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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,139
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

Overreacting and over thinking it. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,907
Registered: ‎03-28-2016

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

 

@CAcableGirl2:  I agree with you in regards to the wife taking it upon herself to return the money. The neighbor gave the money to the husband. It should be his decision if he wants to keep it or return it.  IMO, the money should not be returned. Doing so would make for an awkward situation. Just let it be.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

My husband and I had a similar circumstance with a neighbor of many years. He is such a good man, we are happy to help him out, but he insists on paying 

 

We tried to  not take it, but came to realize, it was important to his dignity ,to feel he is paying his way...I understand  how you feel, we feel the same way. But ,it is also important to let others do what they feel is right..There will be other chances to be neighborly. I am sure she is glad she has a nice neighbor

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: am i overracting to this situation?


@Blingqueen023 wrote:

you live in a neighborhood that I wouldn’t want any part of. 


Why, @Blingqueen023? It sounds to me that both the OP's family and the new neighbor are very nice and very friendly, as are the other neighbors who earlier came over to welcome the former to the neighborhood.

 

As for the OP's angst, I advice her to totally let this go. Forget it, and don't anticpate future events. Also, I would ignore any insinuations regarding jealousy just because the neighbor's status is single woman.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,758
Registered: ‎01-02-2015

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

I am wondering if maybe she moved from a large city like New York

where you tip for everything ....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,464
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

Maybe she didn’t want to feel obligated and felt like it was an even exchange and if she’s single she might be more comfortable making it business like. Perfectly understandable. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

[ Edited ]

@peace6576 wrote:

Not overreacting. I would be absolutely mortified if my husband accepted money from a neighbor. How tacky.

That being said I don't think you can give back the money without making your husband look foolish. Buy a gift card for $30 to a fun local restaurant and put it in nice welcome to the neighborhood card. 


 

I agree that he should not have taken any money from a neighbor.  Especially a new neighbor. I would have been embarrassed if my husband had done that, so I don't think the OP is over-reacting.  It was nice of the neighbor to offer, but he should have refused.  That would have been much more friendly and a better way to make her feel welcome in the neighborhood.

 

But what's done is done.  I think I would make a point of going to her house and introducing myself, and bring a plant or flowers or something in an effort to give a better impression.  Just in a casual way, and nothing as obvious as returning her money directly.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,896
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

I think she was just being nice and showing her appreciation. I do think it would be nice if DH went over and showed her how to use the new equipment and not accept any gratuity for it. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

I don’t  understand. Someone will not accept cash but doesn’t mind taking a gift card. Except for one being more restrictive (the gift card), how is it different?  Both are a form of payment and the cash is more convenient for the giver...as with the gift card the giver must figure out what card would be appropriate and then must obtain it. 

 

Accepting a gift card when you wouldn’t take cash brings to mind “Thou protests too much.”

*********************
Keepin' it real.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: am i overracting to this situation?

thanks everyone for the replies.  Gave me the perspective i needed. 

I am going to let it go, and not say anthing more about it. 

i have voiced my opinion with dh, and he doesn't think he did anything wrong.  he was just helping the neighbor. 

and thats ok. 

thanks again.