Community Chat

[jaxs mom]

LOL your son wants you to call a 25 year olds parents over leaving a party early because people were discussing a controversial topic? You're kidding right? 

I'd have told the controversial topic instigator to drop it, before the guest of honor left. And if he wouldn't drop it, I'd have asked him to leave. It's supposedly a party, leave the controversial stuff out. 

[SaRina]

You know, now that @Peaches McPhee mentioned it, it would make you the bigger person to send a short apology note (nice note card) that his dinner didn't turn out quite as you expected. Hopefully, he will respond by apologizing to you.  Good idea, Brinklii.

[x Hedge]

I read your original post and started writing this reply to that more comprehensive description of your evening.
Whenever this type of subject comes up I think about my mother and the answer appears.

She'd have the TV off and music playing to set the mood.
I know she would've had a mental list of conversation topics pre-prepared for each guest, and for the group. She would've used humor, and her commanding position as hostess to steer the conversation away from potentially contentious subjects, and she would've expected her own son to ASSIST her in that.

She would've requested Joe help her in the kitchen, and while there, pointed out her responsibilities as hostess to strive for an enjoyable evening for all.
She would've leaned on their long acquaintence, asking him to help her for these few hours in creating a more jovial mood.
Lastly, if necessary she would've privately, gently, let Joe know repaying his guest of honor status with discourtesy in her home wounded her personally.

After all that, if she'd had the evening you had she'd be done with him. She wouldn't be reporting his insulting behavior to his folks, and she certainly wouldn't be writing notes of apology to the guest who's surly behavior spoiled the party.

[jaxs mom]

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@colliegirls wrote:

At a party in my home, I would have changed the subject or put an end to a controversial conversation before it turned bad.  No guest should feel uncomfortable. People have strong opinions on some subjects and do not need or want to discuss them.  He must have felt very upset if he left.  It is over now, nothing anyone can do.

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I had one of my husbands coworkers bring up politics when he was over for Thanksgiving. I told him flat out, you don't want to discuss politics with me. He had tact enough to drop the subject. It's not like we knew him that well either, he was new in town which is why my husband invited him. 

[Plaid Pants2]

Let me see if I've got this straight.

Your son and the guest of honor got in to a heated debate.

The guest of honor requested your son to drop it, or else he was leaving.

Your son didn't drop it, and continued on.

The guest of honor kept his word, and left.

It seems to me that it's your son who is the immature one.

Why didn't he drop the subject, wben the guest of honor asked him to?

Now your son wants you to tattle to the guest of honor's parents?

Why?

To embarrass them?

That seems immature to me.

Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away from a heated argument.

I don't think that the guest of honor did anything wrong.

If anything, it's your son who needs to apologize for not dropping the subject when asked to do so.

[jaxs mom]

It wasn't clear to me that it was the OPs son that started the topic up. But if it was, it's even worse that he wants you to tattle to his friend parents. 

Have you asked your son if he'd like everything he does reported to you and his father? 

[colliegirls]

This is why one should " never discuss religion or politics" unless you know for sure that the other person shares your views.

[freakygirl]

it's no one's fault or responsibility as to how the guest of honor behaved. he stuck to his convictions whatever they were, and no one should feel guilty about the turn of events, unfortunate though they were. things will either right itself somehow, or not, but it's best to leave the matter alone. nothing can be done to rectify it anyway. 

[tansy]

There's plenty of blame to go around in this situation.  The suggestion of tattling on a man in his 20s is ridiculous.  

[Isobel Archer]

So you invite someone to your home - as a "guest of honor." And proceed to have a debate he finds so distasteful, he asks for it to stop or he will have to leave - the subject  is irrelevant.  Your son and  husband pursue the subject anyway - I guess to prove they  are "right."  And he leaves.  Then your son wants you to call his parents and tell them how rude their son was?????  Gee I wonder what he wants you to do if they disagree - pursue the subject until they admit how wrong they are.

I think maybe your son could learn some manners.

This was not a classroom or a scheduled debate.  On the scale of rudeness here, I think deliberately causing a guest in your home distress is worse than leaving before you say something you might forever regret.