Community Chat

[Susan Louise]

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

@Mominohio wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

@Blingqueen023 wrote:

---

@Mominohio wrote:

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

It's school vacation and stores like Target always have familes with children who act like children.  It sounds like you might need your hearing checked.  Some older people become sensitive to sound but there are coping mechanisms.

---

No, I would bet it isn't the hearing, because older people loose the ability to hear higher pitched sounds (which is what child whining is...higher in pitch).

People today will not control their children in public, will not take the work, time and effort to remove them from public places when they are throwing tantrums, whining and otherwise causing disturbances. They can't get their heads out of their phones or their posteriors to understand that there is a baseline of proper public behavior, even for young children, and when they cannot comply, they need to be removed to the car, home, the park or a nap. 

This idea that we have to accept rude public behavior from people of all ages is the reason it persists. The more we accept it, excuse it, and shame those that expect better, the worse it will get.

---

OMGOSH!!  I couldn't have said it better myself!!  You are right on target.  (pardon the pun, Target, lol)

*********************

@Mominohio& @Blingqueen023

What idea is that?  I've never heard anyone espouse the idea of accepting rude behavior.

Who makes this stuff up?

---

---

Suggesting people use other coping methods, and suggesting the problem is the fault of the OP's hearing is doing just that, excusing and accepting someone else's bad behavior. 

Nothing made up.

---

That may be your interpretation, but I didn't see anyone say we had to accept rude behavior.

I broke a finger awhile back... went to Target with DH and was holding up a necklace to see, considering it for my daughter.  A woman in her 70s was next to me, turned and grabbed my hand/finger with the splint and the necklace.  I actually did a low scream in pain.  I also told her her off politely. 

Like three of us from CA said, we don't see screaming kids very often and I've never heard anyone say we had to accept rude behavior.

---

@Noel7  I believe @Mominohio and @Blingqueen023 were refering to the 2nd post in this thread. I also agree with them. It's hard to imagine it's the OP's fault for not being able to deal with/accept/fill in the blank of other folks misbehaving children. 

If you squint, you may be able to see the very 1st reply quoted to see which post it was...HTH

[suzyQ3]

---

@Mominohio wrote:

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

It's school vacation and stores like Target always have familes with children who act like children.  It sounds like you might need your hearing checked.  Some older people become sensitive to sound but there are coping mechanisms.

---

No, I would bet it isn't the hearing, because older people loose the ability to hear higher pitched sounds (which is what child whining is...higher in pitch).

People today will not control their children in public, will not take the work, time and effort to remove them from public places when they are throwing tantrums, whining and otherwise causing disturbances. They can't get their heads out of their phones or their posteriors to understand that there is a baseline of proper public behavior, even for young children, and when they cannot comply, they need to be removed to the car, home, the park or a nap. 

This idea that we have to accept rude public behavior from people of all ages is the reason it persists. The more we accept it, excuse it, and shame those that expect better, the worse it will get.

---

@Mominohio, any proclamation that begins with "people today" tends to be a simplified generalization. And yours here is no exception.

It's not only incorrect but also a slap in the fact at all those parents who came after you who do their very best to raise kind and considerate human beings.

[Shanus]

---

@Mominohio wrote:

---

@Shanus wrote:

---

@I am still oxox wrote:

The few that were not there were screaming theiir heads off in the ladies room the town pool, what ever happned to parents controlling their kids

---

That may have ended w/ the Boomer generation. I asked my son once to tell my 5 yr. old granddaughter to "zip it" in a restaurant & he replied that he and DIL work all week and at night & weekends is only time they see the kids and don't want to be always punishing them. I said, "I see". So I yanked her up and we had a nice talk outside about restaurant rules and that she wasn't going back in unless she was sure she was willing to be quiet and stay in her seat.

She looked up at me and asked if I was that mean to her Daddy when he was little. I said, "Yes, and look how nicely he behaves in a restaurant". She had no comeback for that. 

---

@Shanus

This was the kind of  bunk we heard from my brother when he was raising his kids. 

That and constant talk about not curtailing their creativity, spirit etc. 

It's all a cop out because they don't want to be the 'bad guy'. And anyone who has ever raised a child knows that some days, you just have to be the 'bad guy' and little Johnny or Suzie is not going to be happy about it.

I salute you for taking control. Kids respect adults who maintain order.

---

Thanks. When the 2 Girls are with me, they are angels because they know Pop Pop and I don't put up w/ cwap! There's no stalling at bedtime when they sleep over, no fighting over which tv show to watch because they know we'll immediately turn the tv off & no one watches.

I hate to make this comparison, but having kids is a lot like all the dogs I've had. They need rules, are happier when it's clear who is the alpha, feel secure knowing someone is in charge and no 2nd chances....Bad behavior is never rewarded or ignored.

My granddaughters respect us and run to us when we visit or they come to our house. They are not afraid...They just know what's expected of them & the consequences. Isn't that what most adults already know?

[Cakers3]

We shop during the week.  Absolutely NO shopping on tax free week-ends, either.

I think some people just have less patience as they get older.

[stevieb]

---

@QVCkitty1 wrote:

---

@chrystaltree wrote:

It's school vacation and stores like Target always have familes with children who act like children.  It sounds like you might need your hearing checked.  Some older people become sensitive to sound but there are coping mechanisms.

---

Oh come on, yes children act like children, and sometimes they are loud and annoying. That doesn't menan that anything is wrong with OP's hearing. Sounds Ike you've had a bad morning.

---

Agree... and speaking of having things checked, sounds like maybe someone... needed to check their attitude at the door...

[stevieb]

---

@Bri36 wrote:

I notice a lot of parents don't stop their kids from shreiking/screaming in stores and restaurants now.

I guess it doesn't bother them for some reason. 

---

Yes, apparently not, and really, it IS all about them... or so it seems...

[Cakers3]

---

@QueenDanceALot wrote:

---

@Bri36 wrote:

I notice a lot of parents don't stop their kids from shreiking/screaming in stores and restaurants now.

I guess it doesn't bother them for some reason. 

---

The parents are too busy looking at their phones.

---

@QueenDanceALot  Uh-oh - now you'll hear from the "I don't pay attention to what others are doing" crowd.  ROTFL!

Those phones can be a very big contributing factor.

[stevieb]

---

@Trinity11 wrote:

---

@Sushismom wrote:

I live in a large city (1,000,000+) and don't see unruly kids that often. Once in a while, yes. But the majority of parents seem to be good ones.

---

I agree for the most part kids are fun and I rarely if ever encounter screeching kids. My grandson is very well behaved in restaurants.  He is almost 5 and was taught to behave from early childhood. I can take him anywhere and I am very proud of what a good job my daughter has done..

---

What cities do the two of you live in. I'll think about relocating because i see far more unruly and undiscilned or unparented chidren than I ever have before...

[stevieb]

---

@Shanus wrote:

---

@I am still oxox wrote:

The few that were not there were screaming theiir heads off in the ladies room the town pool, what ever happned to parents controlling their kids

---

That may have ended w/ the Boomer generation. I asked my son once to tell my 5 yr. old granddaughter to "zip it" in a restaurant & he replied that he and DIL work all week and at night & weekends is only time they see the kids and don't want to be always punishing them. I said, "I see". So I yanked her up and we had a nice talk outside about restaurant rules and that she wasn't going back in unless she was sure she was willing to be quiet and stay in her seat.

She looked up at me and asked if I was that mean to her Daddy when he was little. I said, "Yes, and look how nicely he behaves in a restaurant". She had no comeback for that. 

---

And see, I think the problem here is a parent supposedly viewing the job of imparting lessons in reasonable behavior as 'punishment'... Huh...

[Trinity11]

---

@Mominohio wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

@Trinity11 wrote:

---

@Noel7 wrote:

---

@Trinity11 wrote:

---

@Sushismom wrote:

I live in a large city (1,000,000+) and don't see unruly kids that often. Once in a while, yes. But the majority of parents seem to be good ones.

---

I agree for the most part kids are fun and I rarely if ever encounter screeching kids. My grandson is very well behaved in restaurants.  He is almost 5 and was taught to behave from early childhood. I can take him anywhere and I am very proud of what a good job my daughter has done..

---

Hi @Trinity11

You can join our club, Sushismom and I, we live in a civilized area, too

---

My husband reminded me the other day how at times our son would act up. He had a very painful coronary condition when he was small. At times it was very hard bringing him out. Restaurants became prohibitive and we were afraid to leave him with a sitter. We were pretty much confined to one of us being home with him for a few years.  So when we hear a screaming kid my husband reminds me to give the benefit of the doubt. I need to try and remember that.. I guess we never know what could be the root of the misbehavior.

---

@Trinity11

When my daughter was a baby to toddler, she would sometimes scream after a meal.  It turned out she was lactose intolerant and suffered stomach pain from things with milk. 

I learned something very important from a mother who used to be on this board.  She had a young teen who would act up in stores.  I can remember myself looking at a kid acting like that and trying not to openly glare.

Her son was autistic and she carefully explained that a lot of autistic kids will act out when stressed or tired.  I was embarrassed that didn't know that and that I ever glared in a kid's direction. I never have after learning that.  You never know what a child or family is dealing with.

---

Please let's not confuse kids with issues and those with bad behavior. 

It is usually very easy to tell the difference, and everyone I know endures the child with conditions like autism. 

In the end, the results are the same though. If too disruptive for certain areas (stores, restaurants, theaters) children/people need to be removed. Not every place is designed to or should the other people there, be made to handle, extreme noise and disruption. They are paying customers as well.

---

There are often absolutely no outward signs when a child has a heart condition. So no it isn't always easy to tell when a child has a condition and they are acting out. Parents do their best contrary to what some on this board post here.