Community Chat

[pattypeep]

@SaRina  Thank you. I didn't feel bad about it, but I was shocked, frankly. We've always had pets from the time the kids were growing up. My two other children have pets and love them. My middle son has none and hasn't had since he left home. I'll never, ever stop smooching my furbabies.

[pattypeep]

@qvcfreak  You are very fortunate. My three brothers and I all stayed close by near our parents and it was the best. Unfortunately, all three of my kids moved away fairly young and now are in three different states. Perhaps it would have been  different had they remained closer geographically. ??

[Vivian]

My 94 year old mother was a middle child and I do think that her being the second girl, before a much wanted boy who was the third child, dictated her life. One story is a metaphor for her attitude. When she was a young girl, she found a ring. It turned out to be quite valuable. My grandmother reported the find to the police who told her that if no one claimed the ring in a month, the ring could be kept. The month passed and nobody claimed it. My mother was thrilled. However, her older sister made a fuss and my grandmother made my mother give the ring to her older sister. Why? Because the older sister cared more about the ring and the younger sister should accede to her older sister's wishes.

My mother told me that story many, many years after it happened. I was furious! How could her mother have done that? It seems that my immigrant grandmother thought more of her first born, and of course her son, than my mother, the middle child. To this day, my mother doesn't like to spend money on herself, as if she's unworthy. It makes me angry and sad.

[Trinity11]

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@pattypeep wrote:

There have been books written about birth order, etc. Do you believe the middle child(ren) have issues that the other children may not have? I suspect that my middle son has a persecution complex that seems to be worsening as he gets older. He's never been married and is 46. My first and third child are so different and such a joy to be around. When my middle son visited this past summer I couldn't wait for him to leave. Sad, but true. It became so tiring with him complaining about everyone and everything. Even his father. Then, it turns out me, too. He went to visit my youngest son when he left here and apparently told him that I lived in a zoo and that I'm crazy because I kiss my cockatiel. (We have two dogs, a cat, and my sweet cockatiel that I recently re-homed).  I sent him a check for his birthday which I always do and he didn't cash it. I haven't heard from him since. He lives in another state. This is probably TMI, but I'm really befuddled. PS: We have always had a good relationship in the past and as he was growing up.

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Is it possible he "felt" it that you couldn't wait for him to leave? Does he have relationships with women? He may feel different because he senses some disapproval from you.

[qvcfreak]

@pattypeep Thank you and yes the moving away could have something to do with it. Our only son left to attend school at 17 and says he won't come back to the valley. We do text, email and recently started doing FaceTime.  He is 21 now and still makes all the holidays. Hope he stays close. 

[pattypeep]

@Trinity11  I don't think so because he knew how excited I was that he was coming. I took him to see his aunt the day before he left. As soon as we got out of the car at her house he yelled at me for telling his younger brother that he was coming and that he would stop by his house on his way home. (This came out of nowhere). I said I didn't tell his younger brother anything.and for him to call him and ask him. He did and younger brother confirmed and middle son did apologize. Then said he was leaving to visit younger brother. What?? Here's a kicker for you in answer to your question. He has had girlfriends but nothing serious apparently. He has a friend with benefits that is my age!! He said they love each other but can't live together. OMG. 

[pattypeep]

@Vivian  Doggone it, that was just wrong. How very sad and more so that this incident has affected her whole life.

[Trinity11]

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@pattypeep wrote:

@Trinity11  I don't think so because he knew how excited I was that he was coming. I took him to see his aunt the day before he left. As soon as we got out of the car at her house he yelled at me for telling his younger brother that he was coming and that he would stop by his house on his way home. (This came out of nowhere). I said I didn't tell his younger brother anything.and for him to call him and ask him. He did and younger brother confirmed and middle son did apologize. Then said he was leaving to visit younger brother. What?? Here's a kicker for you in answer to your question. He has had girlfriends but nothing serious apparently. He has a friend with benefits that is my age!! He said they love each other but can't live together. OMG. 

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Don't take anything too personally. I have found over the years that I am very sensitive to my children's moods. Often times, it has something to do with their jobs and personal life.... having nothing to do with me. As far as his friend with benefits, you probably are not hearing the entire story from him. I sense there is more to it than he is telling you....

Just be a mom to him as you always have and keep on trying. Our children our so very worth our love no matter what bumps in the road we encounter with them.

From one mom to another.....hang in there....

[saltysails]

I think this is all hogwash.  My middle child was the sweetest of the bundh.  He was so well behaved, even as a toddler and so so nice.  I think I had many neighbors that wanted to just take him home with them.

I do think that middle children can feel that they did not receive the same attention level from their parents as their siblings.  Life is what it is and excuses for bad behavior get you no where. 

[cherry]

I think its a bunch of malarkey.. What if you have 1  child and they are not nice , or 2 children and they both are problems.? Each of us are individuals, with our own personalities, for good or bad