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06-22-2016 04:01 PM
@jaxs mom wrote:I have no problem lying when people ask things that they have no right to know in the first place. Depending on who it is, I will tell them it's none of their business but sometimes that isn't the best way to handle it. For example, a coworker or your boss.
I'm also ok with Drs telling family members that the person didn't suffer when they actually did. It really serves no purpose to tell them their loved one died a horrible death. But don't tell the patient a lie, especially not when they ask for the truth.
There's more than one way to say "it's none of your business." One of my favorites is: "I'd prefer not to say." I can do this in a way that makes no one look bad. If a compliment is given and someone say's where did you get that? If I don't want to say, oh, this old thing....it's nothing and keep it moving. It's an "art" I've learned to get me through life with nosey people.
I have no experience with telling someone about death and how they died. However, I would imagine if it is a terrible disease then I would explain it as best as I could. Here, you don't have to be gruesome. It's not what you say sometimes; it's how you say it.
Yes, I want my doctors to tell me the truth!
06-22-2016 04:07 PM
@itiswhatitis wrote:No. A White lie is still a lie. Making it white doesn't delineate that fact at all.
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I don't think anyone said a white lie is not a lie.
The question is "are some lies OK". The answer to this is sometimes, yes.
If a white lie saves someone from having their feelings hurt unecessarily then it is a mercy not a sin.
06-22-2016 04:10 PM
@mstyrion 1 wrote:
@itiswhatitis wrote:No. A White lie is still a lie. Making it white doesn't delineate that fact at all.
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I don't think anyone said a white lie is not a lie.
The question is "are some lies OK". The answer to this is sometimes, yes.
If a white lie saves someone from having their feelings hurt unecessarily then it is a mercy not a sin.
My answer was No ^ above. I don't agree with your interpretation of what constitutes mercy or sin. A lie is a lie. Does not matter the intent.
06-22-2016 04:17 PM
It's not my place to decide what is justified and what isn't. I can only make that decision for myself. I lie and everyone else lies too. Some times a lie is better than the truth. We all tell "white lies" to spare the feelings of others. We all have told lies when the truth would only cause pain or humiliate someone. Sometimes we lie because we just don't want to disclose something to someone. It all depends on the circumstances.
06-22-2016 04:21 PM
@deepwaterdotter wrote:I prefer to remain silent or noncommittal when possible.
That's what I do as well.
06-22-2016 04:23 PM
@AKgirl2 wrote:
@AuberriJean wrote:
How do you decide if a lie is justifiable?
Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies...😁
Lol!
06-22-2016 04:25 PM
I think white lies are preferable to the truth when they spare a person's feelings, preserve a friendship, and don't leave out important information. I also think lies are permissible when someone asks you for information they have absolutely no right to have. For example, if your employer asked you if you were looking for another job, even if you were, would you say "yes"? Why should you? Ditto to nosy questions about one's personal life, finances, or whatever from someone who has no right or need to know.
06-22-2016 04:33 PM
It's a matter of degree........some folks lie about having (not not having) serious medical problems. That, to me, is an outright lie, possibly with various hidden 'agendas'. Or they just can't help themselves.
06-22-2016 04:54 PM
I do not like lying of any kind. Yes, in the past, I have told white lies to spare another's feelings. If we are to be honest, very few people have not done that a time or two in their life. As I have gotten older, I have tried to find kind things to say to those "loaded questions". Such as, "hey if you feel good in it..... that's all that counts"....and other such phrases. I have seen one too many people get carried away with "white lies" and use it as crutch to not be open and truthful at times when that is what is needed. I don't think people mean any harm by it most of the time.
06-22-2016 04:57 PM
@jubilant wrote:I do not like lying of any kind. Yes, in the past, I have told white lies to spare another's feelings. If we are to be honest, very few people have not done that a time or two in their life. As I have gotten older, I have tried to find kind things to say to those "loaded questions". Such as, "hey if you feel good in it..... that's all that counts"....and other such phrases. I have seen one too many people get carried away with "white lies" and use it as crutch to not be open and truthful at times when that is what is needed. I don't think people mean any harm by it most of the time.
1. YOU UNDERMINE PEOPLE'S TRUST.
If a friend overhears you tell a lie to someone else, especially if it’s told in a way that seemed genuine, you damage your relationship. "You’ve just revealed that you’re willing to lie when it suits your purpose," says Harris. "If the friend is sensitive to it, they’ll notice that their trust in you has been diminished–-even if the lie had nothing to do with them. And they’ll question how often you’ve told them a lie."
White lies can be especially damaging if your children overhear them. "You are your kids' greatest source of safety," says Harris. "When you demonstrate that you are willing to deceive, you diminish that sense of security they have in you."
More to read here: http://www.fastcompany.com/3027541/why-all-your-little-white-lies-arent-as-harmless-as-you-think
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