Community Chat

[RedTop]

@JoyFilled Warrior 

My answer is that there's an end of the line for everything, regardless of what it is.  

From the time I was about 5-ish, my Mamaw would catch me eyeing the pretty glassware in her china cabinet and tell me all that would be mine someday.  I was the only granddaughter and was thrilled to look at that cabinet, its fragile contents, and the dining room table that had been my great grandmothers, and know it was going to be all mine someday.  

My grandmother lived to be 98; I was close to 50 and by then there was no thrill attached to the majority of what I inherited from her.  When we moved her out of her unsafe house into a mobile home, the table and chairs were deemed too far gone to be of use, so they burned with the house.  An antiques dealer said the china cabinet had no monetary value whatsoever, so I eventually burned it.  Along with her rocking chair and a chest of drawers.  

The one piece of glassware in that cabinet worth money ($125) had been broken and glued back together.  I shared pieces with my daughters and my only nephew and trashed the rest.  

After dealing with a ton of my aunts stuff, my grandmothers stuff, and my MILs stuff, I put my foot down and said my house is not the catch-all/dumping ground for everyone else's special ******.  If it's not special to me, it's not in my house!

[Imaoldhippie]

I have my mothers cedar chest its well over 100 years old.  My cedar chest is not old but was made for me by a high school classmate who has since passed.  It is sentimental to me but my daughter does not want either of them.  I havent had the chance to ask my granddaughter yet, but I am betting she wont want them either.

One reason my daughter does not want my mothers is because she was abusive to me and my brother when we were young.

[Desert Lily]

@JoyFilled WarriorIt has sometimes saddened me to think that some of the tangible treasures I've kept have little meaning to my child. I have things from my mother, my grandmother, & even a couple items that go further back to Denmark. And there are more valuables to me than those.

Idk what the youth have in mind. My child is a millennial and their significant other has taste similar to mine, even a similar career. But although we share many views, idk if they care about my treasures or the history behind them. My child hasn't asked for anything.

I think those tangibles do hold memories for us. I moved from the West coast to the East coast last year. I went through everything & let go of some things with tears.

Maybe we feel bad when younger generations don't care about our treasures because it makes us feel unimportant; like part of our legacy will disappear.

I admire you for knowing what you need & want now and for moving forward. I wish you a wonderful road ahead.

[hckynutjohn]

@JoyFilled Warrior 

Some of what you wrote "speaks to me", but nothing when it comes to material things. When my mother died in 1969, my 3 older sisters chose what they wanted to keep of everything my mother kept.

Some was from her mother, other things that my sisters valued. I had no interest in keeping things, they had no value or meaning to me.

Only 1 of my 3 older sisters is still alive. Where the things my other 2 sisters chose back in 1969 are now? I have no idea, maybe my surviving sister does, I have never asked.

As for the difference in generations!  Each couple decades the younger generations, to me, seem to be moving further away from having or seeing sentimental value, in things.

Since we have no human kids, anything of value or memorable about me or my family history!  It doesn't exist in any of my possessions.

I understand what you are saying about your position, or situation. Fortunately a similar position for me was over almost 55 years ago.

hckynut 🇺🇸

[drizzellla]

@JoyFilled Warrior Do you know what the layout of the  Assisted Living apartment is?

I know the Assisted Living apartment where my Mother lived could easily handle a Roll Top Desk. I think having the desk move on with you would make you smile, just by looking at it. You want to bring something from your life. It is a large piece of furniture but you will still need a desk to handle paperwork while you are in Assisted Living.

It seems such a shame that you wouldn't have any of your own furniture in the apartment.

But that is me. I wanted to keep SO MANY things from my parent's house. I still have tubs and tubs of stuff, I can't seem to part with. Plus my own stuff. I know my son has zero interest in any of it. It means alot to me and nothing to him.

I see what is put out for trash every trash day. And think if I was just starting out, I could easily furnish a place for next to nothing. When my neighbor died all her furniture was put out for trash. Many things were in pristine condition. And baby stuff. I see car seats, bassinets, riding toys, baby furniture, strollers, high chairs, you name it. All at the curb. You hope someone will take it. But it is still there for the trashmen.

It has gotten to the point that the local Thrift Store isn't accepting donations. And even Goodwill has signs saying they are not accepting donations.

As I look around my dining room, I think how sad. What a waste. This furniture, china and crystal will probably end up in the trash. my son will never have big family dinners for all the holidays. 

[Pink123]

@JoyFilled Warrior  I understand your attachment and memories to your beloved belongings.

Last year I had to make a big decision.  I was widowed at 46 after a 23 year marriage.  I had 2 long term relationships after that.

I unexpectedly got really sick in june of 2021 and it continued on until march of 2022.  

I lived in the condo my late husband and I shared for over 20 years with on and off relationships.  I came to a crossroads beginning 2022.  I had been dating-semi living together for 4 years with a gentleman.  After I got well I had to make the decision for my future and so I sold my nice condominium on the water.  I left my pretty furnishings with some very nice pieces that had sentiment to me.

However,  all I took was my fine crytal like lalique, baccarat, etc and some vases along with my clothing.  I moved in with him.

Was it hard to let go and walk away?  Yes  and no.  I have a feeling of freedom now.  The big purge was done as difficult and hard that it was.  

It is now over a year later and I am ok with all of it.  I take it all "one day at a time". I do feel free I must say.

Good luck on whatever you decide.  There are many good decisions  from posters here for you to think about.

My saying is "let go and let God".  

[Carmie]

You might  want to write a letter to the new future owner of the desk telling where it came from and how much it meant to you.  Put it in an envelope and tape it to the bottom drawer.

My younger sister bought a used secretary desk years ago.....she found such a letter.  It made her appreciate the desk even more.  Just because you can no longer keep wonderful items with many memories attached doesn't mean more memories can't be made by future generations.

Your desk has a life and it isn't over yet.

[Snowpuppy]

So a few days ago the OP posted in Beauty she had 2 days to pack up and move to assisted living.

She had ordered her PODS container and hired her movers. Why oder PODS if you're not returning?

Now she hasn't moved? The endless drama continues.

[Pink123]

I don't know much about assisted living @Snowpuppy  but I thought you get a room and can bring your furniture with you.

Not a lot as it's basically one large room.  I saw this in movies  about seniors bring their personal effects with them.

[kate2357]

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@Carmie wrote:

You might  want to write a letter to the new future owner of the desk telling where it came from and how much it meant to you.  Put it in an envelope and tape it to the bottom drawer.

My younger sister bought a used secretary desk years ago.....she found such a letter.  It made her appreciate the desk even more.  Just because you can no longer keep wonderful items with many memories attached doesn't mean more memories can't be made by future generations.

Your desk has a life and it isn't over yet.

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@Carmie 

What a wonderful idea. I know if I bought a pc of furniture that was old, I would be thrilled to find such a letter. It makes me want to do that w the furniture my husband's family have passed down.