Community Chat

[Tinkrbl44]

@qualitygal

Great idea .... but years ago my sister and I did a   MEDICAL FAMILY TREE  as far back as we could go, and it was a real eye opener.   Back in the day, lung cancer was the norm for heavy smokers, and a few things had odd names that required some research.   (Some people called diabetes "sugar", as in "he had sugar".)

Specific cause of death was frequently unknown.  If a doctor came to the home and someone died or was dying, the decision was simply "they died of natural causes".   Period.

The most difficult part was a couple  people who didn't want to talk about health issues, so their (now adult)  children didn't have a lot of information which could have come in handy.  Nevertheless, it was a very worthwhile project.

[Sooner]

I just can't get into all that.  I have a family tree that goes back to England in the 1500s and know my family came to this country as some of the very first settlers--before 1650  BUT I can't relate to those people because I really don't know who they were, what they thought about, etc.  

To me, it is a little interesting but I don't see it as defining who I am.  They could have been kings for criminals, but that was a long long time ago and folks I never met.  I guess I am too American maybe.  I am responsible for who I am.  It's all on me. 

[BirkiLady]

Using family history was a huge help in caring for my mom, a dementia patient for 14 years. As her mind lapsed, I used our family photos, scrap books and memory albums kept by former generations to help mom. She was living in her childhood and adored seeing her grandparents home in Maine (where they spent a month each summer for over 20 years), the trips her family took across the country, her years away at William Woods College (now a University) in Fulton, MO, letters from dad to her throughout WWII, pictures of them during their engagement, their wedding pictures and news articles, their first apartment and first home. So many pictures of both sets of grandparents, which made her so happy. Pictures of my little sister. Pictures of their acreage and the plans for the home they were building. The big move into the completed home and my first day into another school. (Think it must have been more difficult for mom than for me!) An article in the paper of people following the fire trucks, but the fire trucks led all the cars to the lake and proceeded to give out tickets! Yes, mom was one in line and received a ticket. Mom's car was clearly pictured in the newspaper! Dad was horrified. Even as a little girl, it was funny and we never let her live that one down. Receipes from both grandmothers, mom and her friends that I've been using for years and years, also. Many pictures of flower beds in various homes! Mom and I both modeled for local department stores; of course, some of those ads were included. We were both so tall and slender! We also volunteered and were active in many community plays, events, our Church and Choir, etc. Pictures of mom with her knitting seemed to be everywhere! All overseas travels were detailed in journals with dated photos. So many memories helped keep mom's mind sharper than so many of the dementia patients. And it was fun for both of us. I also was able to ask additional questions, which always led to other childhood stories about her life. I would return home and email her stories to my sister. Stuff we had never heard before. Things we never thought to ask as young people. In some respects, mom's illness brought us so much closer than ever anticipated. My mom loved horses, rollerskates, baseball and sleding on a steep hill in Omaha as a kid. We already knew that. It's the funny things she told me within the last few years that I'm so grateful to have learned via the old photos and journals from mom and other deceased family members. Sadly, mom didn't remember either my marriage or my sister's marriage 10 years later, both were large events. Mine in Lincoln, my sisters in Philadelphia. She did remember wintering in Tampa for many years, but had to be reminded of things in the pictures. I encourage everyone to delve into your past. Ours goes back to England, Ireland, Scotland and Germany. I'm having so much fun with our ancestors and their strength of character, great standing in their communities, ambition and drive to succeed in spite of adversity, and willingness to give back to their community by dedicated volunteering. Rather proud of my heritage.   

[Mominohio]

I think one of the best things people can do is write.

IT doesn't have to be fancy or well written, but write. Write about what history you have been told, what you have lived. Write about your family, your town, your traditions, what school was like, what vacations, were like, who your childhood friends were, what your jobs were like, what the world, politics, were like. 

It can be a journal, it can be random thoughts and memories. Let people know before you pass that it exists so it isn't overlooked when your possessions are gone through.

And talk to the oldest people in your family now. Write down what they tell you. I've done some of this, but not nearly enough so thanks @qualitygal for a great reminder that the past dies a little more every day, when we don't document it.

[Shorty2U]

DH and I do ancestry for years and years now and we traced our whole history (except my one side stops in Italy with my great grandparents) So yes I regret not having asked more questions back when everyone in the family was still alive. My moms side I had no trouble finding out info (and I knew a lot of it) Plus a distant relative wrote a book tracing my moms one side and we finished her other side. I'm just at a stand still with my dads Italian side. DH said if I want to research my Italian side "in Italy" I have to join Italy ancestry? And both my parents are deceased, and so are all my aunts and uncles and of course my grandparents, so I have no one to ask.

[blackhole99]

I grew up in the 50's and 60's, my grandparents were not forthcoming when it came to answering questions about their personal history. No.1 because you were a kid and No.2  they were immigrants and didn't want people knowing too much about their past lives. I do know where my grandparents came from in Europe though.  I think my maternal grandfather was Jewish,  because of the things my mother would say she remembered about him and she thought he was a Jew. My mother was raised catholic, but it wouldn't be the first time someone hid their Jewishness. I remember my mom saying, Daddy never went to church. I guess I should have my DNA tested, then I would know for sure.

[Mz iMac]

On my fathers side....

I am from a family that has held yearly family reunions since the 19th century.  We even have our own private website.  Website contains photos as well as recordings.

Around 800+ paternal members left at last count.

My mother is the only member of her family still living.  However, when alive they all attended my paternal "family reunions" because their family was small.

My father passed 12 yrs ago.

My 93 yr old mother is still living, healthy & on her own.

[Marienkaefer2]

I grew up with my maternal family, who were immigrants from Italy.

Fortunately, my grandparents were very good about telling us the history of the family, going back a few generations.

Still, there are questions now that I have, that I never thought of when they were alive.  I wish I had thought to ask them then.

Also, I know next to nothing about my paternal family, who were Irish immigrants.  I wish I knew more about them, where they came from, etc.  Those grandparents died when I was very young, and we had moved across the country.  Also, the family wasn't close.

I think it's important to know about your family, what your parents and grandparents did and how they lived.  It gives you a foundation.  

I also love to hear the stories of other people's families.  

[hckynut]

Never cared much about my family's history. My dad(?) disappeared when I was to young to remember him, leaving my mother alone to raise my 3 older sister and myself. Paternal side, from what I was/am told by my older sisters, were a family of alcoholics that cared only for themselves.

My maternal family were "very well off" financially, but disowned my mother when she married my sperm donor. Grew up poor in Public Housing Projects (born there) until age 14. Saw my maternal grandmother on rare occasions, but never in our Projects apartment(below her social dignity).

I could not care less about who they were or anything to do with either side of my(so-called)family history. What little I do know is already too much. Felt so sorry for my mother having to live her life with not even her own family caring about her one iota. SAD!

hckynut