"White lies"? Do you think some lies are ok? - Page 5

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Moonchilde wrote:
IMO, those who swear up and down that they have never, and will never, ever, tell *any type* of fib, untruth, lie, etc. under any circumstances, are lying. Or very unpleasant people to be around.

Exactly.

And I'll add that a lie by omission is still a lie.

Scooby Doo · ‎03-14-2010

Whether people care to admit it or not, every single person has at one time or another told a white lie. The parameters differ from person to person.

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

I hven't read the other responses. . . My answer would be a decided "yes." Many times it saves people's feelings from being hurt, or bridges over an awkward moment. It's a social skill.

If a higher power is keeping score, I don't think that higher power counts fibs told to be kind to people. What counts are cruelty, violence, and destruction. A white lie is often intended to avoid being cruel, etc.

sweetee2 · ‎06-21-2015

Sweetee2 Many years ago I had a medical emergency. At the age of 46 I thought I was having some pain in my left arm over the weekend. On Thursday I decided to go to my doctor just for the heck of it. Ended up having a large mass growing over my heart. Had our number 1 heart specialist where I live remove the mass. It took them 30 days to find out for sure whether it was cancer or not . He told my family that it was. By the time he called me I thought I was going to loose my mind. He finally called and it was not cancer. He said that he didn't think it was. I asked him why he told my family it was cancer. He answer was "what if I had told them it wasn't and it was. My advice just keep your mouth shut. There is no reason to lie about anything.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@itiswhatitis wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
I do not like lying of any kind. Yes, in the past, I have told white lies to spare another's feelings. If we are to be honest, very few people have not done that a time or two in their life. As I have gotten older, I have tried to find kind things to say to those "loaded questions". Such as, "hey if you feel good in it..... that's all that counts"....and other such phrases. I have seen one too many people get carried away with "white lies" and use it as crutch to not be open and truthful at times when that is what is needed. I don't think people mean any harm by it most of the time.
1. YOU UNDERMINE PEOPLE'S TRUST.
If a friend overhears you tell a lie to someone else, especially if it’s told in a way that seemed genuine, you damage your relationship. "You’ve just revealed that you’re willing to lie when it suits your purpose," says Harris. "If the friend is sensitive to it, they’ll notice that their trust in you has been diminished–-even if the lie had nothing to do with them. And they’ll question how often you’ve told them a lie."

White lies can be especially damaging if your children overhear them. "You are your kids' greatest source of safety," says Harris. "When you demonstrate that you are willing to deceive, you diminish that sense of security they have in you."

More to read here: http://www.fastcompany.com/3027541/why-all-your-little-white-lies-arent-as-harmless-as-you-think

If I overheard a friend telling a lie of kindness and compassion, I would think only what a good, kind person they are. And what a good, kind friend they are to that person.

IMO hypocrites are more offensive to me than fibbers out of kindness.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@Burnsite wrote:
I hven't read the other responses. . . My answer would be a decided "yes." Many times it saves people's feelings from being hurt, or bridges over an awkward moment. It's a social skill.

If a higher power is keeping score, I don't think that higher power counts fibs told to be kind to people. What counts are cruelty, violence, and destruction. A white lie is often intended to avoid being cruel, etc.

That is how I based my decision on whether "White lies" are o.k. "My higher power" considers them lies. So yes a lie (fib/white lie) is still a lie to my higher power.

*Call Tyrone*

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@sweetee2 wrote:
Sweetee2 Many years ago I had a medical emergency. At the age of 46 I thought I was having some pain in my left arm over the weekend. On Thursday I decided to go to my doctor just for the heck of it. Ended up having a large mass growing over my heart. Had our number 1 heart specialist where I live remove the mass. It took them 30 days to find out for sure whether it was cancer or not . He told my family that it was. By the time he called me I thought I was going to loose my mind. He finally called and it was not cancer. He said that he didn't think it was. I asked him why he told my family it was cancer. He answer was "what if I had told them it wasn't and it was. My advice just keep your mouth shut. There is no reason to lie about anything.

This is a really ethical dilemma in medicine. Depending on what school of thought your doctor subscribes to, means the world of difference.

*Call Tyrone*

JustJazzmom · ‎03-09-2010

And what if someone mentions or files some information to one organization and mentions (files) just the opposite to another organization-- is that a white lie or a blatant lie?

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

@sweetee2 wrote:
Sweetee2 Many years ago I had a medical emergency. At the age of 46 I thought I was having some pain in my left arm over the weekend. On Thursday I decided to go to my doctor just for the heck of it. Ended up having a large mass growing over my heart. Had our number 1 heart specialist where I live remove the mass. It took them 30 days to find out for sure whether it was cancer or not . He told my family that it was. By the time he called me I thought I was going to loose my mind. He finally called and it was not cancer. He said that he didn't think it was. I asked him why he told my family it was cancer. He answer was "what if I had told them it wasn't and it was. My advice just keep your mouth shut. There is no reason to lie about anything.

That's bizarre! If he didn't have the pathology report back, why not just say he doesn't know yet? I have never heard of a doctor doing this. I'm glad you had such a good specialist to remove the growth and that it turned out to be benign, though!

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@ROMARY wrote:
It's a matter of degree........some folks lie about having (not not having) serious medical problems. That, to me, is an outright lie, possibly with various hidden 'agendas'. Or they just can't help themselves.

The utility as rule or act? Of interest from an ethical point of view.

http://www.iep.utm.edu/util-a-r/

*Call Tyrone*