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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,960
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

donate it and learn the lesson that I would buy myself a nice present and give her a card.

Super Contributor
Posts: 377
Registered: ‎09-22-2014

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

What about when you and your friend decide no gifts this year and she shows up at your home at Christmas with not just one present but 4 gifts for you all totaling about $500.00!! Yes it's happened to me. When I told her we agreed, on no gifts this year, she said I know but I just couldn't resist buying these things for you. She was very generous and I thanked her but I was embarrassed because I had only a card and a bottle of wine for her. Later on she asked if she could borrow one of the presents (a beautiful sweater), haha. Of course I told her yes!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

On 3/19/2015 Autumn in NY said:

What about when you and your friend decide no gifts this year and she shows up at your home at Christmas with not just one present but 4 gifts for you all totaling about $500.00!! Yes it's happened to me. When I told her we agreed, on no gifts this year, she said I know but I just couldn't resist buying these things for you. She was very generous and I thanked her but I was embarrassed because I had only a card and a bottle of wine for her. Later on she asked if she could borrow one of the presents (a beautiful sweater), haha. Of course I told her yes!

Oh dear! I could imagine how embarrassed I would be. When people do that sort of thing they are just making it all about THEM and not the other person. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to embarrass you like that.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,319
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

I'm sorry, everyone. Just avoiding p**fing of an interesting/enjoyable thread. That's all, folks.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,319
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

Some people get much enjoyment in shopping for and giving gifts. Which is wonderful. I wouldn't 'feel bad' if someone surprised me with gifts, even if there was a no-gift agreement. I'd be grateful that I have friends who love to shop! Good for them! ..... p.s. Everyone knows I'm not one to spend hours shopping for gifts, and even for myself.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,994
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

I always ask my friends just to donate to an animal charity..The amount wouldn't matter...I gift based on their likes so I wouldn't try to agree on a cost to begin with..

Fighting for them.( formerly EMTHeart)
https://www.facebook.com/ChicagoAnimalCareandControl/?hc_ref=ARQABXWGU0QxJ8S0etv9UWoAqEOZu1NXSKeSB0FeztlSRyGYWx17U1XqY_nz92D_IGQ

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,124
Registered: ‎07-05-2012

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

On 3/19/2015 chickenbutt said:
On 3/19/2015 Autumn in NY said:

What about when you and your friend decide no gifts this year and she shows up at your home at Christmas with not just one present but 4 gifts for you all totaling about $500.00!! Yes it's happened to me. When I told her we agreed, on no gifts this year, she said I know but I just couldn't resist buying these things for you. She was very generous and I thanked her but I was embarrassed because I had only a card and a bottle of wine for her. Later on she asked if she could borrow one of the presents (a beautiful sweater), haha. Of course I told her yes!

Oh dear! I could imagine how embarrassed I would be. When people do that sort of thing they are just making it all about THEM and not the other person. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to embarrass you like that.

They both broke the agreement. The friend just broke it more Wink

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,476
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

I didn't see the show, but the situation is complicated. How we react probably is dependent on what we know about the other person, and what we know about ourselves.

Do we assume she knowingly purchased a fake?

Is our friendship strong enough for an honest talk, so we can be open about what we discovered?

If we don't talk it out, will we carry it inside, with bad feelings simmering?

Is the friendship worth taking the chance of creating an uncomfortable distance by confronting the issue... or did the friend already create the distance with the questionable gift?

Yikes, that's a lot of questions.{#emotions_dlg.scared}{#emotions_dlg.laugh} My answer is: Interesting thread, interesting predicament.Cool

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
Super Contributor
Posts: 377
Registered: ‎09-22-2014

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

On 3/19/2015 WenGirl42 said:
On 3/19/2015 chickenbutt said:
On 3/19/2015 Autumn in NY said:

What about when you and your friend decide no gifts this year and she shows up at your home at Christmas with not just one present but 4 gifts for you all totaling about $500.00!! Yes it's happened to me. When I told her we agreed, on no gifts this year, she said I know but I just couldn't resist buying these things for you. She was very generous and I thanked her but I was embarrassed because I had only a card and a bottle of wine for her. Later on she asked if she could borrow one of the presents (a beautiful sweater), haha. Of course I told her yes!

Oh dear! I could imagine how embarrassed I would be. When people do that sort of thing they are just making it all about THEM and not the other person. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to embarrass you like that.

They both broke the agreement. The friend just broke it more Wink

I gave her the wine as an afterthought. She was in my home and I had one on hand and gave it to her in reciprocation and thanks for the gifts. I suppose that is breaking the agreement and should have given her anything at all or maybe just hand her back the gifts and scold her. {#emotions_dlg.sneaky}

Super Contributor
Posts: 377
Registered: ‎09-22-2014

Re: You buy a gift for a friend...

On 3/19/2015 chickenbutt said:
On 3/19/2015 Autumn in NY said:

What about when you and your friend decide no gifts this year and she shows up at your home at Christmas with not just one present but 4 gifts for you all totaling about $500.00!! Yes it's happened to me. When I told her we agreed, on no gifts this year, she said I know but I just couldn't resist buying these things for you. She was very generous and I thanked her but I was embarrassed because I had only a card and a bottle of wine for her. Later on she asked if she could borrow one of the presents (a beautiful sweater), haha. Of course I told her yes!

Oh dear! I could imagine how embarrassed I would be. When people do that sort of thing they are just making it all about THEM and not the other person. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to embarrass you like that.

I know right? But she's such a nice person and I'm still confused by her actions. She did have a very good year with her job and bought a lot of extravagant presents for everyone.