Community Chat

[Deree]

Genetics and environment.

[esmerelda]

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@SilleeMee wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@SilleeMee wrote:

In this country if you come from a poor family you will probably die poor. It's extremely difficult to change being poor no matter how hard someone tries. 

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I disagree.  The first example that comes to mind is Dr. Ben Carson.  I'm

sure there are thousands more, less known.

The kind of thinking you expressed is what keeps people poor.  "I'm poor, I guess I'll stay poor."  How discouraging!!

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I agree, it is discouraging and I think that's part of why many people are very angry and unhappy. If a poor person continues to believe in that American Dream, they will be very unhappy and find out it is not all what it is made out to be.

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Maybe “American Dream” is being taken too literally and should be changed to “American Work For It.”

[JYWilliams]

I believe it is some of both.

[masque]

too many vaiables to answer -- "this not that"

Without sufficient data, or sufficient prior information, it will not prove a very fruitful exercise

[suzyQ3]

Those who suggest that others "work" for it or that of course they can overcome their environment have in all likelihood have never experienced what the rest of us are talking about. It's a nice platitude, embodied in "just pull yourself up by your own bootstraps," but it is, when all is said and done, a myth and not contradicted by an example here and there.

Besides, even when one such individual prevails, let's look at how that happened. I'd bet my house that that individual benefited from good will and luck along the way.

[chickenbutt]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Those who suggest that others "work" for it or that of course they can overcome their environment have in all likelihood have never experienced what the rest of us are talking about. It's a nice platitude, embodied in "just pull yourself up by your own bootstraps," but it is, when all is said and done, a myth and not contradicted by an example here and there.

Besides, even when one such individual prevails, let's look at how that happened. I'd bet my house that that individual benefited from good will and luck along the way.

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Yes!    (Hey Suz!)

I really, honestly, AM glad that many people have not gone through what some of us have.    If they had, they would probably have a different POV on the whole 'get over it, pull yourself up, etc' things.   

The things I, and others here, have said are true - When you are in your formative years, these things become a huge part of who you end up being.  There are kernels of the abuses that re-shape your person.

For example - I never had any type of familial bonding.   While I understand it on an intellectual level, I am 100% unable to relate to it on any other level.   I have no idea and no ability to bond with humans like that at all.   For us, growing up, it was 'survival of the fittest'.   You each found your own way to survive through it but that, in no way, negated the profound damage that was being done. 

We were poor but that doesn't even come in the top 50 of why I am so damaged.    When you are abused in every way, you become very clinical in the effort to get through it and learn how to not emotionalize things because that just weakens you in your ability to survive it.  Then you grow up and all that mish-mash together is the confused person you end up being.

I didn't know how to care for others and how to have others care about me.   Truly, I had no idea.   I had to learn to try and be as much like everybody else as I could.  On the exterior that went fine.  But all the rest was just confusion and constantly trying to figure things out.

I wish it were as easy as some would have it.  I really do!    I am really glad for those who will never have to negociate through these things. 

[Drythe]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Those who suggest that others "work" for it or that of course they can overcome their environment have in all likelihood have never experienced what the rest of us are talking about. It's a nice platitude, embodied in "just pull yourself up by your own bootstraps," but it is, when all is said and done, a myth and not contradicted by an example here and there.

Besides, even when one such individual prevails, let's look at how that happened. I'd bet my house that that individual benefited from good will and luck along the way.

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@suzyQ3 

Yep.  actually having boot straps helps too.

[Drythe]

The Opening Post doesn’t specify America only, so my thoughts go to people in general.

Thinking about it globally makes a difference.

[Snowpuppy]

@esmerelda  You said it girl, you gotta work for it. A dream without a plan is merely a wish. People have forgotten the word sacrifice.

I had a coworker I considered absolutely brilliant yet he had only a HS diploma. He said "if God didnt make you a millionaire, then you gotta figure it out". How to achieve what you want with very little money.

Life isnt a bowl of chocolates, its a Rubic's Cube. A puzzle that the human mind must decipher. We have forgotten the ingenuity that got our relatives thru the Great Depression when almost nobody had money.  

You stare at your dilema long enough without giving up the answers will present themselves.

[Drythe]

@chickenbutt 

understand what you are saying, and am glad you made it through!

Often think of this saying,

“I lost a finn in the war of life, so I swim with a list, still, I swim.”

Early on I knew that my best interests we're in my own hands.

It does leave a scar. ♥️️