Your Opinion?

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

Let's try this. I hope just sticking to the basics is ok with the webbie. DH and I had a small dinner party last night for an old friend of my sons who was visiting the area. It got off to a nice start, but then the guys got onto a controversial subject. (The topic is not relevant.) One of the guys threatened to walk out if the topic continued. Apparently it did, and he stormed out. The party was given in his honor. He and my son used to be very close friends. After the guest of honor departed in such an angry manner, everyone became very quiet.

My son thinks I should call his parents and tell them about his behavior, because they were the ones who told us he would be in town and that he would love to see us again. The son is now 25-26 years old. I don't know if I should report his reaction to his parents, as he old enough to be responsible for his own behavior. Anyway, the whole thing was rather embarrassing after the guest of honor departed.

Would you do anything? It's hard to control the topic of a dinner conversation. I haven't heard from the guest of honor since he left....or is it my responsibility to write to him and apologize for the tenor of the conversation? Thanks.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

The matter is between you all and not his parents. I'd call and follow up with a note if you are unable to speak with him.

DiAnne · ‎09-22-2010

I would stay out of it completely. This is between your sons and the guest. If anything the guest owes you an apology for storming out but that is about it.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Yardlie Nix to calling the parents and nix to calling the guest.

Unless the topic was insulting to the guest in terms of his race, religion, identity etc. then his rudeness deserves no more attention.

Insulting the guest would have been one thing; but from what I'm reading he didn't like another opinion and picked up his toys and went home.

If his parents do call you then what happened can be said but otherwise this isn't a 10-year old child who needs a lesson in manners. That ship has sailed.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

I would say nothing. What could possibly be accomplished by communicating such an unpleasant and uncomfortable experience? Unfortunately, nerves are on edge right now in our country and, sadly, intolerance rules. I have a dear friend whose beliefs could not be more different than mine but we have learned to discuss our differences without attacks and hissy fits. I wish we could teach others how to find common ground. Also, sometimes people displace their woes onto other topics so that a violent response has more to do with one's personal life than with the outside world. Let it go. You've just experienced yet another example of intolerance.

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

Really? Telling on a grown man? And to his parents? That might be something you do with a child but not a grown man. My advice is to stay out of it.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I would let it go. If anyone should apologize, it's the person who refused to let things drop, when they knew the lay of the land

THe guy is a grown man and his parents can't help what he does

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

Call a twenty something year old's parents to what, tattle on him? Seems silly. He is an adult and makes his own decisions and behaviours, just as you stated in your OP.

If the dinner was in his honor, I think it would have been respectful if people would have stopped the line of discussion they were on that he requested to stop.

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

@Noel7 wrote:
Really? Telling on a grown man? And to his parents? That might be something you do with a child but not a grown man. My advice is to stay out of it.

LOL we must have been posting at the same time. My thoughts EXACTLY @Noel7!

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

Sorry, but I believe that it's the job of the Host or Hostess to keep the conversation flowing in a way that keeps things pleasant. You could have directly asked one of the guys "Let's put this discussion on hold for now" .... or just stated to everyone "Let's change the subject ..." or "Guest of Honor, which airline did you take coming here?" .... or some other question meant to distract and redirect the conversation.

People should be on their best behavior at dinner parties, but that doesn't always happen. Unfortunately, you need to be ready for this.

This is part of what a Hostess is meant to do. JMO, of course.