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Valued Contributor
Posts: 580
Registered: ‎06-24-2011

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

@blackhole99  what @NYCLatinaLaw  has posted is accurate. I'm speaking from experience, not conjecture. The top private schools have programs that assist accepted students who cannot afford the school. The financial programs are based on formulas. We probably don't hear about as many discoveries from average tier schools because they don't have the budget/funding for research and top global professors that top tier schools have.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 48,105
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

I must say that after reading some of these comments, it seems clear why there's such an evolving sense of entitlement... These parent will be doing nothing wrong if they advise their child that they simply cannot afford to foot the bill and that what they've set aside is pretty much the limit they have to impose on their spending for his or her education...

 

They can certainly encourage their student to obtain whatever aid he or she can and advise him or her that they're free to pursue any loans for which he or she wishes to take responsibility... We've already been told they have other children to send to college... Let's suppose one of them dreams of going to Sarah Lawrence and another dreams of going to Dartmouth... By the time they've let their children live their dreams, they're in debt from which they'll probably never recover...

 

Moreover, being accepted by MIT or any highly competitive university for that matter, does not, ipso facto, mean the candidate is destined for great things...

 

Offering one's child a college education is a very caring and wonderful thing, Setting reasonable limits is too...


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,801
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

[ Edited ]

@cherry wrote:

My children wanted to do it  themselves. It is important to some people to be self sufficient

 

They both are happy and successful in their fields

 

I  wouldn't blame parents for   not sending their child ,to a school beyond their means.  People have to save for retirement too ,and may well have more than one child to educate.

 

There are many fine schools in the US, and many people live happy successful lives going to another college

 

Sometimes you have to cut your coat ,to fit your cloth, and that is a valuable lesson in itself.


 

 

 

@cherry 

 

Love ya!  My late sister's 5 children graduated from college, they worked summers, and weekends, all of them at Arby's. They all paid 90% of their education, my late sister the rest. Not the high $$$ ivy league schools, they all chose 1 of our 2 state colleges.

 

Were they looking to change man(woman)kind, as one poster suggested? Nope! All of them were/are successful in the fields they chose, unlike many of their college classmates that had someone else foot the bill(parents/ gov), I wonder why those that pay their own way seemed to benefit more?

 

Through my 52 years of running my Adult Hockey League, I met men from all walks of life. Many doctors/attorneys/Air Force Pilots, and also those like myself, a so-called unskilled worker, and others in trades with many owning their own companies.

 

There were many that had a wall full of college degrees, but when it came to common sense? Somehow their higher learning bypassed their ability to soak in common sense. Someone once said, "they were/are educated beyond their intelligence", who said that, beats me.

 

Those I met owning their own Plumbing/Electric/Contracting Companies? For some reason they were more aware of the world around them, and chock full of common sense. In those 52 years the numbers I met were in the thousands, not the hundreds. These experiences for me proved to validate my life long belief. Because you are smart and or have the top number in IQ, whatever that might be, means very little in life  as a whole.

 

Some call those with 7 figure($$$$$$$) incomes successful, but my measure of one's success in life, is not measured via ones income. Sure, they were financially "rich" maybe, but I rank my life's success in living my life much higher than most of those living their rich lifestyles. Wish I had kept count of how many marriages the "smart/school educated ones" went through.

 

For me life is good, and got better when I retired at age 52, without a high school diploma, and I  went to summer school to graduate from grade school. Each day is a GREAT day for me.

 

 

 

hckynut(john)

Highlighted
Contributor
Posts: 36
Registered: ‎04-30-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

Truthfully I would move heaven and earth to create opportunity for my kid.  An education is a lifetime investment.  I went into debt to attend a highly ranked college and I would do it all over again.  When my kids' turn came we were fortunate to be able to pay for the costs in full.. had we not been we would have found a way.   But.. we all have to do what is comfortable for us.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,045
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

Will these children be able to rescue the poor parents from penury, in their old age? Will they feel they should make that commitment?

 

Raising children to feel they have an entitlement, to a lifestyle beyond the parents means,  is something I never let happen in my home

Valued Contributor
Posts: 580
Registered: ‎06-24-2011

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

@hckynut   Are you saying that people with top tier educations have less common sense? And are you saying that those same people are divorced more often? Is there scientific data to back up these generalities/claims? Otherwise, I think it's not appropriate. My grad thesis was on the highly gifted.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,899
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Re: Your child gets into MIT....


@Desert Lily wrote:

@blackhole99  what @NYCLatinaLaw  has posted is accurate. I'm speaking from experience, not conjecture. The top private schools have programs that assist accepted students who cannot afford the school. The financial programs are based on formulas. We probably don't hear about as many discoveries from average tier schools because they don't have the budget/funding for research and top global professors that top tier schools have.


@Desert Lily  Good for you.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,899
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Re: Your child gets into MIT....


@PickyPicky wrote:

@blackhole99     I graduated from high school in 1965. My father earned about $6,000 a year. I received a 35% scholarship, my father paid 25%, I was given a 25% loan and I worked a work/study job at the university and in my hometown over the summer. These kinds of financial aid packages still exist. Outrageously higher costs today, but there are ways to make it happen.

 

 


@PickyPicky  I realize everything is relative, but college in1965 was minimal in cost compared to college today, let alone an Ivy League college education. I went to college in 1968 at a private school for 4 grand a year and paid for it myself working summer jobs and in the cafeteria at the school. No comparison.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,931
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: Your child gets into MIT....

I am sure that every child is not feeling entitled to an expensive education on the parent's dime.

 

Why is the word "entitlement" used so carelessly these days??

 

If a child is insisting on the parents paying for everything-that is one thing.

 

However, just because a child has his/her eyes set on a higher priced education doesn't automatically mean he/she is expecting it to happen without contributing to the cost.

 

As I said earlier, these are issues between parent(s) and child(ren).  Not one size fits all; we can share our exeriences but that doesn't mean one way was better while another meant that the child felt "entitled".

" Don't back down yet. It'll get brighter. Stand your ground like a veteran fighter." -Joe Pug
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,684
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: Your child gets into MIT....


@hckynut wrote:

@cherry wrote:

My children wanted to do it  themselves. It is important to some people to be self sufficient

 

They both are happy and successful in their fields

 

I  wouldn't blame parents for   not sending their child ,to a school beyond their means.  People have to save for retirement too ,and may well have more than one child to educate.

 

There are many fine schools in the US, and many people live happy successful lives going to another college

 

Sometimes you have to cut your coat ,to fit your cloth, and that is a valuable lesson in itself.


 

 

 

@cherry 

 

Love ya!  My late sister's 5 children graduated from college, they worked summers, and weekends, all of them at Arby's. They all paid 90% of their education, my late sister the rest. Not the high $$$ ivy league schools, they all chose 1 of our 2 state colleges.

 

Were they looking to change man(woman)kind, as one poster suggested? Nope! All of them were/are successful in the fields they chose, unlike many of their college classmates that had someone else foot the bill(parents/ gov), I wonder why those that pay their own way seem to benefit more?

 

Through my 52 years of running my Adult Hockey League, I met men from all walks of life. Many doctors/attorneys/Air Force Pilots, and also those like myself, a so-called unskilled worker, and others in grades with many owning their own companies.

 

There were many that had a wall full of college degrees, but when it came to common sense? Somehow their higher learning bypassed their ability to soak in common sense. Someone once said, "they were/are educated beyond their intelligence", who said that, beats me.

 

Those I met owning their own Plumbing/Electric/Contracting Companies? For some reason they were more aware of the world round them, and chock full of common sense. In those 52 years the numbers I met were in the thousands, not the hundreds. These experiences for me proved to validate my life long belief. Because you are smart and or have the top number in IQ, whatever that might be, means very little in life  as a whole.

 

Some call those with 7 figure($$$$$$$) incomes successful, but my measure of one's success in life, is not measured via ones income. Sure, they were financially "rich" maybe, but I rank my life's success in living my life much higher than most of those living their rich lifestyles. Wish I had kept count of how many marriages the "smart/school educated ones" went through.

 

For me life is good, and got better when I retired at age 52, without a high school diploma, and I  went to summer school to graduate from grade school. Each day is a GREAT day for me.

 

 

 

hckynut(john)


Well my friend @hckynut , I am here to tell you that you DO know someone who is married to an Ivy League graduate who has been married for 44 years. Me. No divorce in sight.

 

My husband went to school not to become rich rather to educate himself because of the sheer joy of learning. He instilled that in both our children and they too, didn't want to earn money just for the sake of being rich but for all the good works they could do with their money. It would take many paragraphs to explain all that they have done but you get the gist.

 

As far as common sense, I don't think not having a high IQ has anything to do with it. I know a lot of people with IQ's off the charts who have a lot of common sense.