiting them after about two years of marriage. They lived in Manhattan on Central Park West, and she was miserable.

She remarried and lives here in CA. (about 40 years ago!)

I do think it is important to marry a man who loves you. But likewise, you must

love him as well.

We know two couples very well who are still married. My husband was the best man for one couple. On their wedding day, he told my husband he didn't love his new wife. They have stayed married and he has been a sad, unhappy man in the relationship (and unfair to the woman he married) this whole time.

The other couple is more my friend and her husband. She told me she has never loved her husband. And now he is sick, they have been married about

43 years, and she has many regrets.