Community Chat

[Preds]

If you don't want calls after 6, then let it be known ... as many times as it takes.  

We are early risers and our friends and family know not to call after 6 unless it's an emergency.  Granted, BIL is bad about missing the cut off time, but he works later and keeps tabs on an elderly uncle and passes on info, but other know better.

If the phone rings after bedtime, we just ignore it.  Actually, I ignore it all the time since everyone calls on my cell and it stays in the kitchen in the evenings.  LOL

[on the bay]

@BeccaLou -

I think if I asked someone not to call after 6, and also nicely explained why like you did, and then they got "miffed", I would not want to have them as a friend. That is just rude of him andnot at all consdierate of others.

What kind of person does that?!

[AngelPuppy1]

There's nothing wrong with telling people about your schedule.  DH and I are the same way.  People who know us know to call before 8:00 p.m.  We were having a lot of trouble with robo callers - one, a well known and reputable place (don't want to name it) called recently at almost 9:00 p.m. I think that is entirely too late for that sort of thing!  The next time they called, I was very nice to the person but told them my feelings and said, I feel you are a good organization and do a lot of good, but calling this late asking for money is not doing you any favors --- please stop!  

Family members and friends should respect your needs and know that you aren't trying to be anti-social or rude.  I think it is better to just be honest and say what you need.  

[Mominohio]

By most people's standards and lifestyles, a call from someone you know well up to 9 pm isn't unreasonable, so the fact he did that isn't out of line, in my opinion. 

But you have special needs and a schedule that is out of the norm, so unless someone told him, he wouldn't know or understand. 

He could have handled it better, I'm sure. It was really up to your husband to say something, as it appears he is more your husband's friend, but I get it that men often avoid conflict or situations that they feel uncomfortable with, and they leave that kind of thing up to us. 

His reaction could partly been because he was caught off guard, felt called out, or didn't like hearing it from you, but it's really his problem, you let him know what you need and why. He will have to deal with it.

[qualitygal]

My friends all know I have a 6 p.m. deadline and not available after that.  If someone calls after that, it's not for me usually, unless it's an emergency type of thing.  

[Cakers3]

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@BeccaLou wrote:

Am I asking to much to have people call before six at night ? I have health issues and take naps, we have a ritual of our dinner time, watch the evening news, and them relax with 2 game shows. This fellow that my husband met has a habit of calling at 8;30-9;00pm and I think that is to late sometimes we like to call it a night it we get tired and he calls and interupts our rest, especially mine.. I finally ask him politely to call before 6;00pm and he took an attitude with me, and acted really miffed . I told him that I am ill and need my rest. What's your take.

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@BeccaLouWhere is your husband in all of this?  He is the one to put a stop to this, not you.

You do not owe this person an explanation; he simply needs to be told to stop.  Explaining why will just fly over his head.

Has he stopped calling after 6pm?

[Financialgrl]

My take - you already told him not to call that late and as long as your husband allows it why should he stop?  Easier way is to tell him one more time not to call and then if he does, DON'T ANSWER IT.   If he continues, as the second post on this thread implies, just block his number.  

[CelticCrafter]

Personally, I think 6PM is a little to early to ask people not to call.

[Isobel Archer]

Sorry if I'm insensitive here, but I really don't get the agonizing over what to do.

It doesn't matter what other people think about whether it's reasonable to receive calls after 6 - or even in the middle of the day for that matter.  If the OP needs to rest and can't due to phone interruptions, then she has every right to just turn off the phone.  Period.

Now if her husband disagrees, that's another matter entirely  - in that case, I'd recommend that he receive calls on his cell - and even then he should be willing to turn it off once he joins his wife to sleep.  If he's not willing to do that, then the issue is with him - not with anyone who happens to call.

[NYC Susan]

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@BeccaLou wrote:

Am I asking to much to have people call before six at night ? I have health issues and take naps, we have a ritual of our dinner time, watch the evening news, and them relax with 2 game shows. This fellow that my husband met has a habit of calling at 8;30-9;00pm and I think that is to late sometimes we like to call it a night it we get tired and he calls and interupts our rest, especially mine.. I finally ask him politely to call before 6;00pm and he took an attitude with me, and acted really miffed . I told him that I am ill and need my rest. What's your take.

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I think it depends on how you said it.  You might have thought you were polite, but actually came across as abrupt or critical.  That could account for him acting "really miffed".  I think most people would be surprised at a 6:00 cut-off time, so he probably didn't think he was calling late at all, and was caught off-guard.

And, as others have said, it would have been better for your husband to handle this.  It's not clear from your post if he wants a 6:00 cut-off too, or if he's okay with his friend calling after 6:00.

If you and your husband don't want calls after 6:00, you have options:  Put phones on Do Not Disturb, or turn off the ringer or turn off the phone.  Or just don't answer.  None of us are obligated to be available for phone calls any time someone dials our number. Fortunately, we have control over that.