Community Chat

[donovan]

I only singled the mother out once regarding the medical training as they used that as a plus for the new mother.  I was comparing apples to apples.  I don't know what medical training the new mother has, but I did know that the first adoptive mother was an RN (ie.  medically trained as well).  

All my other points were they, them, their. 

[Cakers3]

Being an RN does not automatically qualify one to handle an autistic child.

People are looking at anything to make Myka out as a terrible, monstrous person.

I see a family who had the best intentions and did what they could for 2 years.  They didn't give up the first week.

And why FTLOG are people defending China over this???

China was just as happy to release Huxley from the orphanage-and I'll leave it there.

[Mmsfoxxie]

@mom2four0418 , acceptable is a matter of opinion but usually people try longer with their birth children before giving up than with an adopted child.  I'm going by the YouTube video more than what the poster said.  

There are so many mistreated children in the world and when they are found out, what do we say?  We say they should have reached out for help before they did something drastic to the child.  This couple reached out.

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@mom2four0418 wrote:

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@Mmsfoxxie wrote:

I saw the adoptive parents on YouTube this morning.  This doesn't seem to be a choice they made in haste.  They weren't told that the child had challenges to the degree that he did.  They could not say what the challenges were for the sake of the child.

I don't see how this is any different than giving up a newborn for adoption by a mother.  IMO, this couple is doing what is best for the child.  They're admitting that they can't do their best for him

So, if one of their biological children is diagnosed with medical or psychological challenges, it will be acceptable for them to surrender that child for adoption?

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[donovan]

I never said that being an RN qualified one to handle an autistic child. 

I only mentioned it because she herself said the new mother was medically trained. Does the new mother's medical training qualifiy her to handle an autistic child?  

I was pointing out that Myka is also medically trained.  That is all.  I think it is a fair comparison.  

[mom2four0418]

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@Mmsfoxxie wrote:

@mom2four0418 , acceptable is a matter of opinion but usually people try longer with their birth children before giving up than with an adopted child.  I'm going by the YouTube video more than what the poster said.  

There are so many mistreated children in the world and when they are found out, what do we say?  We say they should have reached out for help before they did something drastic to the child.  This couple reached out.

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@mom2four0418 wrote:

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@Mmsfoxxie wrote:

I saw the adoptive parents on YouTube this morning.  This doesn't seem to be a choice they made in haste.  They weren't told that the child had challenges to the degree that he did.  They could not say what the challenges were for the sake of the child.

I don't see how this is any different than giving up a newborn for adoption by a mother.  IMO, this couple is doing what is best for the child.  They're admitting that they can't do their best for him

So, if one of their biological children is diagnosed with medical or psychological challenges, it will be acceptable for them to surrender that child for adoption?

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I have not read any information about this child being mistreated. Parents usually try longer with their birth children before giving up than with an adopted child? What is the difference between the birth and adopted child?

[Mmsfoxxie]

@mom2four0418, as far as I know this child was not mistreated.  I was using that as an example of what could be said when a child is kept by a parent, not reaching out for help and something happens to the child either emotionally or physically.  From what I heard from the adoptive parents, they simply were overwhelmed with what the child needed and they felt lacking.

To be honest, none of us on here know the answers to the many questions asked on here.  We're all speculating.

[Wsmom]

Very well, said, @donovan .

All of their "merching" of that adoption process and everything leaves a horrible impression.  If people donated X amt of money they would get their names in his baby book?   How self-absorbed are these people.  Now I will speak as a parent of a special needs child and say that it takes an unbelievable amt of time and energy to go to all the docs and therapies and you have to fight for every little thing.    Being a special needs parent isn't for sissies.  But an honest quesiton, would they have done this if it were one of their biological children.  

But I really think there is a good chance, from what I've read, he could have been violent and they couldn't deal with that anymore.  They tried behavior therapy, etc.  They do have to protect their other children.  I have been at therapy with DD when a particularly violent boy randomly flung himself and came flying over to jump my daughter.  Thankfully the therapist saw and was able to block him with her body. That is just one example.  I know people who have had to place their child in a group-home-type setting due to extreme violence and it broke their hearts.  If this is the case, again, I feel badly for them and give them a pass.

As a sidenote, when DD was a baby I was reading an article about a family similar to ours.  They had a two y/o and the baby was born with special needs.  I think Down's syndrome.  Well, that wasn't what they ordered, so she prayed and then realized that what the phrase "God only gives you what you can handle" meant  was she was able to put her baby up for adoption with a clear conscience.  Another child who was much better off going to a loving family who wanted her.  She would be about 30 now and I am sure a lovely young woman who probably would have given her parents less grief than their regular-needs children.  I always said both kids are equally stressful, just in different ways.  

[Mominohio]

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@ninjawife wrote:

I have a question for those that support or even applauded these parents decision.  Would you feel the same if the child was thier biological child and they re-homed him because they could handle raising him?

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Honestly @ninjawife  I can say I would feel the same. 

I'm not exactly applauding them, but grateful they didn't keep him and not do right by him, and I would feel that way about any child they no longer really wanted. 

My mom was raised in multiple homes where she was never wanted. She was abused in awful ways, neglected, and given away many times to other people who didn't want her either. 

If a child has to live like that, surrounded by people who will abuse or neglect you or place in in harms way with every place they dump you because they are overwhelmed, or any other reason, the child is better off to be given away permanetly and to someone that will do right by them. 

Some people aren't cut out to be parents, and especially to kids with special needs. Again, I don't know anything about this case, but a child, especially one with many special needs, shouldn't be left with people who aren't going to live up to the committment necessary.

[qualitygal]

From all the time that I watched their YT channel, they loved this little boy and still do.  They love him enough, to let him go, to get him the care and help he needs that they don't feel they can any longer.  How heart wrenching can that be!  

[Moonlady]

@Mmsfoxxie 

Acceptable? Now, you're getting "judgy."

Someone asked early on if it's legal. Of course, it is. Biological children can be surrendered for adoption. Adopted children, legally considered to be the same as biological children, can be, too. 

Whether or not they should, is nobody's business but their own.