Community Chat

[ECBG]

@mistriTsquirrel,Personally, it would be for me.  A ring always worn is in pictures and you saw them enjoy it.  To me, ashes are that final picture in front of your eyes every moment of every day and a reminder of the devistation a woman goes through in a tragedy like that.

[mistriTsquirrel]

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@willomenia wrote:
I think you do your father a disservice by not letting him go to rest if you believe his ashes are only ashes, his soul has moved on, then why wear them? Like a said, selfish

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@willomenia  I don't wear them.  But if a soul has moved on, one could just as easily say why not wear them?

How is he not at rest?  In terms of him "resting," how does it make any difference if his incinerated body and ground up bones are all in one container?

If you're going to throw around insults, you should really be able to justify what you're saying.

[mistriTsquirrel]

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@ECBG wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel,Personally, it would be for me.  A ring always worn is in pictures and you saw them enjoy it.  To me, ashes are that final picture in front of your eyes every moment of every day and a reminder of the devistation a woman goes through in a tragedy like that.

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@ECBG  My parents are/were very practical.  If my mother wears something, or if my father wore something, it's not for enjoyment.  I have my father's watch, but it's something he wore because he didn't like keeping his cell phone on him at all times and he wanted to know the time.  It had no deeper meaning to him.  The wedding rings are all they wore that had meaning.  

In other words, I could project a meaning onto that watch that wasn't there if I wanted to.  But I wouldn't wear my dad's watch every day because it would be cumbersome and it didn't mean anything to him anyway.  But if I had opted to get the thumbprint necklace, I would probably wear that every day, because it would have meaning to me on several different levels.

I don't think it's safe to assume that someone hasn't or can't move on just because they wear something that was created after a death, or that it's somehow morbid or unhealthy to wear something like that.

[dancingwoman]

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@willomenia wrote:
I think you do your father a disservice by not letting him go to rest if you believe his ashes are only ashes, his soul has moved on, then why wear them? Like a said, selfish

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I was brought up catholic....I went to catholic school,as a kid I remember relics...slivers of saints bones...etc...I found this on the internet....and this is what I was taught....

"In religion, a relic usually consists of the physical remains of a saint or the personal effects of the saint or venerated person preserved for purposes of veneration as a tangible memorial. Relics are an important aspect of some forms of Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Shamanism, and many other religions."

So from the thinking here of some, does this mean these saints aren't at rest...?

Are the priests ..... nuns....bishops....cardinals and even the pope being selfish for not burying the whole body...?

If it gives someone comfort who are we to judge and call them selfish.....DW

[yellowbird]

I have a friend who makes glass beads. Because of requests, She offers the service of incorporating ashes in a bead and treats the cremanrs with great respect during the process. If it brings comfort to a loved one, I see nothing wrong with it. As far as separating somes ashes from the rest, even the Catholic church allows for this. I found this out when my husband died.

[ECBG]

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@mistriTsquirrel wrote:

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@ECBG wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel,Personally, it would be for me.  A ring always worn is in pictures and you saw them enjoy it.  To me, ashes are that final picture in front of your eyes every moment of every day and a reminder of the devistation a woman goes through in a tragedy like that.

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@ECBG  My parents are/were very practical.  If my mother wears something, or if my father wore something, it's not for enjoyment.  I have my father's watch, but it's something he wore because he didn't like keeping his cell phone on him at all times and he wanted to know the time.  It had no deeper meaning to him.  The wedding rings are all they wore that had meaning.  

In other words, I could project a meaning onto that watch that wasn't there if I wanted to.  But I wouldn't wear my dad's watch every day because it would be cumbersome and it didn't mean anything to him anyway.  But if I had opted to get the thumbprint necklace, I would probably wear that every day, because it would have meaning to me on several different levels.

I don't think it's safe to assume that someone hasn't or can't move on just because they wear something that was created after a death, or that it's somehow morbid or unhealthy to wear something like that.

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@mistriTsquirrel,I was referring to myself.  It's not for me.

[Sueliz]

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@wishmoon wrote:

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@Poodlepet2 wrote:

@esmerelda, we have to meet on some happy topics! So far, we are "meeting" on "bummer" topics!

At any rate, lab synthesized diamonds are a hot new trend-indistinguishable from the "real" thing. 

I recently met a lovely lady who was wearing a gorgeous canary diamond-it was made from her husband's remains.

Try googling the topic, and if you can't find what you are looking for, seriously, call a few funeral homes or cremation societies.

The cost goes up with carat weight, but I love the idea.

Poodlepet2

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This may seem crude, but I just had a flash of a husband saying to his wife, "You're looking at me as if I'm a canary diamond." LOL

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Lol, very good @wishmoon!  Not crude at all IMO, we need more laughter in our lives, thanks for sharing.

[Sueliz]

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@henderson wrote:

Our son's widow (who has since remarried and had a baby at 40) has our son's ashes.  She was always planning to build a special urn, but I still think it's in the cardboard box the mortuary gave her.  I wish she would do that or spread his ashes.

We were able to get a small portion of the ashes and have that in niche overlooking a beautiful knolly grassy area at a small cemetary where he lived.  We live in Nevada and this is in Northern Calif. 

When we visit our other son, we always go to the cemetary to visit.  I would not want his ashes in a urn on my mantle or wearing the ashes around my neck.  That would be a constant reminder each day.  Not to say I don't think of him everyday even though it's been 6 1/2 years.

  We do have a beautiful sterling silver heart with his left thumbprint we ordered at the mortuary.  He always used to use that thumb for "thumbs up". 

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I'm so sorry for your loss @henderson.

[Cakers3]

It isn't "selfish" to keep some or all of a loved ones ashes.  People are going to grieve in the way that is the most comforting to them.

I am of the faith that the soul, the real essence of the person, has crossed over.  The ashes only represent the physical of the loved one; and that is why I think people keep part or all of them.

It is the last tanglible part of the loved one; they cannot hug them or hear their voices or share a meal anymore; but knowing that the physical part of them is still there can be a comfort.

This is just how I look at the ash issue; I myself wouldn't make jewelry but I can understand those who do.

Letting go is a process; and not everyone believes in souls passing on.  It's a viewpoint that can only be recognized on an individual basis.