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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,034
Registered: ‎12-16-2011

"All Cried Out"--What do you think?

I remember reading that Lee Radziwill sister of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis did not cry when her son Anthony died of cancer. She had had to endure the divorce of her parents, the assasination of JFK and countless other tragedies that when Anthony died in 99, she was "all cried out". Not that she didn't feel the pain or grief. I feel this way in my life. I have had a good deal of suffering that I do not cry anymore. I think I am the only one at my job (of the females) who hasn't cried.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,374
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

[ Edited ]

I was all cried out when my Dad passed away.  One of my sons said "there was talk" about me not crying at the services. Too bad -- they don't know how much I cried when he was alive, how often I cried etc. I had no more tears.  His  years of suffering, and not being himself was over. He was at peace.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,584
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

@JBKOI don't think you're alone.

 

I think people grieve in many different ways;  as a corollary to that belief I think it's dangerously wrong to judge the depth of a person's emotion by the tears they shed, the length of time they live in public grief, etc.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,757
Registered: ‎11-28-2012

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

I wish I were all cried out. 

 

People show emotions in different ways.  I've always been a sobber.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,120
Registered: ‎04-17-2015

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

[ Edited ]

@Mary Bailey wrote:

I was all cried out when my Dad passed away.  One of my sons said "there was talk" about me not crying at the services. Too bad -- they don't know how much I cried when he was alive, how often I cried etc. I had no more tears.  His  years of suffering, and not being himself was over. He was at peace.  


Whoever "talked" is so incredibly ignorant.

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Super Contributor
Posts: 396
Registered: ‎12-25-2015

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

OK, please let me lighten the mood for just a minute, with sincere respect for this topic.

 

If you are a fan of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, remember the "Chuckles the C!own" funeral scene. 

https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=92I04DkMEps

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,817
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

I did not cry at my grandmothers or my dads funerals, and I have never felt overwhelming grief with their deaths.   I think about them every day, I miss them from my life, but I feel very peaceful with how they passed and where they are now.   

 

My grandmother went downhill fast after a CHF diagnosis.  The last 2 weeks of her life, she never left her bed.  She no longer knew who we were, but was happy to see, and talked to us as tho we were meeting for the first time.  Her mind was vividly re-living her past, and it was amazing to witness her essentially narrating her younger days.   I cried at her bedside when she talked about riding the train to visit her family, which happened when she was a teenager.   I cried when she talked about the man she was going to marry, and saw her eyes light up with love for the man who became my Papaw.   I had no tears for her at the end, because she had shown me how much she had loved her life, and I knew she was going to be reunited with all those special people she had talked about at the end.   

 

I watched my dad suffer horribly for 2 weeks before he died from a staph infection.   I cried at his bedside when he was totally, and completely out of this world for 24 hours.   We expected him to die; only to have him open his eyes and be very surprised to see us---because he said he died.   The Angels took him towards the light, and on the other side of the light he heard his mother's voice, and saw his big brother waiting for him.  His eyes glistened and his smile was wide when he told us about running and playing with a little boy and a little girl with wings on their back, and how much fun he had with them.   Daddy said the little boy and girl told him he had to come back because it wasn't time yet, but they would see him again soon.  I had no tears for him at the end because I knew his mother, older brother, baby brother and baby sister were waiting on him in Heaven.  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 508
Registered: ‎02-01-2016

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

I could never cry in public for many years.   I would go to a sad movie and not cry until later.    

 

After the death of many loved ones, I cried a lot.   I learned to cry at grief support groups (not at first, but when I felt comfortable with the others), with counselors and friends.   

 

Sometimes, I worry if I start to cry I will never stop.   I long to have someone I love hold me and just let me cry with them.   I don't have that in my life, so I know I still have many tears yet to shed over my pain and worries.

 

Grief is forever.   You move on and move through it, but it never ends.

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Posts: 5,616
Registered: ‎10-01-2014

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

Grief is so personal and should be beyond the realm of judgment. I can be moved to tears by the broken wing of a sparrow or a lion killed for someone's delight. For some things, I am surely all cried out, but each new loss presents its own reason to grieve.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop
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Posts: 2,522
Registered: ‎11-20-2013

Re: "All Cried Out"--What do you think?

Every time I reach the point where I feel that I am all cried out, finished, done, caput.... something comes up that brings me to tears.