Community Chat

[Susan in California]

Just a fun question--nothing serious, but just for the heck of it.

Which compliment would you prefer:

A)  You look like you've lost weight.

B)  You look so much younger (than you actually are...)

Charlie Rose interviewed Sheila Nevins, HBO's Documentaries President and

Producer.  She is seventy eight years old and spoke about how difficult it is to age as a woman, and how all women care about it.  She said that is why cosmetic "work, ,botox, make-up creams, etc sell so well.  She said women will talk about a lot of personal things but often not their age.

[Kachina624]

She's spot on with her statement.  You can change many things about yourself but not your age.  I also would just as soon not talk about it.   I refuse to be sucked into the cosmetic hype and buy every jar of goo that comes down the pike.  I know there are no miracles in those jars.  I've used inexpensive AHA for years, along with their cleanser on my Clarisonic.  That's it.  My doctor says I don't look my age.   My sister, who looks like my twin, and I have slightly oily skin which seems to resist wrinkling.  Neither of us has ever used a moisturizer. 

[Moonchilde]

I would prefer to be thought thinner!

Through nothing I have done to take credit for, the women in my family don't get lines or facial wrinkles.  I'm often judged as 10 years younger than I am, and when my mother passed at 95 she looked about 75. No wrinkles. But that's just luck & DNA. Heaven knows I don't do much maintenance except my Clarisonic.

[hckynut]

(thread title)

I can choose what I want to weigh. As far as I know, I cannot change my chronological age.

hckynut(john)

[qualitygal]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It's something I've done all my life like a 2nd job.

[Pook]

Actually neither -  you look great is the compliment I would prefer.  A can be a body shamming half compliment in many cases and B is often a condescending compliment just said to placate older people just like saying someone is so many years young.

[AngelPuppy1]

To get a nice heart-felt and sincere compliment --- not matter what it is for -- is so nice and something which really lifts your spirits!  

If I could choose, it would be for appearing to look younger!  I was blessed for having genes that made me appear much younger my whole life.  Now that I am nearly 65 --- aging is very hard.  I have to accept it and know it's part of life and nothing you can do about it.  I still get told that I look years younger.  Whether I do or not ---? I don't know.  I look in the mirror and see someone I don't know!  

If I get told occasionally that I look nice or that a certain blouse is attractive on me --- then I am happy and it makes me feel good!  

[StylishLady]

The compliments I get that I like most are those that say they love my outfits, shoes, etc. They make me feel I'm doing something right.

[Peaches McPhee]

Definitely weight.  

I may be an outlier, but I just don't care that much how old I am.  I am aging.  So what?  There is no way I'd want to go back in time.  As I look to retirement, now is a great stage of life.

[Mominohio]

I'd pick A because I am usually told I don't look my age,(but lets face it, that usually catches up with us sooner or later). I have struggled with weight all my life, so looking/being thinner would be the winner for me!

And while I agree to some extent with Sheila Nevins take on the difficulty of aging as a woman, I really don't think it is anywhere to close to being 'all women care about it' in the sense of our 'looks'.  It comes with so much more burden, caring for aging parents, limits on our own physical abilities, concern over financing our senior years etc, that take up much more time and effort than any wrinkle or sag and what I'm going to consider doing about it with a cream or surgery.

She makes it sound like our looks as we age are our biggest concern, and we hide from our age. I'm sure many do, but I see so many ladies who really embrace their well deserved journey, don't go to lenghts to hide it, and are proud of their advanced age, many not letting it slow them down one bit.