Community Chat

[Oznell]

Gray Connolly is a barrister and writer in Australia.  He wrote a very moving essay about the loss that adults experience upon their parents' death, from his own point of view.

I remember upon reading this a while back, was so struck by it.  Fascinating that this man, ex-military, delves so honestly and publicly into his grief, in the hopes of helping others.   Well worth the read, especially for those travelling a similar road.

I'm not sure what Australian sidebars may come up if I post the link, resulting in removal. So, if you are interested, I will just say, google A Grief Endured by Gray Connolly.

[spiderw]

What a beautiful touching inspirational essay filled with emotions and feelings for those of us who have lost our parents.

My father passed away in 1965 at the age of 51, my mother passed in 1985 at the age of 69.  I am in my seventies and still miss and think of them often.  I can relate to this essay in many ways.  I can look back and wish I had been closer to my parents, had spoken to them more often and of course expressed my love for them . I do carry a lot of guilt because I didn't do these things yet I know they loved me and instilled so many positive traits I have carried through life. 

Thanks for sharing this article, Oznell, it touched my heart and was very meaningful.

[Puppy Lips]

I will have to save this for another day.  I fear it will bring me to tears, and I just can't handle that today.

[Suzeecat]

Thank you for passing this on.  I challenge anyone to get through it without shedding a tear!  So eloquent, I wish I could express myself with words so well. 

[Oznell]

@spiderw,  @Puppy Lips ,  @Suzeecat ,

It really hit me, esp. with his account of being the last child of older parents, and the somewhat different perspective that gives.  That was my situation too, and I cherished the time I had with mine, even though I fervently wish it had been more.... 

@Puppy Lips,   I'm so sorry it's a difficult day for you--  wishing you a sense of peace and a better tomorrow.

[Teddie]

Dear @Oznell , I cannot go there either, not quite yet. I will take note of this and take it in another time. 

I know what you’re trying to say about losing our parents. It’s too painful. 

I don’t know if you remember our short conversation back in September, when you were sharing pictures and we talked about 9/11. I shared about someone I knew whose wedding anniversary was on that date and you shared yours. I said ours was coming up but my husband was being tested for health issues. That entire thread got taken down and I can’t tell you how that affected me. I didn’t understand why and still don’t. I had wanted to come back to say more to you. My husband has pancreatic cancer. We have been fighting a battle like nothing else. Yesterday we were told to begin setting something up with hospice. I can’t lose him. We have been doing many alternative treatments and continual prayer. They gave him no hope with chemo so we chose not to go that route. 

There is so much more I wish I could say. 

[Oznell]

Oh, dear @Teddie ,  I am so sorry to hear this, about the battle you and your husband have been waging.  How full your heart must be right now.  It is what no one wants to hear-- yet, so many have to bear.

I know where you have been going for strength to meet this, and I know you'll keep going there.  Needless to say, as soon as I read your words I too have started to pray for you both.  Praying for the intervention that will give you the answers you want, and also peace for you, somehow.

Please stay in touch here, @Teddie ,  as much as you can, or want to.  I'm thinking of you and your family, and want to hear from you whenever, or if ever, you feel like it.  You always have been one of the brightest spots, the most genuine and transparent of souls, of this forum.  Love and gentle hugs to you and your beloved husband,  Oznell.  

[Teddie]

Dear @Oznell , Your words took my breath away. You can't know how much they affected me. I lost my husband Friday evening. He died at home with all our kids and their spouses here. I am in the midst of planning his funeral. This is a pain that is like nothing else. How am I going to not have my beloved with me for the rest of my life?  Thank you so very much for your kindness. Much love to you.  

[Oznell]

@Teddie,   I am so very, very sorry.  My deepest sympathies to you and your family on the loss of your beloved.   I was afraid that from what you shared before, that this time was coming sooner rather than later.

It was so thoughtful of you in the midst of your grief to come here and share.   I am very glad your children and family are there, and hope and trust that you'll continue to be enfolded with love as you endure this.  Praying for that, and for your well-being.   Take very good care of yourself, dear @Teddie ,  and please check in in the coming days if you feel like it.  Love, Oznell     

[Iwantcoffee]

@Teddie  I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.