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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 130
Registered: ‎01-26-2019

Re: because of the


@GenXmuse wrote:

People who announce they’re leaving after a thread doesn’t go their way don’t really want to leave, they just want reassurance that they should stay. I never try to talk someone into staying. We’re adults and know what’s best for us. 


 

Thats my feeling, too...

 

Depending on what the response are, the OP could either

"be persuaded" not to leave...

 

OR, could simply exit, then return in a few days under a new 

username.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,004
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: because of the


@LuLuBelle2 wrote:

@shortbreadlover, sorry you feel the need to leave (don't know over what post), but I know exactly how you feel. I come here to share life experiences, ask other's about theirs and I generally try to be light and kind - even when we disagree.

Sadly there are some on these boards who feel the need to dominate with their "assertive," unflinching "I'm right, put down" posts, and superior attitudes. For all of the kind posters those ugly, vicious few hit the "hurt" target and turn many away (especially new posters). I too have chilled considerably on these boards due to miserable women who don't share my view of lifting up sisters, but prefer to put us down. Once upon a time you could hit the "ignore" button and not have to deal wirh "ugly." Sadly, those days are gone.

Best wishes to you, LuLu


@LuLuBelle2 ...Thank you, I agree with you 100%. Heart

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,411
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: because of the

[ Edited ]
               I want to make a general observation, not directed at anyone in particular.   
               All of us can "talk a great game" about the mistakes of others, the way others mistreat fellow posters, etc.   How many times have we discussed this, yet we see no improvement.   
              I think it doesn't improve, at least in part, because of our tendency toward passive-aggressive (or overt) finger pointing at others and blaming others...  and our failure to spend more time looking inward, using self-reflection, and trying to see with clear, objective eyes what we ourselves are doing that perpetuates and intensifies the problem.   I include myself in this, and very recently was made aware of my insensitivity, lack of insight, and a big misstep.   
               Self-awareness is hard for anyone and it can be painful (growing pains!😉).    It's tough to avoid missteps and unintentionally causing hurt when we arrive here with our personal filters, deep feelings, emotions and passions, and when we are so limited by the written word on a forum.    
               Posters don't particularly notice what we say about how we should treat one another...  they notice how we do treat one another, how we put that advice in motion, in action.   When it comes to this advice...  do we just "talk it" or do we actually "walk it"?   
               Consciously or subconsciously, people remember how our responses made them feel, in a pattern that characterizes who we are and establishes our Community identity.   
               I think we need to take responsibility for the energy we bring into this space, as the saying goes.   I hope to do better, for sure.
               Regarding the announcements about leaving the Community,  I think most of those are fueled by impulsive emotions -- human emotions -- I've done it and I've seen countless others do it, and quite frankly most of the time when we issue the proclamations we later find ourselves changing our minds and returning.   There's no right or wrong to it.    I only hope each person does what's healthy and personally best for their own well-being.
 
⭐️"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.” ~H.W. Newton⭐️


Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,411
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: because of the


@Whatnow wrote:

@shortbreadlover @I wouldn’t get too upset about a few differences of opinion.You were happy knowing that everyone loved you for helping the older couple so you are batting 50.Cant be the hero all of the time...I think you are a kind and caring person and I am certain that you try to be so that is why your feelings are hurt.I take the negatives that I receive here as a learning experience about myself.Sometimes there are things brought to my attention that I wasn’t aware of and I think I could work on that or I am going to accept that about myself....I don’t beat myself up over it though as I never expect to be perfect but just a decent human being.

 


 

 

            You are so insightful, @Whatnow.❤️   I try to react to the forums as you describe -- though I admit I do beat myself up about some of the things I've written, mistakes I've made.   I've learned so much from fellow posters, and some of it insight into myself and improvements to make, and I'm grateful for that.    Thanks for this post.

 

⭐️"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.” ~H.W. Newton⭐️


Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,999
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: because of the

OP was treated with disrespect that was uncalled for. We will always disagree on topics, but some posts are almost hateful. People were jumping to all kinds of crazy conclusions about an incident that they did not witness or know anything about. Guess what? Some children are lazy and so are some adults. i am amazed at how immature some posters are and how they seem to enjoy bullying others. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,130
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: because of the

@shortbreadlover .............Ultimately its your choice but every poster the snarkers chase off is another win for them.  I know how some of those responses must have hurt you feelings.

 

Its said how freedom of speech and my opinion and Im entitled to it is used as a shield to be nasty and hateful to another person.  There are ways to have a different opinion and write a statement about a subject without the spew of nastiness.  But some would rather twist the freedom of speech and their opinions to suit their agendas.

 

I do not post on here to much anymore, mostly read the posts just to keep myself out of the snark tank.

 

If you set back and do a lot of reading it will slowly dawn on you just how negative a lot of posts and answers to a post are.  I just shake my head and go on.  However, that is not to say I dont have the urge to slap it to a poster every now and then, but I move on because I dont need or want any negativity in my life.  And I will admit it is very hard sometimes.

"If its broke, God can fix it".....Joyce Meyer
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,981
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: because of the

After many years and thousands of posts here, I have learned two things:

 

1.  Totally ignore the posts from people you know dislike you and anything you say.

 

2.  Apologize if you posted something in haste and regret it.  Also acknowledge that the subsequent negative responses had merit.  We all make mistakes.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,438
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: because of the

One thing I've noticed on these boards is that, as a thread gets longer and longer, posters tend to deviate from the original post......they often begin going in a different direction.  I do try to keep the original post in mind when replying, but I too can find myself responding more to subsequent posts at times.

Laura loves cats!