"Letting Go" Sentimentals,Values to generations?

JoyFilled Warrior · ‎09-02-2022

Hi @Forum-ites

I'm convinced, by practicality, to pack up & move to Asst Living, PDQ is the plan. I keep increasingly, & more seriously falling, & no way can take care of myself "in the old way."

It's been for yrs, I've had this prized, gorgeous, Oak Roll Top Desk. Been in my late Dad's family for 5 generations, hand made by his German lineage.

Dad sent it to me. En route, it sustained awful damage. On the the dime of the packer, I was able to have it structurally refinished by a Master Tradesman, I happened to find, tucked away in some menial job.

I grew up, as a child, with my various kittens, playing under the long, thick, sturdy legs of this incredible desk.

Every 2 yrs, my Dad & I "wld put our heads together," to strategize it's next home. The answer conti'd . nobody.

I've read prior threads here that many of us have these same dilemmas with beloved family heirlooms, treasures (& memories) of our own. (incl generational pics!)

I'm likely to give this desk away to a Thrift Store that has been an incredible, gratis help to me. But breaks my heart, that this is the "end of the line" for this desk, & even of my expensive heirloom, historical jewelry.

It just seems current generational values are wayyyy different, now then they used to be, even when ours seem to coalesce, synergized with our parents, & parent's parents.

I'm not even sure what the generational values are any more, esp comparatively.

Are anything past familial genertions prized at all?

(Yet there are numerous youth in my life, for 1 reason or another. Many seem too young to even know, or express their values, regardless of age)

How about you?

Any of this speak to you, about you, yr situation?

"Don’t forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!" TLB

Trailrun23 · ‎05-31-2022

I completely feel your concern and lack of understanding of why generations after myself have no interest in many of my heirlooms...is that even a term used anymore?
Adults now ages under 50 view almost everything as disposable. Many of them have no memory of using or buying quality furniture or other items like fine china, etc.They buy imported furniture, finance and use it about 5-10 years, then it goes out to the curb for pickup by bulk trash. Fine china, made in Europe, I have a big set from my grandmother and also great aunt. Absolutely no interest in either set from any of my children. We used to have a consignment shop here that dealt only with heirloom-quality items including furniture, jewelry, musical instruments, etc.it closed 15 years ago due to business just dwindling.
I have a grandmother clock that I would love to pass on, but none of my kids want it since they say they don't like having to set the pendulum daily..." too much of a hassle".
I guess value now is not monetary, only how many memories we attach to something.

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

As far as your antique desk is concerned, I would have it appraised by a reputable furniture/antiques dealer. Would not be surprised if it were worth considerable money. If I didn't need the money, I would donate it to my favorite charity.

As far as "collectibles" are concerned, I bought them for my own personal enjoyment. What happens to them when I'm gone is unimportant to me.

Good luck!

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@JoyFilled Warrior wrote:
Hi @Forum-ites

I'm convinced, by practicality, to pack up & move to Asst Living, PDQ is the plan. I keep increasingly, & more seriously falling, & no way can take care of myself "in the old way."

It's been for yrs, I've had this prized, gorgeous, Oak Roll Top Desk. Been in my late Dad's family for 5 generations, hand made by his German lineage.

Dad sent it to me. En route, it sustained awful damage. On the the dime of the packer, I was able to have it structurally refinished by a Master Tradesman, I happened to find, tucked away in some menial job.

I grew up, as a child, with my various kittens, playing under the long, thick, sturdy legs of this incredible desk.

Every 2 yrs, my Dad & I "wld put our heads together," to strategize it's next home. The answer conti'd . nobody.

I've read prior threads here that many of us have these same dilemmas with beloved family heirlooms, treasures (& memories) of our own. (incl generational pics!)

I'm likely to give this desk away to a Thrift Store that has been an incredible, gratis help to me. But breaks my heart, that this is the "end of the line" for this desk, & even of my expensive heirloom, historical jewelry.

It just seems current generational values are wayyyy different, now then they used to be, even when ours seem to coalesce, synergized with our parents, & parent's parents.
I'm not even sure what the generational values are any more, esp comparatively.

Are anything past familial genertions prized at all?

(Yet there are numerous youth in my life, for 1 reason or another. Many seem too young to even know, or express their values, regardless of age)

How about you?
Any of this speak to you, about you, yr situation?

@JoyFilled Warrior I feel your pain, but have no other advice than it is just "stuff." And there comes a time when we need to and have to let go and size down for our own sake.

Stuff has no soul, no feelings, no longings. That is what heart and memories have--and that can't be taken away. Cherish them and move forward with a sense of renewal and anticipation and be open to blessings that come your way.

We have cleaned out five estates. I have learned that I am not a museum, and that what I said above it true!

Move forward and don't worry about the desk! It had a good run! My prayers and hopes for a bright move are with you!

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

Our nieces and nephew have already told us that they desire nothing material from our estate. We are in the process of sifting through our belongings to rid ourselves of anything that has become of no use to us at this stage of our lives. We will then donate those items to charitable causes, and place the remainder in a dumpster. Should we move to a smaller residence, items of remaining value will be sold at auction.

Very nicely phrased Sooner.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

"Been in my late Dad's family for 5 generations, hand made by his German lineage."

Your desk might be worth some money if it's that old.

Look on ebay to see if you can find something similar for the value.

You might try selling it yourself. Do you know of anyone who could help you put it on ebay or etsy?

You also could contact an auction house to see what they say.

Despite our youth being disinterested in these kinds of things, there still are a lot of others who are.

spiderw · ‎06-14-2010

I have my mother's antiques, china, figurines, a few side tables, lamps, art work. I also have many collectibles which I bought. The memories of my mother's antiques are more sentimental than the collectibles I have bought. However, I would like to pass these treasures to my great nieces and nephews but they aren't interested. As mentioned, in general the younger generations are minimalists and when the time comes probably will sell rather than keep my antiques and collectibles. In a way I think they are better off not having too much, less to move, less to clean, less clutter. I do have to say I do not regret having the things I have, they still bring me happiness and enjoyment..

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

Make-Up Maiden, I discovered recently that wooden furniture is now known as "brown" furniture, considered undesirable by those furnishing homes today.They will come back in fashion eventually, but who knows when?

I have a lot of family items---when she died, my mother left the furniture to my sister and me---that my brothers might want, but maybe not their spouses and certainly not their children. I'm pretty sure I could sell online one of her sofas---a graceful French antique that would look very pretty anywhere. As it's upholstered in white, not too much of a "brown" vibe, either. The thing is, I wouldn't give it to my worst enemy--the worst rack of pain a person could sit on! We have all joked about that sofa. She bought it to line all us kids up on it for family pictures, but a real live adult is going to squirm in about 3 seconds. No back support, and it's about 12" of seat room.

I will donate any pieces that are unwanted to a charity, putting the donation in my mother's name. She woudln't mind that. I've already picked the American Heart Assn, as heart disease is the ailment she died of so prematurely.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Now spending is on experiences, travel, but I believe, in future there will be a return to gracious living.

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

@JoyFilled Warrior

Good Luck to you on your move. I think what @Sooner said is very poignant and good advice for all of us.

"Stuff has no soul, no feelings, no longings. That is what heart and memories have--and that can't be taken away. Cherish them and move forward with a sense of renewal and anticipation and be open to blessings that come your way."

I am keeping your quote @Sooner because I know I will need to see it again. It will help to reinforce what I know needs to be done. Thank you for this. 😊