Re: "Why Are The Baby Boomers In Such a Bad Mood?"

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Moonchilde wrote:
@StraytoStay wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
@Naki-Poo wrote:
I believe that most of them are afraid of dying one day. I believe that if you have a few bucks i mean more than 20K you need to start having fun and travel cause who will get your money your grand kids and they will spend it faster than it took you 50 yrs of working will ever. I dont have any grandkids.. thank god for us. I chose to travel. my kids do not care about me or my traveling they say mom, dad go and have some fun.. I have 8 children and they all live in different states and dont want any kids.. good for me, not so good for them when they get old.

I chose not to have gd kids for a few reasons, its gonna cost me bucks, I do have bucks i want to use my retirement on clothes and travel, which I love the best and my cats and dogs as well.

I feel that baby boomers can not give their grand kids the things that they gave their own kids so they rely on us. What can I say.

I also told all my kids when they first got a job I get half of their pay, each of them, two went into military no pay on them, but the rest gave it to me no questions, even my little Natalie who worked for 40.00 a day at a daycare she still managed to give me 20 bucks, when it was time for her to go to college I had saved enough money to give her the education she wanted, even if its only part time work. The boys all 5 of them, got good jobs and when it was ready for them to get married, they all got wedding presents from us with their half salaries from which they gave to me, without intrest to me. I was their bank,. my 3 girls...started to save on the side pocket after they married two of them are now without husbands but I still have their little nest egg... two still live with me, and they still contribute with me on funds.. they live here they must pay the piper mom. so I think bad mood is that they overspending... so when they die their children will have to get them out of bailing.
This is a joke, right? We're all going to die one day...nothing to fear. It's inevitable. My concern is bitterness and feelings of entitlement that would make someone feel it's OK to demand payment from their children & spend whatever they have so that they leave nothing to them. In this case, God blessed her w/ no grandchildren. The buck literally stops here. Wow!!!

@Shanus

I still would like to know how SHE chose not to have grandchildren.

Last time I checked, that decision really wasn't up to her.

It's up to her kids to decide if they want to become parents or not.

She has little to no say in that department.

I mean, what is she gonna do, if one of her kids becomes a parent?

I was wondering the same thing.
I know a lady (a real piece of work), who doesn't get along with her husband's daughter from his first marriage, that didn't accept the role as grandma. It's sad for the little girl, she probably wonders why grandpa's wife isn't grandma, but calls her by her first name.

I used to work with a woman who had three adult children who were very successful in the film & TV industry. She doted on her grandchildren - with the emphasis on her. One of her children adopted one of their children's friends to take her out of an ugly neglectful, abusive home situation.

This co-worker never failed to differentiate between her "real" grandchildren and "the girl my son (or was it daughter?) adopted, her "other" granddaughter - in the way she spoke of her and about her, what gifts she was deemed worthy of vs her "real" granddaughters, and the days out she "had" to have with this "other" granddaughter - whom she would not include when she took her "real" granddaughters out for an occasion.

It made me sick to my stomach - and madder than he**.

As the mother of a (grown) adopted son, I have always objected to people making a point of the difference. When my kids were toddlers, people would ask, "Now, which one is adopted?" My answer, "Geeeez, I can't remember"!!!!

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

@Imaoldhippie wrote:
Im a boomer and darn proud of it. Yes we have been put out to pasture. IMHO the reason we seem unhappy and grumpy is because we have seen this country destroyed, its no longer the land of the free, we are manipulated and controlled by so many people. Our freedoms have been infringed in many areas. I could go on and on but I dont want to cause a flurry of snarkisums.

I was thinking the same thing @Imaoldhippie. There are many, many reasons that "I'm in a bad mood" that other generations don't have to deal with, but I'm not going to bother to list them for the same reason as you!

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

@Moonchilde wrote:
@september wrote:
I'm another one puzzled as to how someone can choose to not become a grandparent. And she says she has a lot of kids, too!

I had no choice and now have two wonderful granddaughters.....hope to have many more.

Well...you can refuse to acknowledge that you're "grandma." My maternal grandmother forbid me or my older sister from calling her "grandma" and insisted we call her by her given name. Neither one of us were comfortable with that - telling a 9 year old (in my case) that you're not allowed to call your grandma "grandma?" Very creepy IMO. We compromised in that my mother came up with a "nickname" we were "allowed" to call her.

No, she was not a cheery, grandmotherly, warm person :-(

How awful. My greatest joy in life is being a grandmom. Since becoming one four years ago, "grandmom" is my favorite word!

AngusandBuddhasMom · ‎03-10-2010

@SharkE wrote:
@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@SharkE wrote:
Husband heard her, read my post again. Believe me when people overhear that somebody else is getting a legal break they want to know how they can get it too.
My reading is fine. Again you did not hear her. And not for nothing I am fifty my Mortgage is paid off and I would love to not pay my high taxes in NJ. But then again if the highest taxed states in the Union don't pay how could states like yours be able to get away with not paying. You know entitlement and all...

My point is someone else is always paying and since you don't know what that young woman was filling out or what her lot in life is. You shouldn't assume she is expecting some sort of entitlement.
Tx. property is sky high ! Up in INd. I had 20 acres for 2,000 a yr. down here I got 2 1/2 for 4,000. We don't have state income tax why the property is so high. Sales tax is 8.25% too. They make it up also by making you have annual car inspections, if your car don't pass, no plates.
Check your state you might have the same law .

Each state makes up it's own law. Your state has nothing to do with any other State. Because of all the uninsured minorities in Tx. I believe we have higher car insurance, too.

I trust my husband and he knows what he heard. Everybody expects entitlement, it's human nature. If I'm buying a burger for 4.00 and the man next to me gets his for 1.00 I'm gonna say "hey, why is his burger a buck"? HUMAN NATURE !

No you do not pay a higher car insurance premium in Texas then I do in NJ you can believe that but that does not make it a fact. I also pay one of the highest State Taxes in the Nation as well as Property Tax. And it is the NY tri-state area and California who pay the highest in taxes that subsidize other states. And if you think we don't try surviving a natural disaster without the funds from our states. The federal Gov't rely's heavily on our taxes. That is why after Sandy and states like Texas said no to helping us with federal funds we were so outraged. We are the first to help and so for us to get that kind of response was egregious at best.

As for that comment about uninsured minorities wow. I don't even want to assume who you mean by that comment. Because having worked in subrogation law I know it is not "minorities" that cause accidents and try to get over on insurance companies. That causes rates to escalate.

I do not expect entitlement I work and I know there are a lot of hard working people who are the invisible people in this country. So glad you are getting a break. Your welcome.

And again your husband has no clue what that girl was there for so for the two of you to be so indignant says more about your character then hers.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Shanus wrote:
@Moonchilde wrote:
@StraytoStay wrote:
@Irshgrl31201 wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
@Naki-Poo wrote:
I believe that most of them are afraid of dying one day. I believe that if you have a few bucks i mean more than 20K you need to start having fun and travel cause who will get your money your grand kids and they will spend it faster than it took you 50 yrs of working will ever. I dont have any grandkids.. thank god for us. I chose to travel. my kids do not care about me or my traveling they say mom, dad go and have some fun.. I have 8 children and they all live in different states and dont want any kids.. good for me, not so good for them when they get old.

I chose not to have gd kids for a few reasons, its gonna cost me bucks, I do have bucks i want to use my retirement on clothes and travel, which I love the best and my cats and dogs as well.

I feel that baby boomers can not give their grand kids the things that they gave their own kids so they rely on us. What can I say.

I also told all my kids when they first got a job I get half of their pay, each of them, two went into military no pay on them, but the rest gave it to me no questions, even my little Natalie who worked for 40.00 a day at a daycare she still managed to give me 20 bucks, when it was time for her to go to college I had saved enough money to give her the education she wanted, even if its only part time work. The boys all 5 of them, got good jobs and when it was ready for them to get married, they all got wedding presents from us with their half salaries from which they gave to me, without intrest to me. I was their bank,. my 3 girls...started to save on the side pocket after they married two of them are now without husbands but I still have their little nest egg... two still live with me, and they still contribute with me on funds.. they live here they must pay the piper mom. so I think bad mood is that they overspending... so when they die their children will have to get them out of bailing.
This is a joke, right? We're all going to die one day...nothing to fear. It's inevitable. My concern is bitterness and feelings of entitlement that would make someone feel it's OK to demand payment from their children & spend whatever they have so that they leave nothing to them. In this case, God blessed her w/ no grandchildren. The buck literally stops here. Wow!!!

@Shanus

I still would like to know how SHE chose not to have grandchildren.

Last time I checked, that decision really wasn't up to her.

It's up to her kids to decide if they want to become parents or not.

She has little to no say in that department.

I mean, what is she gonna do, if one of her kids becomes a parent?

I was wondering the same thing.
I know a lady (a real piece of work), who doesn't get along with her husband's daughter from his first marriage, that didn't accept the role as grandma. It's sad for the little girl, she probably wonders why grandpa's wife isn't grandma, but calls her by her first name.

I used to work with a woman who had three adult children who were very successful in the film & TV industry. She doted on her grandchildren - with the emphasis on her. One of her children adopted one of their children's friends to take her out of an ugly neglectful, abusive home situation.

This co-worker never failed to differentiate between her "real" grandchildren and "the girl my son (or was it daughter?) adopted, her "other" granddaughter - in the way she spoke of her and about her, what gifts she was deemed worthy of vs her "real" granddaughters, and the days out she "had" to have with this "other" granddaughter - whom she would not include when she took her "real" granddaughters out for an occasion.

It made me sick to my stomach - and madder than he**.
As the mother of a (grown) adopted son, I have always objected to people making a point of the difference. When my kids were toddlers, people would ask, "Now, which one is adopted?" My answer, "Geeeez, I can't remember"!!!!

@Shanus....my mom was just like you. My grandmother on my dad's side, never sent me a birthday card or wanted anything to do with me. She used to say I was too thin not of the same nationality and did not look like any of them. I was happy about that, though. My mom said to me "Be thankful you don't." LOL

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Trinity11. You were lucky to have your Mom on your side....otherwise a child's insecurities can never be fully healed.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

What I see is a lot of baby boomers who are supporting kids and grandkids and trying to cope with the issues of parents in their 90s who are in terrible physical condition and outliving their money. So this generation is often caught being the caretakers and responsible for everyone older and younger than them.

That's staring a lot of boomers in the face as their lot in life for their golden years. For those of you in this situation, God bless and help you.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Sooner wrote:
What I see is a lot of baby boomers who are supporting kids and grandkids and trying to cope with the issues of parents in their 90s who are in terrible physical condition and outliving their money. So this generation is often caught being the caretakers and responsible for everyone older and younger than them.

That's staring a lot of boomers in the face as their lot in life for their golden years. For those of you in this situation, God bless and help you.

Yes, I'm in that situation now. Dad passed away, but Mom is 89. Fortunetly she has long term care insurance and my Dad left her more than secure financially. Being her only child, though, I am responsible for all the big health decisions. My daughter & husband are self sufficient financially and my son (& family) are reaping the benefits of a new job near us with a large raise and huge benefits. We did help him purchase his house since his place in VA has not sold...so no $ for a down payment.

We're of this situation (you mentioned) now and will continue to save for our retirement.

abbeythe 8th · ‎04-17-2010

@Naki-Poo wrote:
I believe that most of them are afraid of dying one day. I believe that if you have a few bucks i mean more than 20K you need to start having fun and travel cause who will get your money your grand kids and they will spend it faster than it took you 50 yrs of working will ever. I dont have any grandkids.. thank god for us. I chose to travel. my kids do not care about me or my traveling they say mom, dad go and have some fun.. I have 8 children and they all live in different states and dont want any kids.. good for me, not so good for them when they get old.

I chose not to have gd kids for a few reasons, its gonna cost me bucks, I do have bucks i want to use my retirement on clothes and travel, which I love the best and my cats and dogs as well.

I feel that baby boomers can not give their grand kids the things that they gave their own kids so they rely on us. What can I say.

I also told all my kids when they first got a job I get half of their pay, each of them, two went into military no pay on them, but the rest gave it to me no questions, even my little Natalie who worked for 40.00 a day at a daycare she still managed to give me 20 bucks, when it was time for her to go to college I had saved enough money to give her the education she wanted, even if its only part time work. The boys all 5 of them, got good jobs and when it was ready for them to get married, they all got wedding presents from us with their half salaries from which they gave to me, without intrest to me. I was their bank,. my 3 girls...started to save on the side pocket after they married two of them are now without husbands but I still have their little nest egg... two still live with me, and they still contribute with me on funds.. they live here they must pay the piper mom. so I think bad mood is that they overspending... so when they die their children will have to get them out of bailing.

I must be missing something here.

DREAMON · ‎03-09-2010

@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@SharkE wrote:
@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:
@SharkE wrote:
Husband heard her, read my post again. Believe me when people overhear that somebody else is getting a legal break they want to know how they can get it too.
My reading is fine. Again you did not hear her. And not for nothing I am fifty my Mortgage is paid off and I would love to not pay my high taxes in NJ. But then again if the highest taxed states in the Union don't pay how could states like yours be able to get away with not paying. You know entitlement and all...

My point is someone else is always paying and since you don't know what that young woman was filling out or what her lot in life is. You shouldn't assume she is expecting some sort of entitlement.
Tx. property is sky high ! Up in INd. I had 20 acres for 2,000 a yr. down here I got 2 1/2 for 4,000. We don't have state income tax why the property is so high. Sales tax is 8.25% too. They make it up also by making you have annual car inspections, if your car don't pass, no plates.
Check your state you might have the same law .

Each state makes up it's own law. Your state has nothing to do with any other State. Because of all the uninsured minorities in Tx. I believe we have higher car insurance, too.

I trust my husband and he knows what he heard. Everybody expects entitlement, it's human nature. If I'm buying a burger for 4.00 and the man next to me gets his for 1.00 I'm gonna say "hey, why is his burger a buck"? HUMAN NATURE !
No you do not pay a higher car insurance premium in Texas then I do in NJ you can believe that but that does not make it a fact. I also pay one of the highest State Taxes in the Nation as well as Property Tax. And it is the NY tri-state area and California who pay the highest in taxes that subsidize other states. And if you think we don't try surviving a natural disaster without the funds from our states. The federal Gov't rely's heavily on our taxes. That is why after Sandy and states like Texas said no to helping us with federal funds we were so outraged. We are the first to help and so for us to get that kind of response was egregious at best.

As for that comment about uninsured minorities wow. I don't even want to assume who you mean by that comment. Because having worked in subrogation law I know it is not "minorities" that cause accidents and try to get over on insurance companies. That causes rates to escalate.

I do not expect entitlement I work and I know there are a lot of hard working people who are the invisible people in this country. So glad you are getting a break. Your welcome.

And again your husband has no clue what that girl was there for so for the two of you to be so indignant says more about your character then hers.